Darkly Cute

I have my own frigg'n site now! =^-^=

2010-10-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Come on over and check it out. I found out how much a hosting plan + registering a URL cost and wondered why I haven't done it sooner. DX

Cuz, like, now I'm not really subject to a content TOS over there. So, a lot of the stuff I had over in Avatars United will be moved in. I'll set up a gallery soon. (^_^)

For now, the blog is up and running! =^-^=

http://www.darkly-cute.com/

You WILL accept display names! DX

2010-10-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

So, what really is in a name in SL? Mine? It's a sentence. Some people have real sounding or culturally specific names. Others have AOLish atrocities. Then there's the people who try to get a 'message' across with their account name... Like... xxx69lickyoudry Felicity. (O.o)

Of course, now we're going to be getting DISPLAY names. Our account name will be locked to whatever we signed up with, but, with a 7 day minimum we can have any bloody name at all... Well... Unless it's a curse word, on the ban list, or "Linden". (=_=)

But, why Linden? Eventually that gets dug up at the end of the meeting. (=_=)

[2010/10/07 11:57] Jack Linden: Drongle, Linden is a real world company with real world brand and protections of that brand. So yes, we will protect that inworld

But, what does that mean? (O.o)

Here's how the crowd understood it. (^_^)

[2010/10/07 11:58] Ciaran Laval: Linden is also a real name Jack
[2010/10/07 11:58] Master Kane: Oh and we qare just pissants jack?
[2010/10/07 11:58] Zoha Boa: ZoHA Islands is a RL company paying +400 K US$ in tier to LL. Why can't you protect us ?
[2010/10/07 11:58] Cummere Mayo: jack, many of the designers here are real world companies with bradings too
[2010/10/07 11:58] Cummere Mayo: *brandings
[2010/10/07 11:58] Imnotgoing Sideways: So, what about Linden St. San Francisco? (^_^)
[2010/10/07 11:58] Marianne McCann: Hmn. I suspect Voyager might be a company's name out there, maybe others...
[2010/10/07 11:58] Drongle McMahon: SA are hundreds of other names.
[2010/10/07 11:58] Aargle Zymurgy: and I'm legally incorporated as well.
[2010/10/07 11:59] Rigrunner Rang: so again i repeat a person can take no action until they see someone using their TM? There's no protective measures in place for anyone except Linden?

So, yeah, something is inconsistent... I mean...

[2010/10/07 12:00] Imnotgoing Sideways: But, we get to use our RL names, right... What about when a Frank Linden signs up to SL... It's now everyone but him. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 12:00] Imnotgoing Sideways: If there's nothing to be afraid of.... There's nothing to be afraid of. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 12:00] Lamorna Proctor: yeah, you can have any name you like, as long as it's not Linden. What's sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander

So far, the way I'm reading this is that anyone can have anyone else's name at any time, we can use our real life names, we can make up character names, but our display name can NOT contain "Linden". (=_=)

Stepping back in time...

[2010/10/07 11:38] Imnotgoing Sideways: Linden Lab was only called Linden Lab because the initial office was on Linden St. in San Francisco. Surely, the name has a history that predates SL. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 11:38] Lamorna Proctor: Unter den Linde was a street in Berlin years before :)
[2010/10/07 11:38] Lamorna Proctor: *Linden

So, Linden Research Inc. (Remember when they made that change?) feels the need to protect the "Linden" name. Why? It wasn't theirs to begin with. There are people, places, and streets that use Linden as a name. Surely, there may theoretically be a genuine reason for someone to name their avatar "Linden" at some point in time. But, that's blocked? (=_=)

To say they're protecting a trademark means... what? (O.o)

[2010/10/07 11:52] Cummere Mayo: i asked what procedure you have for takedown notices of trademakred or copyrighted names?
[2010/10/07 11:53] Cummere Mayo: saying talk to us isnt a procedure

Oh, true that. Residents have trademarked their names due to business interests and such. But, its not just that. We'll be stepping into this with zero knowledge of the grief that will come from mistaken identity, fraud, misdirected Abuse Reports, among many other potential issues. But, the Lindens aren't choosing to protect their resi... CUSTOMERS! Paying customers, at that. (=_=)

Personally, I can say that I don't completely mind display names, but, I despise the current method being used to implement it. Add to that, Linden Lab keeps telling us that there won't be a need for protections over our names. But... They protect their own? So, if there's no need, why do THEY need it? That's the whole sticky point for me. (=_=)

I think I have a solution... Opt out. =^-^=

[2010/10/07 11:17] Imnotgoing Sideways: I'd still love to have an option in my profile that says "Add my account name to the display name blacklist". It can be a tickbox right next to "Hide me In search". (^_^)

People like the idea. But, will it be implemented. Heck, it's not even getting acknowledged. (=_=)

I dunno. I'm seeing a lot of frustrated people who are currently putting a lot of money into SL. Linden Lab seems to strictly target who they can get far more than who they can keep. It just smells. (>_<)

The question is...

[2010/10/07 11:20] Molly Montale: If being fooled is not a real concern then why will the sur name Linden not be available?

Anyone got an answer? Anyone? Bueller? =^-^=

For a limited time @ Darkly Cute - Freebie shoes! =^-^=

2010-10-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

So, I got a pumpkin dress today and figured I wanted my shoes to match. So, I looked for a decent orange shade and went for it. =^-^=

So... For the month of October, I'll be offering them for free at my usual locations:

Darkly Cute :: Ferguson
Darkly Cute :: Morbidette

HAPPY HALOLIWEEN!!! =^-^=

(^_^)y

New @ Darkly Cute - Wedgies! =^-^=

2010-10-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

I did it again. This time they're wedges. I made them in three colors and they're same as before, Copy+Mod+NoTransfer with V1 and V2 compatible versions. (^_^)y

Nab a pair at the Morbidette Market http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morbidette/54/113/22 or in my cookie jar http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/238/94

=^-^=

I got'em all up on the walls. (^_^)

Jira sillies... (O.o)

2010-09-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

I use the Jira, I really do. I don't mind the interface, and I've had issues directly addressed. (^_^)

But, here's an odd one... (o.o)

In March I started VWR-18470 after noticing that my offlines took a couple relogs before they came inworld... Which was heavily inconvenient since I have a full time job in addition to inworld responsibilities that lead to me getting IMs 24 hours a day. I've never seen another client exhibit this behaviour. (>_<) In May SVC-3503 was started, pretty much addressing the same issue and determining that it's a server-side issue. I'm not so prepared to believe that it's server side, since it only exhibits while using V2 clients. So...

imnotgoing sideways added a comment - 26/Mar/10 4:07 AM
If someone can move/copy my duplication captures from http://jira.secondlife.com/browse/VWR-18470 Please do so.

Alexa Linden added a comment - 03/May/10 12:00 PM
Duplicate of ~~VWR-18470~~

Okay... That settles things. Seems my observations were correct, after all. (^_^)

But...

Esbee Linden added a comment - 24/Sep/10 3:02 PM
Dupe. This is a server issue (already linked to this ticket).

Eh? Can we say infinite loop, boys and girls? (O.o)

So, I looked at the linked tickets to mine and I see that SVC-3503 remains closed. I can't re-open it. The best I can do is sit, comment, and watch. (=_=)

I'm still not convinced that it's a server side issue. But, hey... They know what they're doing, right? (O.o)

New @ Darkly Cute - SHOES! =^-^=

2010-09-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY made some shoes. I been wanting to do this in forever. After many hours of arm-wrestling with Blender I finally pumped out a pair of... Well... Pumps! =^-^=

I've placed them both at my mainland store and at the Morbidette Marketplace. (^_^)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/238/94

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morbidette/54/113/22

Be Darkly Cute! (^_^)y

When social phobias attack... (._.)

2010-09-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

To start... This is a typical scene for me. (._.)

What you see here is me standing exactly 19 meters away from the furthest person in the conversation, as my Mystitool reads. I'm not "hiding". I'm not "spying". I just can't bring myself to get any closer. At least... Not without a direct invitation. And, if I do happen to get an invitation, what's going to stop me from having an anxiety attack which drives me to leave? (T_T)

I'm telling myself, "It's okay here". (._.)

I'm telling myself, "They're happy to be unaware of me." (._.)

I'm telling myself, "If I get any closer, I'll just cause trouble." (._.)

I'm afraid. (T_T)

What I'm afraid of most is that my friends have gotten used to this. They think this is where I'm happy too. Over time, they've stopped noticing me. Or, they've grown to glaze over me since nothing is ever going to get better. (._.)

I'm still in therapy. One more week. I still can't value myself enough to simply walk up to my own friends. I've been like this since I was a kid. I came to SL to escape from it. I did for a while. But, after a year and a half, my old phobias crept back in and followed me to my virtual life. (T_T)

How do I take control of this? (T_T)

How can I bring myself to just walk up to them? (T_T)

If I can't, what am I supposed to do with myself. (T_T)

This stinks all mighty and I want out. The hard part is that it's my own head. How do I get out of my own head? (T_T)

Helping a world of unstoppable diversity. (._.)

2010-09-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

... Or, a virtual world, that is. (>_<)

So... Emeraldgate seems to be over. The client has mostly been blacklisted, the "bad" devs banned, and everyone is looking for the next big shiny. Most people don't want to use the V2 client because, to them, it's too great a departure from the interface they've been used to for 2, 3, 4, 7 years. So, what's the former 'Emerald' flock to do? (O.o)

Mind you... That's a pretty big darned flock. (=_=)

At this moment Linden Lab's Third Party Viewer Directory list has 13 clients of varying types. The most visible and shiny being Phoenix, Emergence, Kirsten's, Ascent, and Imprudence. All of which have VERY different user interfaces! DX

From the approach of 'sticking to V1-4life!!' to 'making V2 my way'... From client to client; buttons, menus, and options are all over the place! In addition, most of these clients are still open beta or hobby projects. So they're not totally stable, not all features work 100%, some features are flat-out missing, and worst of all... providing help in Second Life is mired in the new complexity this diversity introduces. (>_<)

As someone who likes to be knowledge and helpful, I'd often have the top 2 or 3 clients installed on my computer and keep up with the updates as they came out... Usually spending a day on each then going back to my personal favorite until someone has a major update. (^_^)

That was easy back in the days of Cool Viewer, Emerald, Imprudence, and LL's offering. The UIs were generally equal, knowing each client meant knowing the LL base functions plus whatever the TPV devs added. Problems would filter down and I'd just have to take note of what I hear from frustrated users to come up with solutions for each client. (^_^)

But now... DX

LL's V2 UI is a giant departure from what people have experienced for the past 7 years. Mind you, it's a departure I appreciate. It's more of a "computer" UI to me, which I can absorb and adopt easily as opposed to the "video game" UI that I struggled in with the V1 clients. Still... It's a departure and not all TPV devs have utilized it. For the ones who have, it often gets heavily modified. (._.)

And, that's where the problem comes in with the TPV clients. They're modding like crazy. So, when it comes time to provide help...

[2010/09/05 14:01] ** **: where is "Disable Camera Constrains" in Imprudence viewer?

[2010/09/11 18:41] ** **: I am using snowglobe. how do I manage these chat screens.. there annoying

[2010/09/11 18:42] ** **: imprudence has a different font

[2010/09/11 18:42] ** **: Yeah, it needs some tweaks, which is why I was on Kirstens, but that kept crashing on me.

[2010/09/11 18:52] ** **: someone told me there is a spell checker in Imprudence viewer..how the eff do u turn it on

[2010/09/11 20:45] ** **: Blech. By default, Imprudence still tries to save inventory scripts as LSO. Whyyyyyy. ._.

[2010/09/11 20:45] Imnotgoing Sideways: Mono makes teleporting evil. (._.)

[2010/09/11 20:59] ** **: I was just talking to my mom and wondering why phoenix debug menu wont stop my typin

.... And I have NO BLOODY CLUE how to respond to these things. I like to help, people come to me for assistance, but I just can't seem to keep up with the influx of different clients in SL. (._.)

As a result, much of last night's Q&A event was more a round-table of us trying to find who learned what on which client and if it addresses the issues that another person has. No two people were in the same version of the same TPV and all we could do was simply try our darndest to provide as complete a solution as possible. (._.)

Even for my building classes... Stupid silly things like "Select Texture" being renamed "Select Face" is enough to suck precious minutes from the lesson so that the diverse mix&match user base can proceed. (._.)

What's a helper and educator to do? Add disclaimers to events for which clients are supported for each lesson? Hope to bloody'ek that LL works with the TPV devs in collaboration and come up with a reasonable compromise in UI standardization? (O.o)

It's work. SL is supposed to be fun. Meh... I'm going inworld to build myself a micro avatar. I'll be using V2 due to it being my personal favorite UI. Don't mind me. (._.)

Meet the... WTF!?! (O.o)

2010-09-05T22:27:00.001-07:00

I met E-famous people tonight. =^-^=

We were just kinda hanging out in our sim and Frac dropped in to say "hi". We poked at him for a while to make sure he was still squishy and had a chat. Eventually he went AFK in forever and someone dunked him in the water. (._.)

So, he comes back for a moment and gets back out of the drink. But, not long later a buncha people start landing on his head. Lots of familiar names too. I guess they had a lot to say to Frac, but, I don't run with voice on, so, meh... (=_=)

Then... Uhm... Arabella shows up. Dang! She's taller than I expected! She's nice, though. Had a good chat with her and offered well wishes over the situation down in that area, considering the earth quake and all. (._.)

It was kinda fun... Given our only plans for the night pretty much involved standing around and maybe critiquing each other's clothing. (^_^)

It was like a flash mob of Emerald drama just kinda blew through the sim! =^-^=

Doing something.

2010-09-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

I just went home early from work for the first time in probably four years.

Called the hospital.

Arranged to see a therapist in one hour from now.

Scared out if my wits.

I have actually muted someone. (._.)

2010-09-02T17:38:00.000-07:00

No "Hi"... No "Good evening" or what ever applies to the time zone... Just this. (T_T)

[2010/09/02 17:31] Exa Ella: what is your name btw
[2010/09/02 17:31] Imnotgoing Sideways: ...
[2010/09/02 17:32] Imnotgoing Sideways: Imnotgoing Sideways. Though, I prefer to go by "Immy". (._.)
[2010/09/02 17:32] Exa Ella: rl
[2010/09/02 17:32] Exa Ella: my name is rich
[2010/09/02 17:33] Imnotgoing Sideways: I have consistently stated that I will not share RL information. Is that so hard to understand? (T_T)
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: yes
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: because it is odd unless you have something to hide
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: you will lose me as a friend unless you stop being so secretive
[2010/09/02 17:34] Imnotgoing Sideways: Okay. Muted. (>_<)
[2010/09/02 17:34] Exa Ella: even someone who works for the FBI wouldn't act like that

Really? FREAKING REALLY? (T_T)

Catch-22?

2010-08-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to make an appointment for a psychological evaluation. (._.)

I forgot my HMO account password. (._.)

The web site won't Email me a update link. (._.)

It's telling me I have to call in by phone and request a new password to be sent by mail. (._.)

I currently can't use a telephone without having some sort of anxiety attack. (._.)

Why do they think I'm trying to make an appointment for a psychological evaluation? (T_T)

How often do you say "My avatar"? (O.o)

2010-08-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

It just kind of sprung on me right now. I left a post earlier today where I said "I don't have any eyes". The fact of the matter is that 'my avatar' doesn't have any eyes. But, unthinkingly, I speak as though it's myself. (O.o)

Now, I've made it pretty clear that I totally identify as "Immy" with my often repeated statement: Immy is my me that's more "me" than I can ever be. But, I'm just having a major "woah!" moment in referring to my virtual "me" as "I". (o.O)

So, a question: Have you ever had that "woah!" moment? When referring to your avatar, is it "I, me, my"? Or, is it "my avatar"? (^_^)

Or, should I lay off the glue for a while? (^_^)y

To distract myself... (._.) ... A little story. (^_^)

2010-08-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

Email has a "Reply To All" button. It's good because there are times when an Email discussion needs to continue to involve all parties, it's a single click away. (^_^)

But, when a company-wide announcement comes out, Reply To All is the Satan's spawn of Email servers world wide. (>_<)

Of course, now people know to include in company-wide announcements, "Please don't reply to all" in order to spare everyone the spamming of little "congratulations" when the CEO's nephew gets promoted to Senior Director of Scratching His Butt In A Cushy Office. (^_^)

But, of course, not everyone reads and follows such requests. Thusly, the company continues to be spammed. "Congratulations!!!" =^-^=

Then there's the hero... The one who replies asking that people stop using Reply To All... Of course, in a Reply To All message. (=_=)

But, we're not finished yet. There's still that last person to reply to our glorious Reply To All saviour by sending a message saying "THANK YOU!!!!".... In a Reply To All message. (O,o)

Will we ever survive the Martian onslaught? (^_^)y

Now I see...

2010-08-08T06:24:00.001-07:00

This has nothing to do with money.

I just bought an organ that cost as much as a car.

I can afford it, so, nothing changed.

But, now, I'm being begged to go to church.

Now I know what to do with myself.

This has nothing to do with money.

Where I am

2010-08-03T12:30:00.001-07:00

I have been married for nearly 12 years. I have been an introvert for far longer.

Within the first two years of my marriage, I had to quit the band I was playing bass in, quit my job with the guitar shop, give up any frequent visits with the two people I still considered friends since leaving high school, convert to Catholicism and get baptized, and generally relegate my life to things that allow me to be 'in touch' at all times.

My only escape was work.

My only retreat was business trips.

I went on a trip to China last week. But, something different happened this time. I made a friend. A very smart, attractive, and nice friend. A friend who wound up deeply disappointed to discover that I was married. A friend, none the less. We're still chatting on Skype... Time zones allowing.

With that, I think I've discovered the difference between being alone and being lonely.

I'm not free yet. But, I am making changes. Eventually, the life I'm living must come to an end somehow. I want to escape. I need to escape. I not only have my own wall to break down, but, there's an additional barrier put up by my spouse which is the real nightmare.

I still don't know exactly what to do. I've had many friends and co-workers tell me "just get out". But, it's easier said than done. Though, last week's events have helped my confidence. I think I have the energy to free myself. I just need to know what to do and how to do it.

I've been in the cage so long. Even if someone were to open the door for me, I'm afraid I've lost awareness enough to actually step out. What is the move to make? What are the words to use?

I'm working on it.

Doing a touch of comment cleanup. (^_^)

2010-07-21T17:37:00.001-07:00

I deleted many of the spam comments from the blog as they weren't much more than periods hyperlinked to asian porn sites... And, they weren't even good sites. (._.)

I'm going to leave comments open to Google registered posters without moderation for now. It's a small blog. No harm done. (^_^)y

Doggies in kidland =^-^=

2010-07-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

Currently there's this one bloody thread in the SL Blogorum. It OP'd with a lady expressing her hatred for kid avatars. Though, her "hatred" wasn't really much more than annoyance over annoying people. Heck... Even kid avatars hate the kid avatars she describes. (^_^)

Of course, there's the typical run of chime-ins by people who want to spout about their false pretenses over pedophilia and such... And the people who still think there's some sort of political agenda in keeping kid AVs on the grid. Oh, and let's not forget the kid avatars who really do portray themselves as outspoken and positive contributing residents to SL (Waving at ya' Mari!) (^_^)

But, now we have teh trollzorz! Xd

Namely one Dogboat Taurog. Now, name alone tells me not to take this bugger seriously... Much like myself and that bloody "Sideways" name. =^-^=

But, here's the fun part: He's "CAMPAIGNING" for an all out ban on child avatars. Yes, the total "LOL WUT?" session, all the way. Apparently, he subscribes to the worst form of Association Fallacy known to man. The one that believes that he's heard remotely of one kind of person being bad so it's time to paint the whole community with a broad brush and somehow put them in their place. (^_^)

See... For one, he doesn't seem to care about any form of actual child abuse. Being that he hasn't mentioned any concern of that level at all. In addition, he won't even focus on sexual ageplayers. Lacking focus is a surefire way to fail at a goal. No. His target? The ENTIRE child avatar community. Oh, and for a moment, me along with it... You know, he directly threatened to AR me based on some speculative statement by someone parroting Prokkie's rantings of your's truly. =^-^=

So, now what? What's the hubbub? Why bother? (^_^)

Well... He's bloody entertaining. It's like prodding the village drunk and watching him stumble down the street. And, since LL's moderators seem to be asleep behind the wheel, the thread's able to trudge on without any resistance. (^_^)

It's times like this when I love delusional people. They make such entertaining toys. (^_^)y

http://blogs.secondlife.com/thread/27560?start=0&tstart=0

(Be sure to read the thread in "Flat" mode... "Threaded" mode will practically crash your browser.) =^-^=

Happy birthday to who? (O.o)

2010-06-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

I spent a bit of Monday touring the SL7B sims. I checked out Unexpected Childhoods, the RHN display, and of course NCI. (^_^)

I did notice a bit of a reduction in lag for the places that didn't have as many avatars. People are getting used to the idea that not every texture has to be alpha-glow-shiny-of-death. (^_^)

The overall continent is as expected. Everyone's there showing their community or their artwork. Almost like an annual tradition, nipples are causing controversy again. So, it's yet another SL birthday. (^_^)

There's one island that got to me, though. SL7B Bear Island. (>_<) Yes, I know it's fun to collect Linden Bears and such... I have quite a few myself. But, there were some things there that really hit me as tactless flubs, considering recent events. (._.)

To start... Blue. (._.)

It felt very strange to see a roughly down-scaled version of Blue Linden's avatar being presented there. Especially considering the avatar, himself, is no longer in existence due to a downsizing of LL's staff. (._.)

Then camming around the other bears...

Really? (T_T)

I know the feeling of being laid off of work and the idea that my own effort or image would be presented along with such a gag would hit hard. (>_<) Really, it was almost enough to ruin the whole tour of the place. I almost lost interest in visiting any more 7B related builds. Seeing so many bears representative of the good people of Linden Lab who were off'd by staff reductions was just such a downer. Especially the ones who used their inworld AVs so often and engaged the community to improve, explore, and expand SL to what it is today. (>_<)

Visiting the place just left me cold. (._.)

I'd like to think I can still have close friends... (._.)

2010-06-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

... But, it seems like all the disasters start once I become close to someone. (._.)

I've had friendships in SL for over two years now. Each of them being someone totally different from the others. Some come and go. Others are IM-only affairs. While others I've grown to depend on for direct companionship. The problem is, I'm afraid I depend on them too much. I'm asking for too much attention from too few people. (._.)

I may seem open, but, I'm deathly afraid to approach people. I can talk to strangers, but, only after they approach me. I have to drive myself very hard to be able to approach another. There are very very few people who have ever seen a friend request from me because I'm simply too afraid to be so bold as to offer the invite. (._.)

If all things... Frigg'n Immy is shy. (T_T)

At the same time, I'm quite lonely. I depend on group chats and crowded events for my company. I cling tightly to anyone I can connect with in fear that I won't see them return if we ever part ways. Every day is my last. If I miss the opportunity to be with the people I like now, what other opportunity will I get? (T_T)

Of course... I obsess. I expect too much. Someone TPs me over and asks me to keep them company and all I find is idleness. I can't handle idleness. There's one problem... (T_T)

[2010/06/13 21:37] Imnotgoing Sideways: I'll go to bed.
[2010/06/13 21:37] ** **: Hmm already?
[2010/06/13 21:38] Imnotgoing Sideways: What else could I do?
[2010/06/13 21:39] ** ** : Keep -- occupied while I poke my head in and out
[2010/06/13 21:39] Second Life: ** ** has offered to teleport you to their location:

... only to confront this...

Its not that you have problem generating [fun], its that you seem to need a constant stream of activity.

When most others are content being idle.

So, upon accepting a teleport in order to "occupy" someone, I'm told that I'm trying to be too active. To me, that comes as a "sit down, shut up, be seen, and not heard"... It hits hard.

I've been told this far too often. While being told to not worry, that I fit in, and that everyone is 'okay' with me... I also get descriptions of the the how and why I don't fit in. To me, it's a matter of actions speaking louder than words. And, it grates on me. It drives me to the point of meltdowns where I do a ton of stupid things. (._.)

So, here I am... In the middle of another meltdown. Alone, scared, cold, and bored. Wasting my Saturday by walking around in circles and infrequently peeking at the agent count in my sim to see if there is anybody I can send my camera to just in case there's something to watch. (T_T)

In wanting to be active, I've become idle. In wanting to be social, I've discovered a pattern of self isolation. I don't know the way out.

I want friends.

I want to know what it means to have friends.

I don't want to be like this.

I don't know what to expect or not to expect. I don't know if I can handle the mixed messages I get. I want friends, but, I don't know how to be a friend. I can chat with people I don't know at all just fine. But once they get to know me, something goes haywire. Is it simply because they finally see the kind of person I am? Have I crossed any lines or reached any points of no return? I wish I knew. I wish I could know. (T_T)

I'm not smart enough to understand what the heck is going on. And, at this point, all I ever get are confusing half-speeches that I'm left to decipher or "not twist" into something I can't possibly understand. At this point, I'm alone. RL and SL. In both places, I'm in a dark room. In both places, I'm afraid to venture out. In both places, I'm in utter fear that I'll have another meltdown again.

There's nothing I can do.

I'm losing everything.

There isn't much left.

I don't know what I've done.

I don't know what to do.

llSetFriggnImmy();

2010-06-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

I'm getting very sick of what I've turned into lately. I'm pulling my hair out. My friends are pulling their hair out. Heck, even people who don't like me are trying to figure out what's going on.

I know what I want to do with myself. But, I lack the strength. I need something. A trigger? A catalyst? I don't know what.

I spent a lot of today on my drums (in RL) beating the crud out of them. My ears are shot for the rest of the day. I finally downloaded Cage The Elephant from Amazon and I've been listening to In One Ear over and over.

I'm trying to get the message.

I know my friends want me back. I want me back too.

How do I come back?

What direction do I go?

I need Need NEED to get out of this funk.

I'm frigg'n Immy!!!

I can be the biggest little crud on the grid if I just get my head together.

But, what's going to be the catalyst? How am I going to get my confidence back? Where did I go so wrong and how can I put that behind me?

Working on this.

Hating myself for killing the Emoticons. Finding delays when I backspace them out of chat.

Going to go say "Hi" to someone on my friends list now and see what comes of it. I'm rarely that bold.

I've run out of smiles.

2010-05-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

My Google Alert results on my AV name returned me a link to a Greasemonkey source site where someone submitted a script designed to remove my emoticons from my forum posts.

This, combined with drama being stirred in my inworld friendships and what seems to be a general consensus drives me to one conclusion.

The emoticons started as a chat board gag when people were bugging me about my punctuation and capitalization. I'm a skilled typist. I don't chat in 1337 or txtish. I make complete sentences and punctuate them properly. People reacted as if I was slowing down chat or making it hard to keep up. As a result, I responded to them by embellishing my chat with emotes. A sort of showing off my own typing speed even when proper grammar and spelling were used.

In time, the emotes defined my chat. I was able to reflexively utilize a roster of different appearances to indicate my current mood and intent for each line I wrote. Anyone who has chatted with me inworld in SL, in Gtalk, or remembers me from prior AIM and YIM accounts, in addition to co-workers reading my lighter Emails can attest that they've never slowed me down.

But, of all places, SL and SL related forums; I've received a lot of flak for using them. I came to SL to create the social life I never had. In effect, it seems I was never meant to have a social life, as what I've developed here is almost as bad as my experience in high school.

So, to me, it's "Your world. Your imagination. Just not you."

Part of me is shutting down.

I hope someone receives pleasure from this.

@Prokofy - You're jumping at shadows. (=_=)

2010-04-25T09:00:00.001-07:00

RE: Put Mute and Block in Avatars United

It's becoming far more obvious that I'm banned from commenting on Second Thoughts because Prok wants to hide the truth. (=_=)

I have never offered you a friend request. I don't want to be your friend. And, I have never done anything "repeatedly" upon you. You call, I respond. You lie, I clarify. You scream "conspiracy", I say "shut up!". (=_=)

So... I wake up to this in my offlines:

[23:17] Cristalle Karami: I don't know what you did to Prok, but he has mistaken me for your alt.
[23:21] Cristalle Karami: thinks I'm harassing him and stalking him, and he muted me when i had a legitimate business question.

All apologies to Cristalle for the use of her name. (._.)

I will reply to her directly once I get inworld and let her know the kind of paranoid and dishonest freak you are. (=_=)

Prok; you want me muted so your lies go unchallenged. I will continue to challenge your lies. Plugging your ears and going "commie-commie-commie-commie-commie" will get you nowhere. (=_=)

A Reply From Scout.

2010-04-21T17:07:00.001-07:00

I'm placing this here just in case the reply is deleted.

Reference: Second Thoughts

"As for service and soldiering if he is playing that card he needs to post his name, rank, unit, home base, commander, xo, and first sergeant for verification purposes."

Who would you be to make any verification? Is this situation really that important that I need to disclose my chain of command so that you can discuss my alleged online video game crimes with my "boss"?

If you can name actual events where I have been cited in violation of the TOS, while employed by the military, then sure by all means, go ahead, email me and I'll give you their names. There is none. What I do with my personal time is up to me as long as it does not bring discredit on the Military. Building a refrigerator, which is in accordance with the TOS, like all of my actions, is in no way bringing discredit upon anyone.

My command would look at this and comment like those of "AnnOtoole" with confusion and probably ignore it. Woodbury has as much to do with real communism as playing counterstrike as the Soviet side does. People play as the OPFOR in video games all the time, with far more defamation, use of foul language, and inhumane comments than you'll ever find in typical Woodbury conversation. There is no agenda, manifesto or guidelines for building and playing a game the way Woodbury does. There is no real world conspiracy here.

People know what I am like in real life, and you only know how I was when I had time to play Second Life, which was ages ago and lately in no capacity (logging on 30 seconds at a time on a 14k connection is no way to "play"). People will ultimately choose to judge the person they know in the real world, and measure me by my merits and values.

I said my piece, and I also asked Prokofy to remove my website and real name from the letter so as not to invade on the privacy of myself and my Wife. A test of Prokofy's values. Is it worth slandering my real character for your article, or can you leave that out of it.
Scout.

"There is no real world conspiracy here." (>_<)

Woodbury University Gone. Does anyone care? (._.)

2010-04-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

RE: http://blogs.secondlife.com/message/185656

I do. (._.)

I was first introduced to the group by Scout back when NCI was getting raided by W-hats. We were dealing with a particularly abusive mob when Aley/Arcadia came back as an alt to see how things were going. That day I joined the group and was introduced to some of the most intelligent, creative, and fun-loving people I've ever met... Who are unafraid to have a good stupid laugh. (^_^)

I stood my ground for the good people of the group when I faced being shunned for association in a situation that nearly dismantled NCI. (>_<)

I called bloggers on their lies in regards to the activities of my friends and myself in relation to the group. (>_<)

I'd visit the sandbox once in a while and I enjoyed the gifts of scripts, outfits, pictures, textures, and other creative offerings that were given out in group notices. The place was beautiful. From highly detailed and imposing military weaponry, to well crafted vehiciles, to sim-scale construction projects that were marvels of quality, effeciency, and ingenuity. (^_^)

But. That's gone now. Anyone who could have gone to Concierge support about it has been summarily terminated. The sims are shut down. The mainland parcels have been force-abandoned. And the group, itself, has been technically deleted. It's currently in the limbo-ish state that the SL Mentors group was in when that group was purged. (._.)

So, who cares? People like me who saw beyond the facade of fearmongering and old-world politics. I will find other ways to contact my friends. Still... A chill has hit the grid. Second Life has become a little less fun this week. (T_T)

SL RP - The making of a persocom. <(^_^)>

2010-04-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

So... What's this funny stuff on my head? What's all this talk about recharging, CPU, and interfaces? What is a persocom? (^_^)

The simple answer is that a Persocom is a "Personal Computer" in Japanese-ish. Okay, end of story. Bye now. =^-^=

But... That didn't look like a desktop of any kind. (O.o)

It's Chii, of the story Chobits. A Japanese lolicon Manga turned Anime published and broadcast around 2001 and 2002. The story revolves around a parallel of today's modern times with one caveat, computers are now constructed in humanoid form... And, they're bloody expensive! DX

Having computers in humanoid form, the story was able to weave a tale of criticism about people's addiction and "love" for technology without making the story too heavy. At the same time, the key players in the story were able to be presented in a love tale that parallels taboo relationships and learning to accept people for who they are. (^_^)

You can read more about Chobits by following the Manga or checking out the Wikipedia site. (^_^)

Uhm... Where does Second Life come in? (O.o)

In Second Life, it's become quite obvious that we can make our avatars into anything. As I've been exploring, I've turned from kid AV, to adult AV, to mermaid, and I've recently settled on Persocom. I spend a lot of my time on a dollification sim named The Doll Works and many of my friends have taken on some sort of doll, gynoid, or Persocom form. (^_^)

So, in SL, when you hear "Human" you expect to see a regular flesh&bones being. When you hear "Furry" you expect some sort of fuzzy anthro. What should you expect to see when you hear "Persocom"? ... (O.o)

That gets difficult. (^_^)

See... In the story of Chobits, Persocoms were shown to take on many forms. From a perfectly natural 16 year old girl, to an 8 year old boy, to a lingerie clad housemaid, to a palm-sized genie. What, what can a Persocom be? Anything! (^o^)

And, that's the best part. While some people think they have to limit themselves to a certain type or ear-pod or eye pattern, the truth is Persocoms have taken on designs of any form an type. Even the ear pods can be dynamic. There were a few Persocoms in the Chobits story that didn't appear to have pods at all. So, it's not all about what you bulk up on your head. =^-^=

At the same time, there is an attractive "Cyber" aspect to Persocoms. The idea of having USB cables flailing around, needing charging cycles to remain mobile, or even including blatantly obvious sensory systems are all possibilities. (^_^)

In addition, being a Persocom pretty much makes for no-limits roleplay. In the story, plenty of hints were laid out to indicate that Persocoms in general were constructed to be anatomically correct. So, stripping your Persocom of its clothing would reveal... *ahem!*... hardware (software?). =^-^=

So, hey! That's what I've been doing for a while. I haven't taken on the "Chii" image Persocom much as I've tended to prefer a more retro appearance using some customized items I got from LPP. So... Look for the ear pods to be on top of my head, coolant pipes to litter my back, and hollowed out eyes revealing a roster of vacuum tubes and a pair of web-cams to fill out my optical needs. (^_^)

Most of the time, I often describe myself as a "cyberdoll" simply because it's a more broadly grasped term. But, none the less, I'm reenacting one of my favorite characterizations to ever fill my Manga shelf. (^_^)y

LULZing at teh edumacatered ones. =^-^=

2010-04-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

I just finished a project to prove that the R&D team screwed up on the backlight inverter design. I was assisted partially by a nearby engineer just to be sure I was getting things right. The experiment lasted about a week and was a matter of me tuning an alternative inverter so that it would stably deliver the peak current allowed to maintain the 50kH lifetime the bulb specifies. (^_^)

This engineer has been consistently confrontational and spent a lot of time discouraging each stage of the process by pointing out that he believes I lack the experience to properly manage the tasks to come. (=_=)

I just sent out images of the final waveforms comparing my modded circuit to an off-the-shelf unmodded board. (^_^)

He sends me an Email. "This is why we need someone from R&D present. Some of these waveforms are completely unacceptable." DX

I respond. "I know. Those 'unacceptable' wave forms are from the default unmodified circuit." XD

BCC to his boss. =^-^=

Anyway... Who could turn down freebies like this? ...

2010-04-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

... That are THIS FREAKING CUTE!!! XD

Now... Where mah BDSM at?! =^-^=

Mincing words over words. (^_^)

2010-04-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

In reply to a comment here:

A cuff is an extra layer of fabric at the lower edge of the sleeve of a garment covering the arms. In US usage the word may also refer to the end of the leg of a pair of trousers. The functional purpose of turned cuffs is to protect the material from fraying and, when frayed, to allow the cuffs to be repaired or replaced without major changes to the garment.

Cuffs may be made by turning back the material, or a separate band of material may be sewn on or worn separately attached by buttons or studs. A cuff may show an ornamental border, or have an addition of lace or other trimming.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuff

If Prokkie would just un-ban me from his blargh... Oh well. He likes being wrong and silencing voices of dissent. (^_^)y

The makings of PG BDSM? (^_^)

2010-04-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

In response to this blog post... (^_^)

Linden Lab has given us a glimpse of the new New User Experience via DiscoveryIslandPublic. In this island is little mentions of what SL is about. In it, there's a freebie store of some items made by some very reputable content creators in my point of view. (^_^)

One of them is Curious Kitties. They're a great maker of outfits for EGL, Elf, Furry, Goth, and Child AV outfits. Most clothing has a dark and simple theme. The avatars and skins are surely Asian influenced. And, overall, it's a fun store/sim to visit. (^_^)

So, Linden Lab sees this popularity and decides to offer some of the store's items to the new resident public for free. Nothing wrong with that, no? I know I nabbed ALL the outfits. =^-^=

So... What's the harm in that? Well... Teh mad blogger decided arm bands and a puffy neck shirt is BDSM gear. ORLY? (O.o)

So, gothy fashion clothing that's available on a PG sim in a PG store and now made available for free on a PG new resident region is BDSM gear? Meh. Someone's gotta change their meds. (^_^)y

Alec smells. =^-^=

2010-03-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

... Just saying. (^_^)y

Chronology of a "Reduced Price" (^_^)

2010-03-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

This was too LULZy to let slide. I had a good laugh. =^-^=

I sent my senior tech out to buy us some network cards and he did so (good boy!). I couldn't help but laugh at what he came back with. Sure, it was nothing more special than a box of PCI network cards, but it was the price tags that made me scratch my head. (O.o)

Okay... So, it was $14.99 and they reduced the price to $14.24. But, wait... The "Reduced Price" label was placed UNDER the shrink wrap. So... The price was reduced BEFORE the actual price tag was applied? (o.O)

Hang on... I see more than one sticker. The box looks like it has a stack... I must investigate... (=_=)

DOOOD! DX

The reduced price prior to the current reduced price was $13.99. So, the current reduced price isn't a reduced price at all. It's a jacked up price! DX

Add to that, all this is happening BELOW the shrink wrap. If anything, that $14.99 price tag is the most recent label to be put on the thing. How long ago was it $13.99? (=_=)

Hang on... There's just one more sticker to go... (o.o)

Okay! So the first time the price was "reduced" it was $14.24... Just like it is now. =^-^=

But... How long ago was this? And, why is this whole mess under the shrink wrap? (O.o)

Something smells and it's not the tunafish sandwich I wear under each arm... (=_=)

Land ownership, fairness, and you. (^_^)y

2010-03-09T21:34:00.000-08:00

I'm just reflecting on what I've been reading and responding to on the SL Blogorum lately. (^_^)y

All land in SL is privately owned. That is to say, the servers are property of Linden Research, Inc. and are occupied by land holders who have funded the establishment, use, and support of the resources the virtual land takes advantage of on the servers. None of which is public domain or a matter of funding beyond the 'owner', tier payer, or premium account holder. (^_^)

That said, it's simple; My place, my rules. =^-^=

I'm seeing post, upon post, upon post from people crying foul over being parcel, sim, and estate banned. More than half aren't even asking for a solution. They're just spouting off at the mouth about how "unfair" or "unjust" their ban is... To the point of sounding like they have some sort of "right" to be somewhere and as if they deserve the privilege by default. (=_=)

Well... Sorry to break it to y'all. But, you ain't entitled to go everywhere. Deal with it. (=_=)

Land owners spill a bunch of money, work, and effort into the land they own. So, they're the ones who deserve the break when it comes to the spending of the resource they've earned. Each and every sim you visit is just that... A place you're visiting. You're the guest. With or without a gracious host, you're subject to being a welcome guest or shown the virtual door. Anything you say, do, appear to do, be, or appear to be; can and will be used against you. (^_^)

There is no "justice". Just like there is no "justice" for someone poorer than me deciding to take up camp in my garden shed. The same rule is extended to our little digital parcels placed here before us. (^_^)

At the same time... Don't drag the Lindens into your little pissing matches. The TOS/CS states quite clearly that Lindens won't get involved in resident disputes. If you're at a loss over what that means, think of it this way; Did the OTHER person violate the TOS/CS? If not, you're on your own. =^-^=

There are thousands of regions to see in SL. If you cant get to a dozen or so, who bloody cares? There's always somewhere else. And, if there's nowhere else, buy your own land and ban the world back. (^_^)y

I'm blogging from a prim. =^-^=

2010-02-23T17:44:00.001-08:00

Yes... A prim in Second Life is displaying the page that I'm typing into just as interactively as a generally good browser. It's updating in real time and the perspective angle is making me a bit dizzy. (O.o)

Just posting this 'cuz I can. =^-^=

A Response To: "Mainstream" Faculty and Virtual Worlds

2010-02-19T08:05:00.000-08:00

In a Strange Land: Some Thoughts About "Mainstream" Faculty and Virtual Worlds

Reading this article... It makes me wonder about something... I'm double posting my comment here just because I find it interesting. =^-^=

The conclusion I'm seeing: Educators are choosing to avoid using the Second Life virtual world as a platform due to the complexity of the interface. You're citing examples such as the 'Advanced' menu and scripting.

This sparks a question to me. Why do you think you have to go at it on your own?

So you can't script. This is true for many computer users. Yet, we run applications all day, every day, which were written by other people. The same market can and does exist in SL. Surely, it's not as corporate and 'professional' as Microsoft. But, if you can't script a slide-show projector; there is probably one available or you can contract a scriptor to make one for you. Building falls under this category, as well.

Also... The Advanced menu? Is there anything in there that's genuinely necessary? For regular day-to-day usage, I see nothing in the Advanced menu that serves a purpose. I would not weigh that feature in with any of the aspects of the learning curve of SL.

So, yes, there is a steep learning curve. But, I see that it's there because people are diving in head-first, reading a sliver of documentation, and expecting it to naturally just work without any experienced consultation.

I would compare this to hosting my own Email server. I simply don't know how. I've never set up an SMTP/POP server before. I don't know how to register a domain name. I'm not sure if I can gather up the hardware to build a computer I'd be willing to leave on 24/7 with suitable enough stability to manage any impending Email traffic.

So... What do I do? I find someone who knows how. In my personal life, I found Google's Email service to be quite nice. Professionally, I have an IT department hired to build, manage, and maintain a whole slew of online services. All I have to do is pay them to get it right and come to them with I'm faced with a problem.

SL is a bit deceptive this way. It's an Information Technology like any other, but, our mindsets think it's something far more natural. As a result, we unconsciously don't expect the process to by anything like adopting a technology.

I see a job description coming from this... Someone who has adapted to 'life' in a virtual world, knows the ins&outs, and can be relied upon on a professional basis to support productive use of the space. Just like the garage nerds of the 1980s... A new generation of marginalized nerd. The world doesn't see them yet, but, they're here now. Eventually, they'll come out of the woodwork, people will regret not investing in them sooner, and technological/cultural history will repeat itself all over again. (^_^)y

"Face" redux...

2010-02-13T08:27:00.000-08:00

I've had a conversation with my closest friend yesterday... In varying degrees. Both inworld and out. It sounds like the bulk ignore was her idea. She's a bit worried that I took the issue to the forums. She considers just about everything I do out here as some sort of self abuse. (>_<)

To me, the forums are the places I go to talk to people when there's nobody else to talk to. Given time zones and other peoples' busy lives, I turn here often. (._.)

She's very disappointed that I'm asking people to do the thinking for me... Moreso that I'm using people that don't all like me. She's worried that I'll focus on the negative messages and use them to further reinforce my "anti self" point of view. (>_<)

[2010/02/12 6:08] ** **: You need to learn not to over analyze your happiness
[2010/02/12 6:08] ** **: Otherwise you make things all crumbly

She has demanded that I request friendship from everyone again and gave me a few names to add on top of that. For the ones I've known to go online, I think they've all accepted. Still, I need to work out how to behave. (T_T)

It may be nice to have a collection of names on a friends list, but, how do I be a friend? I really don't know what part of spending time around me is a positive experience, so, the value of having me around is lost on me. It's this thinking that usually drives me to a panic. (>_<)

So, what I think I've done now is hit the 'reset' button on things. I'm afraid we'll enter another calm before another storm which will eventually lead to the same outcome all over again...

[2010/02/12 6:09] Imnotgoing Sideways: How does this stop?
[2010/02/12 6:10] Imnotgoing Sideways: How can i stop?
[2010/02/12 6:11] ** **: It's hard to say Immy
[2010/02/12 6:13] ** **: You need to believe in yourself a little more you know
[2010/02/12 6:13] Imnotgoing Sideways: That's extremely difficult.
[2010/02/12 6:14] ** **: Modesty is all due and well but you should recognize as ** put it somewhat, you're quite loved by the community
[2010/02/12 6:15] Imnotgoing Sideways: Why do I feel like it's unearned?
[2010/02/12 6:15] ** **: Because you're a bit like me
[2010/02/12 6:15] ** **: anything you do that others seem as "special" to you just feels "normal"

Anyway. Here I am. Loaded friends list again and working on re-working my profile again. I thank you all for the feedback. Please continue to say what's on your mind if you wish and forgive me for being so bold and obtuse about my stupid little drama. (T_T)

For me, right now, counseling is not an option. I'm sure the time, money, and insurance is there. I'm just not willing to take my life down the path of "professional intervention". Call me stupid for saying so. That's just where my mind is set. Excuse me for being hard headed. (>_<)

I'm still in a state of panic at this point. I don't know how to approach, act, behave, or present myself to people right now. I'm still over-analyzing my place in the scheme of things. I'm working this out. I'm trying. I want to be a friend to my friends. (._.)

'A face only a mother could love' syndrome

2010-02-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

It’s an old saying. “He/she has a face only a mother could love.” That is to say, the person is ugly, plain and simple. But, what does this say about the mother? Being a mother, she loves unconditionally. The ugly child is her child and hers alone. So, mother will sacrifice everything in order to love her child. Even if it means raising a person that looks like undercooked pizza. (>_<)

What am I talking about? I think I’m making an example of my friendships. (T_T)

I have a group of friends. People I’ve known for about two years. While everyone else has come and gone, they’ve stuck around. Here’s the part I’ve never understood, though... Why? (>_<)

Anyone who has seen me inworld or on the forums sees that I have all the charm of a badger with a lit firecracker up its butt. I’ve never been exceptionally creative or smart in any way. I’m very self-centered, normally forgetting things like rez days and even names. I rarely if not never give anything away. I never give gifts. Holiday or not. (>_<)

At the same time, I tend to distance myself from them. Not that I want to, I just see that my place and role is more that of the unseen spectator. My presence usually impedes conversation and activity. At the same time, my distance is creepy and annoying. But, I can’t just go away. I like being around them. (T_T)

It’s like catch-22 for me. (._.)

So, over the past month I’ve distanced myself again. The reaction this time has been a full blackout. They’ve all placed me on ignore in Gtalk. A few aren’t logging on when they know I’ll be on. Since I scrubbed them from my friends list as part of the process I don’t know when they’re on and they can’t find me. (._.)

Why did it turn out this way? I think I have an odd trust issue. When I don’t know people and they’re not blindly complimenting me, I feel like I can trust them to no end. But, as time goes by, I see people that stick around and I start to question their reasoning. Have they grown attached enough that they’ve become blind to my failings? Have I made it impossible for them to seek out other friendships? I begin to liken my relationship with people to that of a parasite. I wind up demanding too much attention from too few people. The only solution I see is: remove the infection. (>_<)

So, now, one or two of them ask when I’m willing to change and come back. I fear their reaching out to me is some sort of masochistic urge to re-enter the same old cycle again. I feel as though it’s not my place to interfere with their time inworld. But, catch-22 again, if I stay where I’m at they’re disrupted by my absence... If I return to friendship again they’re disrupted by my presence. But, like a mother, none of them will admit that I’m any kind of problem… Or at least they’re not telling it to my face. (T_T)

So, here I am, giving a handful of SL residents hell and no easy way out. I don’t see a positive outcome from any option I think I have. Should I go back, be a friend again, and restart the cycle? Should I maintain my limited distance which probably disrupts them just as much as my presence? Should I disappear completely and find new friends? Should I do something to seal a negative opinion of me so that they’re not bothered by my absence? Are they bothered by my absence at all? (>_<)

These are all nice people. I can’t assume they don’t have more friends. It would be very arrogant of me to assume that they depend on me for anything. At the same time, I like them. I don’t want to be alone but I also don’t want to be trouble. I don’t really have anything in common with them. At the same time, I’m interested in the things they do. I’m just too afraid to engage myself and generated fear in the others who are afraid of how I’ll react to every word they say. I can’t imagine them actually choosing to live with that. (T_T)

I want friends. But, it seems to me that I’m simply not meant to be around people. Should I accept the place I’ve been put in? Have I worn out my welcome? Is the mass-ignore pretty much the message I need to go away? Should I accept that I’ve gone too far? (._.)

Okay... Now what? (._.)

2010-02-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

I done did it. I got that Avatars United profile thing done. See? (^_^)

http://www.avatarsunited.com/avatars/imnotgoing-sideways

I have something like 130-or-so friends listed there... Some of them I actually know. (^_^)

I've shouted. (^_^)

I've joined groups. (^_^)

I've installed some gadgets. (^_^)

I've posted some pictures. (^_^)

I found out that search can only really find first names. (^_^)

... Now what? (O.o)

Interwebz behind a red curtain (._.)

2010-01-22T21:32:00.000-08:00

So… Here I am, RL, in China. Immy’s keyboard stabber is travelling on business and spending a couple weeks in Dongguan. It’s been fun and a bit crazy. Gotta love moving around for work. Interwebs in different places have different things. I remember Japan and what seemed like one WAY overloaded web. Viet Nam was quite surprising… webs were wide open, fast, and cheap. Australia was an adventure in monopoly… Then… China. (>_<)

Interwebs here are fast and reliable, but, boy are they locked down! (>_<)

Twitter, Youtube, Metacafe, bits and pieces of Google… Heck, even my own Blogspot site… All blocked. Searches are peppered with broken links. Logging to SL works, but, after a while packet loss starts to skyrocket. Especially if I start clicking links to blocked sites. And, so far, people been wanting to guineapig me by sending every possible blocked link they could imagine. (._.)

Still… What works, works. I’m able to VPN to my work compie in California to post this. I’m totally having fun here and I took a few pikkies. The weather’s all hazy, though. It’s hard to get contrast and detail when everything grey. (>_<)

Anyways, here I am and there you are. I’ll be back in my favorite time zone by the end of the week. It’ll be nice to have my 90% uncensored interwebs access back again. =^-^=

Darkly Cute - Now at the new Unreal Mall! =^-^=

2010-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

One of my neighbors in the Ferguson sim has put together a cute little mall on an estate sim. Kiki and the others already have shops and booths there and under the suggestion of a good friend, I decided to move in too. (^_^)

It's a really nice place with wonderful and simple textures. Rent is L$100 per week with a cap of 4 weeks rental at a time. I've already gotten some positive attention from the place, so, I'll be sticking around for a while. (^_^)

Check it out here http://slurl.com/secondlife/Unreal/80/21/23. (^_^)y

NEW @ Darkly Cute - Atchi - Unreal Avatar

2010-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

I totally took advantage of my extended weekend this week. Armed with some free time and my Wacom, I went and painted me an Unreal avatar. =^-^=

Using Ichgigo's freebie head sculpt and a bit of boredom, here we go! Atchi! Xd

The avatar includes a shape, skin, Unreal head, and a pair of my upcoming Unreal eye series. (^_^)

You can find it inside my cookie jar here at Darkly Cute. (^_^)y

Immy in Blue Mars (^_^)

2009-12-24T16:43:00.001-08:00

Oh... And if you want to get an idea of how I've set up my face in Blue Mars...

I know, it needs work. Teh cutenezz is a lifetime struggle. =^-^=

Immy ventures into Caledonia =^-^=

2009-12-24T09:12:00.001-08:00

As many people well know, Desmond Shang has expanded his steampunk empire into Blue Mars. He's surely confident that this market will see growth. (^_^)

From what I see, Blue Mars is still slated to be a place where content creators will be able to exercise some advanced tools in creating a virtual world and socializers will be able to enjoy the works. But, it lacks the gray area in between that Second Life has. (>_<)

So, this is the house that Desmond built. (^_^)

So far he's consistent. But, that's where my critique starts. In a way, he has succeeded in making Blue Mars look like Second Life. Now, I'm not sure if this good or bad thing yet. But, to me, it seems like he's under-utilizing the potential Blue Mars has. (>_<)

* Builds are still created with boxes that use textures to simulate depth.

* Plants and trees have a 'default' like appearance that do very little to break the monotony of the area.

* Most of the area resembles a shopping mall. There are plenty of potential rental suites around with no doors, open floor plans, and limited social centers in between.

It's great to see such an ambitious effort. Desmond is taking a risk he regrets NOT taking years ago in Second Life. Still, it doesn't make me any more confident in the platform. What exists so far is a huge investment of time and money with a very fuzzy future. (^_^)

About Blue Mars, itself... I'm still miffed at the forced window size I have to run in. Navigation is a chore. The "pretty" graphics fail to really impress. FPS and performance is far better than SL, I'll give them credit for that. And, without more people, there is zero incentive to use the service since all I've been able to do so far is walk around a static showcase. (=_=)y

I found one reason to complain about Windows7 -or- SpeedFan FTW!

2009-12-18T21:54:00.000-08:00

... Okay, it may have NOT been Win7's fault. But, from the day I did the install of the RTS version of Win7, I have been facing overheats. (>_<)

Having spent half a year in the RC version, this came as a surprise. I figured they were the same OS... Just a bit of cleanup and the RTS would come with a license that would last a relative lifetime instead of arbitrarily expiring after the candidate's duty cycle runs up. (^_^)

But, for some odd reason it kept cutting out on me! DX

It really looked heat related so I did the only thing a proper techie would do; I ran it with the case open and a room fan blowing into it. (=_=)

It was annoying, loud, and not a good solution. (=_=)

So, I installed Speedfan and checked things out. Gladly, my board is well documented and a lot of people have worked out how to get Speedfan to work with everything. I've been running the temperature and fan speed logs for about a week. (^_^)

Guess what I found? One of my CPU fans never changed speed. It always stayed at the base 1200 RPM. Why? (O.o)

Well... Digging into Speedfan's advanced settings, I made me a little discovery. =^-^=

PWM 2 mode = Auto on Remote 2 Temp!!! DX

The bloody thing was set to the wrong temperature sensor? What the heck caused that? I'm guessing it was something set around the time I installed Win7 RTS, but, I don't remember running anything that would affect low level motherboard settings like that. (=_=)

Either way... I was able to set it to "Auto on CPU Temp" and it's right back to normal now. SpeedFan FTW!!! \(^o^)/

The real question is, was it something in the Windows7 installer DVD that made this change? Oh, if it is, I sure do weep for anyone that runs the install and knows nothing about SpeedFan. (=_=)y

Little weekend adventures (^_^)

2009-12-07T07:46:00.001-08:00

I spent quite a bit of time touring this past weekend. In addition to my NCI visits, Infohub hopping, and meeting up with friends here and there; I took on some SLURLs to check some neat places out. (^_^)

First was a Twitter tweet from M Linden. He found a really slick light&art showcase. =^-^=

secondlife://Ball%20State%20University2/184/33/233

I got no real explanation of what I was entering, just an animated red line on the floor. I assumed I was to follow the red line and was treated to a self-guided walking tour of some fun and wild abstract animations. In some cases, I was walking directly through the exhibit. In others, I was experiencing them as displays on the walls. (^_^)

One problem though... It was my first time in Emerald.1101, so, I may re-visit in Cool Viewer... But, my FPS was taking a major hit there. Just about ever 4 or 5 seconds I'd get a two second freeze up. Could have been attributed to the glut of animated textures? The use of glow? I wasn't aware of any sound sources so the lag was a mystery to me. Once I TP'd home, things were fine. So... It was a beautiful place with just a slight detraction from the overall experience. (^_^)

Next up my best friend tossed me a TP to a place where she bought some body armor. (^_^)

secondlife://6pi/41/79/2

What started as a modest freestanding dock-like build became an epic underwater site starting with a fall down a single shaft. The typical haze that comes with being under water in SL adds greatly to the effects used in the builds all around. From mysterious glowing tubes, to abandoned missile holds, to a giant robotic creature peering at a bird in a glass beaker; the place was a visual feast. (^_^)

I usually adventure a lot, but, I haven't seen place like these in a long time. They really show the artistic potential that SL has beyond cube shaped stores with repetitive royalty free textures. A good artist can make a big difference in the SL experience and these two sims attest to that. (^_^)

All in all, a fun little weekend. =^-^=

Metropolis in Second Life (^_^)

2009-11-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

I got a group chat mention from a friend earlier today:

[01:25 PM] ** **: I found an interesting event - Metropolis - 1927 silent German expressionism science fiction film directed by Fritz Lang is showing in SL at 2pm
[01:25 PM] ** **: if you are interested in this - IM for a LM

At first, I expected a streaming video in a traditional theater, like setting. But, I was still interested. It ~is~ Metropolis, after all. (^_^)

What I landed in was something very different. (o.o)

The Metropolis scenes were all built upon a giant active stage, with scripted seating around. Instructions said to basically sit in a seat and let the camera scripts take over for the show. This was a very novel approach. Something I've never seen before. (^_^)

From the start, on... My screen was filled with each scene. The stage construction was all around. Events and animations were all being played in front of my constantly manipulated camera. Each angle, timed to the scene, along with music to match coming through the audio stream. It was machinima, but not captured to be played back later. Everything was done in real time, right there on the spot. (^_^)

Scenes and stages were dynamic. Changing form throughout the show. There were a handful of avatar actors used, each playing a character or two using props, animations, and even just walking around to make each scene. (^_^)

There were many times when even the audience was visible in the performance. While our cameras were being manipulated, our chairs were as well. Some of the larger crowd scenes seemed to even include the audience as sit-in extras to fill the scene with faces. Really, over all they put together a great use of resources.

I was left speechless with tears welling up in my eyes. Aghast at the virtual performance art I had just witnessed. The show lasted an hour. Not once was I drawn away from my screen. Speechless and breathless, I was just utterly amazed at what was being presented. (^_^)

After "The End" the music changed and we all got up for an after-the-show dance. Everyone was thankful for the show. The cast, crew, and builders were present to thank everyone for watching. Overall it was a great experience. (^_^)

METROPOLIS INFORMATION

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Benvolio/64/77/22

After an idea of Debbie Trilling to do a re-make of "METROPOLIS" the fist science fiction movie made in 1927 by Fritz Lang. Velazquez Bonetto and Josina Burgess started with working out this Idea to bring it to Second Life.

Velazquez Bonetto: rebuild the Whole Metropolis, wrote programms and scripts, situated every scenery at its place and brought new technology into SL .
Josina Burgess: created all the caracters, avatars, costumes and together they used Muybridge simulations for mass groups where needed.
Nnoiz Papp: wrote and composed the music specially for Metropolis.
Windyy Lane: build the upperclass scenery and made all the animations
Sca shilova: build the robot and the animations for it.

the actors are:
Debbie Trilling
MillaMilla Noel
Efrantirse Morane
Josina Burgess
Velazquez Bonetto

A Camera system is build in the seats where the audience will sit , also the seats, with audience in it, will fly around in Metropolis form scene to scene to be a "part" of the whole.

Its so far the biggest project ever done on SL, it took months of working, building,creating, rehearsing and animating.
The actors/avatars playing the key figures teleport from stage to stage and perform in between camera close-ups.

The whole Metropolis is a 1 hour breathtaking experience on SL, but not only on SL even in RL people will be able to watch this via You Tube as a new way of making a artistique event going beyond borders.

To give you an idea of the work that was put in to make this project work: some ïnside information..

=============================================
ON YOU TUBE:
1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYMbX8eVFpA
2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lbatbjBzQM
3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxdskP4lARM
4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbluzMOJcC4
5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWNTOa2fJuE
6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFLTPJE1DEs
7 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndnHnqvDh2k
8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7trCt49bJ8
9 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_P01cxeL5M
10 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8LUKwGB-ME
11 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wHNfj1okik
12 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2ShZHX64Q
13 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpD47LyfpVw

http://secondarts.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/carp-presents-metropolis-in-second-life/

CARP presents “Metropolis” in Second Life

Posted on April 19, 2009 by Morris Vig SECOND ARTS

I’ve been hearing that the CARP/Diabolous team responsible for the inworld tour de force of Pink Floyd’s The Wall was at it again, this time making an inworld version of Fritz Lang’s classic 1927 science fiction silent motion picture, Metropolis. Today, I finally got around to attending a performance.

[Side thought: It's like Josina Burgess, Debbie Trilling and their partners in the SL theatric arts at CARP know exactly what trips my artistic trigger. I love Pink Floyd and Roger Waters' work, hence my enjoyment of The Wall. In the Viggy collection of classic movie DVD's, Metropolis (even my crappy version of it) sits right alongside Citizen Kane and Casablanca. The history of the Metropolis movie is really something interesting, too...click here for more info on that. But I digress...]

My verdict (like mine is important…a debatable point)? CARP’s Metropolis is at least the peer of their version of The Wall, if not its superior. The subject matter for both stories is equally grand, and CARP uses Metropolis as an allegory for the state of the world much like they did with The Wall:

So we see Lang’s vision of the future…the everlasting difference of the rich and poor, the elite and the worker, the greedy people on the top and the suffering masses…very much alive today as now we see what greediness of the elite did to the world- economics and us, the people.

Today we are living a crisis that is maybe worse then the one just after the War.

The main message of Metropolis was that it gave a solution to Post-War Germany to attempt a Social Market.

This in fact is what Metropolis as a movie created at that time. And this was exactly 60 years ago!

Are we powerless and resigned ?

Or do we change this future?

Do we change our own Metropolis?

With that as foreshadowing….there’s MUCH more after the fold, including a 100-plus piece slideshow to document this visual treat…

Technically, you have to start with the theatrical set. This is a dense build that minimizes the use of prims (perhaps CARP needs to be in a double-prim sim like those in Bay City and Nautilus!) and maximizes the use of textures to achieve the dramatic effect. As you will see below, the textures are both rich and grand. They also use textures as a means to demonstrate masses of characters – the chorus, if you will – and accomplishes this with impressive effect. How to ensure that the many, many textures load in a reasonable amount of time in a full sim? Easy – they took the first six minutes of the show to display credits and literally pre-load the entire pack of textures used in the show. Genius.

This compact build also allows for attendees to sit in custom-scripted seating and be “physically” (this is a virtual world, so it can’t be physical,but hopefully you get my meaning) moved from scene to scene. The seating also is a marvel – three sets of seats, flying around the set like a choreographed guided tour of the property. Viewers also place themselves at the mercy of the flying seats – no need to use flycams or mouseview…just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Lastly, the one thing you can’t see in the slideshow below: Music. The score for this show is really strong. It’s electronic in nature and complements the show quite well…just like the textures, the animations, the costumes…

So here’s the slideshow. It’s quite a show, all 60 minutes of it. And, like The Wall, the Metropolis company invites the attendees down to the floor to celebrate the show once it’s done. Can’t beat that!

==========================================
http://www.flickr.com/photos/22475787@N04/sets/72157615929909533/

Helfe Ihnen (leader of the odyssey art)
posted in flickr 28 mar. 2009
Metropolis is a 'must see' in SL!
What the team has made is absolutely stunning and at the top level of what is possible in SL. On the other hand you see sometimes what is missing in SL in technical and esthetical possibilities. Acting seems to stay very difficuilt.

Information by the team:

After an idea of Debbie Trillling to do a re-make of METROPOLIS the fist science fiction movie made in 1927 by Fritz Lang, Velazquez Bonetto and Josina Burgess started with working out this Idea to bring it to Second Life.

Velazquez Bonetto rebuild the Whole Metropolis, wrote programms and scripts, situated every scenery at its place and brought new technology into SL .
Josina Burgess created all the caracters, avatars, costumes and together they used Muybridge simulations for mass groups where needed.
Nnoiz Papp wrote and composed the music specially for Metropolis.
Windyy Lane build the upperclass scenery and made all the animations
Sca shilova build the robot and the animations for it.

the actors are:
Debbie Trilling
MillaMilla Noel
Efrantirse Morane
Josina Burgess
Velazquez Bonetto

A Camera system is build in the seats where the audience will sit , also the seats, with audience in it, will fly around in Metropolis form scene to scene to be a "part" of the whole.

Its so far the biggest project ever done on SL, it took months of working, building,creating, rehearsing and animating.
The actors/avatars playing the key figures teleport from stage to stage and perform in between camera close-ups.

The whole Metropolis is a 1 hour breathtaking experience on SL, but not only on SL even in RL people will be able to watch this via You Tube as a new way of making a artistique event going beyond borders.

I strongly recommend searching for it in events and going to watch it for yourself. (^_^)y

Another one to look at (^_^)

2009-11-28T08:40:00.000-08:00

I just got word of this site from an SLU thread. (^_^)

http://www.cariama.com/marketplace.php

Their basis seems to be that they offer services on multiple grids and don't charge a commission fee. I'm yet to read their FAQ to see what their business model is, but, here's another on to take a peek at while moving away from XstreetSL. (^_^)y

Freebies or theft: Lesser of two Xstreet evils?

2009-11-27T22:42:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine was shopping for a specific hair style. She hops around the stores, checks out the blogs, and takes a peek at XstreetSL. All happy things. (^_^)

... Until she runs into a hair with one maker name as the creator and another maker's name in the description. (=_=)
https://xstreetsl.com/modules.php?name=Marketplace&file=item&ItemID=1882815

Wonderful! This seller can sell Sirena hair! \(^o^)/

That's not all...

https://xstreetsl.com/modules.php?name=Marketplace&file=item&ItemID=1890286

ETD, as well. How do I know? (^_^)

It's one of my most commonly worn hair styles. Practically the first one I ever bought when I started working out my style in SL. (^_^)

I put up a mention in SLU. What do I get? First response...

https://xstreetsl.com/modules.php?name=Marketplace&file=item&ItemID=1955982

A link to some bold sonova**** who blatantly puts "Redgrave" in the item description, as if to PROVE it's stolen. Well.. Probably to draw attention to the product so that it will sell faster. I mean, what better way to sell stolen Redgrave boots than to list your stolen boots under the search term "Redgrave", no? (^_^)

So, this is the XstreetSL that Linden Lab gives us. An outlet that's being rid of the "freebie clutter" to make room for perfectly honest copybot thieves who price their items accordingly so that they break minimum commission and are assured sales since they're undercutting their competition by hundreds of L$. Of course... Don't go and say that their competition is the exact maker they're stealing from. That would require Linden Lab to, you know, take action? (=_=)

Bleagh! DX

I haz a grumpy nao. (>.<)

Send this to every friend that you have online*

2009-11-27T15:39:00.000-08:00

*if you don't mind being berated by half of them for spamming chain mail via notecards in SL. (=_=)

Yes, I'm starting to see these. The chain mail pandemic has gone from snail mail, to fax machines, to Email, to..... Yes.... SL!!!! DX

I'm getting notecards here and there from people with the same old - same old. [Insert sweet and sappy message here]... and send this out to 4, 7, 42 or your friends. (^_^)

I accept, the messages are sweet and inspirational, as they've always been. I'm sure the early chain letters keep the post office in business for quite a while. When they went to Email things got a bit too easy and the inherit logarithmic growth of a single message was practically enough to choke a server. Go to any Email admin and ask, "Hey, did you get that letter about the angels?" and run, run for your life. (^_^)

Now, they're in SL... In notecard form, no less. Hereby adding undue stress to the already overstressed asset cluster. They have the same potential for logarithmic growth, if not moreso due to the drag and drop ease that comes with inventory offers. Add to that, they contain a bit of emotional blackmail. (=_=)

Send this to every friend that you have on-line,
including the person who sent it to you.

0 Replies - you may need to work on your 'people skills'
2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
4 Replies - you have picked your friends well!
6 Replies - you are downright popular
8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome
(and that's probably why you're on MY list)

Sorry... I'm not going to manage my "people skills" on the handling of a bulk message notecard. (=_=)

Send this to every friend that you have online*

Where I went (^_^)

2009-11-26T18:03:00.000-08:00

Since Xstreet has gone the way of Wal Mart, I have since pulled out and focused on other things. Mind you, Xstreet sales almost never made anything for me. I see myself as a cottage industry. I make a couple styles of glasses, a few more styles of doll keys with my own scripting, and a nose piercing. I'm not a heavy full-time content creator. (^_^)

So... With that, I don't really sell much. My main store pulls in about L$1200 per month, I had a mall location in LicoLico that was more of a landmark provider to my main store and cost me L$600 per month. And, Xstreet was my publicity engine where I was lucky to make L$25 per month. (^_^)

In the end, I'd usually walk away with L$625 per month. My stipend alone beats that to the ground. (=_=)

So, what to do? I still want a publicity engine. I still want a website. As Kyrah mentioned in a comment to one of my prior posts, there were currently 4 other options:

http://slapt.me/

http://apez.biz/

http://meta-life.net/

http://metaverseexchange.com/

From the looks of things, they're all good choices. Slapt and Meta-Life have the nicer looking web pages. I found Apez to be too dark and MetaverseEx resembling a site from the early '90s. So, as a publicity engine, I was biased toward the pretties. (^_^)

Slapt seems to be having some back-end drama. I'm seeing a friend on Twitter mentioning that he was dropped as a group admin so that gives me the feeling that they're still going through growing pains. (>_<)

So, what I was left with was Meta-life... And, that's who I've set up so far. (^_^)

http://meta-life.net/second-life/marketplace?merchant=Imnotgoing-Sideways

So... For now, I have my little butt planted on Meta-Life. Actually, taking a look at things, I've already made a sale! \(^o^)/

Setting up on the site was pretty easy. I like the method of getting a password from an inworld object. That just makes for one less thing for me to think about. Listing items was considerably trouble free. So far, I like it. I'm going to tinker a bit with the vendor system... It'll take some prim cutting on my part to do so, but, I can do it. (^_^)

I still have to look into the other sites, but, for pretty and publicity it looks like Meta-Life is a good choice. (^_^)y

Immy - from the little one, up. (^_^)

2009-11-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

I started SL as a kid AV. It was my "me". It was mostly based off of a freebie "loli" avatar that I found in a freebie box when the first thing I searced for in SL was "Kawaii". I was a funky little crud. First without prim hair, then eventually upgrading to hair, shoes, and such. (^_^)

Rez Day Immy - November 2008 (2007 avatar)

Then, I got tall. TOO tall. My interests started to shift to less-than-child-ish things and I needed to sprout up a bit to appropriately explore them. I had a shape that I made for sale one. It was a bit over 6 feet tall. And, it had quite a few of the commonly recognizable features of any of the shapes I've made. I can't say I was ever comfortable in that shape. Sure, attachments were easy. I finally had boobs, so, clothing with shaders were no longer a problem. It just wasn't "me" and it took far too much psychological adjustment for me to stay in that shape. (>_<)

Big Immy - April 2008

I was reeeeealy flaky about my avatar back then. On one hand, I was Little Immy... The epic trouble making brat, "Look out below!", frigg'n tempest in a teacup worth of mischief. On the other, I was Tall Immy... Getting involved in D/s relationships, actively roleplaying in CoLA, I was even partnered and had a dollie/sub for a while. I was a bloody shapeshifter!!! (>.<) So... I had this toggle between a puggy little brat and SRS-BZNS hightower. It was getting tough to manage. Scripted collars when I'm up, unscripted when I'm down. I'd have to ask friends about the environment they were in before TPing me. Things were far too black and white and I found my self being diluted by an ever changing persona. (>_<) I wanted a cool medium, so, I went to work on a new shape. I wanted the physical maturity of my adult shape combined with the bratty sass of my little. I wanted to establish my own brand of cuteness and terror. I wanted my "me" to be me 100%. (^_^)

Robo Immy - September 2008

After getting a lucky chair prize of a cyberdoll avatar, I started getting to work on a smaller, yet, mature shape for myself. When I got done with the face, I was almost frightened how consistent it was with my originals. I really never went back to reference, the face wound up being a reflex. Honestly, it has gone unchanged for at least a year by now. There was just something golden about it. (^_^)

I was still floaty about my shapes for a while but started frequenting my mid shape after a few months passed. It wasn't too hard to adjust attachments for, looked great in many different outfits, and was my most comfortable form, to date. (^_^)

I still spent a lot of time experimenting. I used custom skins I made using Eloh's Re templates. I was making a lot of "okay" but rarely any "good". I'd spring back and forth to my little and tall shapes some more. I'd tinker with demo skins. I was finding my self constantly dealing with a look that was just not right. (T_T)

Glass Gearz - March 2009

Then Eloh came out with her Pleaides skins. They were great. They had tons of great shading. Really, wonderful looking skins. But, I ran into issues with the nose, eyebrows, and breast shading that I just couldn't work with. In the end I only made a couple doll skins out of them, including what I consider my masterpiece, Glass Gearz. Surely, I have not found my "me" yet. (._.)

Not long after, Eloh comes out with Starlight skins... With the old and new nose and many more workable layers! XD

IMMY!!! - August 2009

Since then, I've been settling in. I really have found myself at home with my shape. While I have run into a few prim outfits that just won't fit, in general, my current shape and skin is Immy defined. (^_^)

Even better, I've found a really killer store called Danika that sells outfits that fit me perfectly in one shot! I've been able to go there, buy an outfit, and walk out of the store with it on and no adjustments needed. So, not only have I come up with a good to-scale avatar... I'm seeing that others are too and we're becoming a marketable group. =^-^=

Immy - November 2009

Anatomy of an Immy. =^-^=

2009-11-24T14:11:00.000-08:00

I've been LOLing lately at all the places where I'm seeing my name used as though I'm a beast of lore. "Imnot" here, "ING" there, "Immy" everywhere. It's like watching a bunch of wrinkly curmudgeons telling stories about Bigfoot, Nessie, Jaws, or whatever. It's silly. (^_^)

Anyway... My blog, my rules. Let's talk about me. I'm so vain. =^-^=

Little Immy - March 2008

I started SL as a kid AV. Quite antisocial, in fact. One thing I sure as heck didn't want was to be in the virtual gene pool of the online dating/sex scene. Making myself a creepy little crud really helped work that out... To a limit. (O.o)

I STILL ran into people who would IM me with less than savory requests. And, I was all like "Woah! Dude! DX" most of the time. So, back then, I spelled it out in my profile. I introduced myself, left a messages telling people to NOT IM me with sexual requests, even threatening to shout them to open chat. Finally closing my profile with "Please call me 'Immy' so that I know you've read my profile. (^_^)". Not bad, no? No only an indicator that I got my preemptive message across, but, a nickname was born. =^-^=

So, yes, for quite a while I was a kid avatar. It was fun. Though, I was quite imp-ish and sometimes very un-kid-like most of the time. I was mostly floating between trying pass as a kid, a vampire, a loli-imp, a neko, or whatever my mindset was at the time. Regardless, no matter what I was, I was "me". (^_^)

I've since sprouted up and gone adult now. Along this whole time I've been a regular at the Hanja Welcome area, Waterhead, NCI, and various other places. I like to diversify. I hop around from PG sandboxes to Adult dollification sims and everything in between. (^_^)

One thing that's been consistent to my nature is helping. I was always the kid in class who would put things down to help someone else reach a better understanding of what they are trying to accomplish. So, it's only natural that I become a helper. It started when I found a pile of green dots on the map in a PG sim. I dove in to find this funny little place called New Citizens Inc. One of my Hanja friends was there, so I said "Hi" and chatted up the place for a while. Over time, I got to better know people and even ran into the first person to ever chat with me in SL... An active NCI officer at the time who I had shoo'd away because I wasn't really chatting with anyone back then. (>_<)

Anyway... The group was fun and I became a regular. I started getting used to the idea of being able to build and script on the land. I started entering contests. I started having serious fun. Over time, through what I hope was merit of my actions, I was assigned the role of a helper. (^_^)

I really enjoyed it. Helping comes naturally to me. It's how I get my thrill. I can't really explain it. I guess it's the pride. I like the feeling I get when I've given a person one more thing than they didn't know before. I won't even say I'm generous. I can't say that generosity is my motivation. It's just the thrill of spreading information. I'm an information glut and a showoff, so, I like to spout all day about information I have. (^_^)

At one point, I was finally past my minimum time required to sign up for Second Life Mentors and I dove in to it. The application process took a long time and the meetings, shadowing, and final acceptance was very rewarding. Again, this gave me more opportunity to help. I really didn't have to change any habits and I rarely wore the tag, but, it was nice to have the extra resources available at my disposal. Mentor group chat was a great place to take baffling questions. Access to Help Island was a fun way to pass the time assisting people for their first minutes inworld. It was a blast. =^-^=

Between infohubs, NCI, and Help Island, I sure as heck had a full plate and it was full of things I liked. In between and intermingled with my duties, I had my friends. From the Welcome are mobs, to the drones at The Doll Works, to the nutcase /b/tards of Woodbury, to my own close and personal friends... SL always had something to offer for my time spent inworld. (^_^)

Then I faced a griefing. To me, THIS was a genuine griefing. Not silly cubes and particles. I got falsely Abuse Reported by a W-hat goon for (Sexual)ageplay. Mind you, I was in a PG (adult robot) avatar, on PG land, in a PG event, and building a PG project for the event. What part of anything I was doing had a chance of being misconstrued as (sexual)ageplay, I'll never know. (>_<)

Aparently, neither will Linden Lab. After filing a ticket on the suspension, I got a response clearning my record of the event and apologising for the error. That was a good thing. (^_^) In the process, I was able to point out the events that lead up to my AR and even the presumed name of the avatar that reported me. From that, the NCI community and senior land officer offered me the opportunity to become a Land Officer of the group. I accepted the poisition and continued to do my best to keep the sandboxes clean and safe. At the same time, making a mess of my own, much to the pleasure of the crowd of regulars. (^_^)

To date, that's what I continue to be. SL is supposed to be fun and I'm finding all of my facets of fun in different places all over SL. While I will be losing my Mentor tag in just a couple weeks, I will still mentor on my own terms. The existing fringe mentor chat groups are still fine resources for information and NCI still remains the number one location and group for getting exactly what you need to adjust to this funny little virtual world. (^_^)y

Alternatives to XstreetSL

2009-11-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

Just read Kyra's comment on my prior post where she included 4 website names. Thanks for that. (^_^)

Just to give them more visibility, I'll add web links here. =^-^=

http://slapt.me/

http://apez.biz/

http://meta-life.net/

http://metaverseexchange.com/

I plan on visiting each one (Plus any others added in comments *hint hint*) to see which one I'm gonna plop my little cookie jar on. =^-^=

Doubleblow! XstreetSL this time. DX

2009-11-18T15:09:00.000-08:00

Okay... Not only is the Mentor group being shut down. Now XstreetSL is going to charge fees for item listings below certain price thresholds. (=_=)

Second Life Blogs

Freebie listing fee = L$99 per month. (=_=)

Non-freebie listing fee = L$10 per month. (=_=)

Minimum commission on non-freebies = L$3. (=_=)

So... The hopeless cottage industry seller has no place here. Honestly, I've made little to no money from listing my items on Xstreet. I put my freebies up there and they move like hotcakes. Really, the one place I've had the best sales experience is my own little inworld 510M parcel, which is paid for by my annual premium membership. (^_^)

Really. I see no need to rely on XstreetSL any more. Once I get home, I'm pulling all my listings and tossing my bloody magic box. I've heard my unwelcome and accept it. (=_=)y

Coming soon: Mentorless Second Life

2009-11-18T12:32:00.000-08:00

A rarely seen tag on me, that will soon be seen no more. (._.)

Second Life Blogs

As of December 11, 2009 Linden Lab will be disbanding the Second Life Mentors group. As a result, residents will be losing a resource that's long been available to the volunteer community and new residents' introduction to SL will never be the same again. (T_T)

For me, it was not about the tag. Anyone who knows me or has seen me knows quite clearly that I rarely if not never wore the thing. What I did do, though, is give my time and use the resources available to my fullest. I frequented infohubs, welcome areas, volunteer regions, and the numerous Help Islands which were restricted to new-resident and Mentor access. It was a fun ride. I met a few friends along the way, Mentor and new rez the same. And, now one facet of that is being taken away. (T_T)

Linden Lab allowed me to be who I am and do what I do best. For that, I thank them for the opportunity. In this turn of events, I will be keeping a critical eye on them. They say they want to improve the New User Experience. All I can say is, I'll wait and see. (=_=)

And... Of course... If a new volunteer program comes along; I will be right there at the signups and offering my time and talent to this wild and wooly virtual world. (^_^)y

You ask, I deliver (^_^)y

2009-11-18T08:46:00.000-08:00

o explain why he instigated an incident with Alisha Matova such as to make her feel she had to break off a friendship with me -- I have absolutely no reason to doubt this former friend in her explanation of why she was breaking off a friendship with me, and it was definitely over Ing

I believe I’ll let Alisha speak for herself here. Actually, looks like she already has. Check her out in your own blog’s responses. (^_^)

o explain why he made a picture of a child avatar with a ball gag -- and then removed it from sluniverse.com after it was exposed on my blog

To start; that’s not my child avatar. I did not purchase the shape or skin from any child AV store. Both are of my own making. The shape started from a “Ruth” base and the skin was recently updated when Eloh put out a very beautiful collection of skin templates called “Starlight”. Unlike the Frankenslut Boobzilla avatars that lurk the SL grid, I have chosen a more believable and natural shape. That’s all. Enjoy your 7-foot-tall avatar, I don’t care. (^_^)y

As for my picture; You’re doing it wrong. It’s not removed. The only times I’ve deleted photos from my Snapzilla collection is when I’ve accidentally sent shopping shots meant for a friend... Usually asking for hair and style advice or pointing out things she’d like. Beyond that, the only person that would be deleting pictures from my collection would be Christiano(sp?) and my guess is that he would contact me if he were to do so. (^_^)

o explain why he can't leave Woodbury after seeing the voluminous amounts of documentation that shows it is a griefing group - -and not only of me, but lots of other people

I never said “Can’t”. I said “won’t”. So far, the documentation I find show that Voted5 and PN are genuine griefing organizations, mainly because they can’t maintain a presence in SL with any duration beyond a single event. As for Woodbury; the group is an interesting beast. It’s easy to hate because of the *chan references but, for me, that’s the reason to embrace it. (^_^)

I like random and WU is random. There is no leadership, no control, but the SL technical model on groups forces a means of ownership and moderation. Internally, the group laughs at itself just as much as it laughs at the excessive seriousness of the world around us. Nobody is safe from a good bashing, particularly the owners and officers. Group chat is a scream and a good mental break from the day-to-day hum-drum. (^_^)

Of course, Prokofy, your idea of a griefing can be the simple act of saying “Hello” with the wrong name over my head. I’ll tell you this; we have shared perfectly civil conversations in the past. And, actually, I think you and I get along. Just... On another account. I won’t say who. You and I have a good thing going. =^-^=

o explain why he needs to keep coming to Ross, when there are plenty of other infohubs to practice his *cough* newbie-helping

I’ve been keeping up with the alt-client voting board. It’s really an interesting issue. On one part, these people are doing a better job than Linden Lab in regards to delivering a fully functioning and debugged client. On the other, without a deep understanding of what changes were made, I don’t know what the client would do to my account. Ruin my inventory? Send my password to a database in Egypt? Sap my account of L$1 per day? (^_^)

I’d like to turn the question around. Why restrict a potentially productive helper from volunteering time in a Linden infohub? If you want it to be private property in which you wholly manage, why hand it over to the Lindens? Or is it that you just wanted the cut in tier and free advertisement for your mall? Because, considering the way I observed you behaving, the last thing you want the Ross infohub to be is a welcoming portal for new residents in SL. (^_^)

I say, rescind the infohub status of your Ross shopping mall and push to promote Desmond’s Oxbridge University in Caledon. They’re doing an excellent job over there. (^_^)

o explain why he thinks that putting comments on his profile about "little nakie one" and such isn't edgecasing and provocative when it's clear that it's designed to skate under the radar

Easy; I’m shorter than about 75% of the people I know... Unless I’m in heels. So, “Little”. And, I’m usually in skimpy clothing. It’s one of my claims to fame. Nakie FTW! \(^o^)/

Though... The last time we met, I was far from nakie... Had the cool new Katat0nik dress on. Only L$20 and it matched my old red boots. (^_^)

o provide the text of the letter supposedly given to him by LL with the "apology".

Hi there,
Linden Lab has reviewed, at your request, a discipline action recently taken against your account.
Our investigation shows that the discipline may have been applied in error; we apologize for the mistake. We have also noted the correction in our records for your account.
If any further information is required, Linden Lab will contact you regarding this incident. Otherwise, please consider the matter resolved as no further communications will be sent.
Best wishes, and again, our apologies,
Linden Lab and the Second Life Community team

Ticket Information: Ticket #:4051-5305285 Date Created:9/28/2008 8:47 PM PDT

o confirm or deny that he was at SLCC (he claims he wasn't, but yet there is a claim that he was)

I did not physically leave my house the entire weekend. My family is strongly against any of my SL friendships turning into RL meetups. There are a lot of creeps out there. (^_^)

o explain, after being banned twice from events because clearly they were griefed by Woobury, and after smirking and writing "Sorries that was short" with neko smilies that made it abundantly obvious that he knew what he was doing, why he would come back *again* to Ross for yet ANOTHER event when he was clearly unwanted and just seeking to annoy and make trouble.

Actually... I said “That was brief”. It’s a common statement of mine. I use it typically when a conversation goes no further than “Hello”. I say it most often when a new resident asks a question and doesn’t let more than 5 seconds pass and simply tromps off or TPs away... Or, in your case, bans my butt before I get a chance to say “Nice place you got here”. (=_=)

I don’t remember any WU members being around for any of the times I visited. My Mystitool radar didn’t show anyone I knew within chat range. So, this whole “clearly griefed” isn’t all that clear to me. (=_=)

As for the smilies; They’re a habit. There’s something missing from text chat that I like to inject in my own words and I think smilies express them well. Since I’m a fast typist, the minor delay that comes with typing five to seven extra characters isn’t a burden to me. So, I do it. Just a bit of fun, you know? (^_^)

(^_^) << Regular happy, casual.
(^_^)y << Peace (usually when I’ve finished a multiline message.
=^-^= << I’m being “catty”.
(>_<) << Grimace... I’m either a bit frustrated or fearing a frying pan upon my head for what I just said.
(T_T) << Cry... Moody Immy is moody. Sometimes happycry though.
(O.o) (o.O) << Erm... LOLWUT?
(o.o) << A state of enlightenment... Sort of when I’m like “Ooooh.. Didn’t know that before”.

There’s more, I’m lazy. But I’m sure y’all can catch the patterns by now. (^_^)

As for my return trip to Ross; I’ll admit, I’m a bit bitter over my continued ban from the NCI infonode. You really do have a nice looking place there. I mean it no harm and intended to sporadically volunteer there just as I do with all other infohubs and welcome areas. I will not let your selfish hostility over me prevent that. That’s all. (^_^)

So... Did I address your questions and concerns with enough information? (^_^)

Want more? Feel free to ask. (^_^)

Want to know where I am and what I’m doing? Feel free to offer friendship. Heck, you can block me from seeing your online status, I don’t care. I give map. (^_^)

Want to keep spinning your little personal grudge to the point you’re the laughing stock of SL? Well.... Keep up the good work. (^_^)y

"Scrubbing"? (O.o)

2009-11-18T06:03:00.000-08:00

Erm...

"He has removed the ball-gag picture and other offensive pictures off SLuniverse.com" - Prokofy Neva.

How is this removed? (O.o)

Blimey, people! Can't y'all say ONE honest word about me? (=_=)

It's bad enough you're slandering me, but, your integrity goes down the hole when you put such a sad effort into stalking me that 90% of the potentially supporting information you present is flat out false. (=_=)

I'm still laughing at the concept that I live in the UK and attended the SLCC RL meetings. I mean... WOW~! Talk about being miles off course. (^_^)

The "ING" thing. (O.o)

2009-11-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

Okay.. Who started this? (O.o)

I know I have a freakish SL name. I was ticked off on the day I made it. (=_=)

At first, I signed up to SL a while back and was really disappointed in the graphics. That orange gradient "sunset" was just an eyesore. That, on top of a few other issues, made me give up on SL. (>_<)

Then come November of 2007 and an article about SL getting linked on 7chan. In a little web hunting, I got a peek at this new "Windlight" thing that was coming out for SL. NOW they got my attention. Pretty skies, ripply water, believable lighting models. Okay, time to sign back in to SL and take a look around. =^-^=

But, bloody no! I FORGOT MY PASSWORD!!! DX

Okay... Make a new account... Names... Names... Names... "Sideways" Heh... Stupid name. =^-^=

"Imnotgoing"... Even more stupid! XD [Register]... And NOT taken!!! XD

Okay... So my avatar's name is Imnotgoing Sideways. That's not a name at all. I'm new to SL but not quite. I have this big wonky name. People ask me over and over how to shorten it. So, I made up "Immy". Sounds cute, no? Back when I was a kid AV, I laid down some rules about NOT IMing me for teh sexxorz and such. At the tail end of my profile, I left the note "Please, call me 'Immy' so I know you read my profile". That was a nice way for people to alert me that they got the message. (^_^)

As time passed, the name stuck. It's cute, short, and easy to spell. So, that's my nickname. (^_^)y

But... Now, according to Prok, "they" call me ING. Is this a reflection of friends that have been contacted? His friends or mine? It's funny. Even within the comments it sounds like this "ING" character is some beast of lore. Like, don't say her name three times while standing in between two mirrors or your room will fill with haunted dollies, or something. Am I such a mystery? Really, the only reason anyone wouldn't know something about me would simply be because they haven't asked. (^_^)

I'm THAT easy. If you friend me, I give map access 100%. I don't mute. If you ask and show you care, I tell. Some people who contact me are surprised that I respond... As if I have something to fear. Some people actually seem to fear me. Believe me. I'm not THAT significant. I think I deserve far more unimportance. Y'all are crazy. (^_^)y

Lies protected by comment moderation

2009-11-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

"The fact that there are no comments on this particular blog astound and concern me. Here we have an adult pushing the limits of child sexuality. Is that ok??. So, they get permission for bondage. Cool! What's next on the agenda? Come on people speak out. This is a paedophile hiding behind the TOS." - Paddy Wright

Prokky's blog on me =^-^=

Paddy. There's an easy explanation for that. I've received one or two IMs from people telling me that they attempted to refute Prokofy's words about me only to have their comments summarily deleted. So, it's my speculation that Prokofy is not only attempting to spread lies about me. But, he's stifling any form of dispute against his lies. (=_=)

I am not a criminal.
I am not a pedophile.
I am not a (sexual)ageplayer.
I put away my kid avatar not long after I was seriously griefed by a W-hat goon.
The avatar I wear is that of an adult; 5'1" in flat shoes, C-cup breasts, and 18 years old in character.

Unlike Prokofy, I am leaving my blog comments open to everyone and will not censor any response. I do not fear dispute because I'm not lying. Whereas, I see quite clearly that Prokofy does because he is. (=_=)

Feel free to leave comments, contact me inworld, or for a real laugh, offer me friendship. I give map access to everyone. I don't do anything that would compromise myself as a person or an avatar. (^_^)y

Among many other lies...

2009-11-14T17:37:00.000-08:00

And lies, they are... Uh...

Blog post with far too long of a URL

... Since when did I attend SLCC and live in the UK? (O.o)

Adventures in "disruption" =^-^=

2009-11-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

[08:38 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Prokofy Neva (17m)
[08:38 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Easy way to get for it... Use the search bar at the top of your inventory... Put in the word "(Worn)" with the parenthesis. (^_^)
[08:38 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: That way, you'll locate any items you have on your avatar. (^_^)
[08:38 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Ah.. There goes the green shirt... that may have been the one you wanted. (^_^)
[08:39 PM] M C : hmmm
[08:39 PM] M C : soo uhhh....where u from?
[08:39 PM] M C : lol
[08:39 PM] M C : joking
[08:39 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Heh. (^_^)
[08:40 PM] M C : i cant find it
[08:40 PM] M C : the shirt to take it off
[08:40 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Hmmm... I think it should have moved a copy from the Library to your main inventory. (O.o)
[08:40 PM] M C : the one you see right now?
[08:41 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Yeah.. You're back in the gray shirt. (^_^)
[08:41 PM] M C : yeah
[08:41 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Now.. Look into your "My Inventory >> Clothing" and see if you have a new shirt in there. (^_^)
[08:41 PM] M C : im trying to go shirtless for a second so i can put on a different one
[08:41 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways eeps. (o.o)
[08:41 PM] M C : i have one extra shirt
[08:41 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Okay.. Put that one on. (^_^)
[08:42 PM] M C : it doesnt shoe me
[08:42 PM] M C : show*
[08:42 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Hmmm... (=_=)
[08:42 PM] M C : it is under the grey one
[08:42 PM] Oh Snap! -- Picture Cork Board (Wall Edition) whispers: Board has been cleared and reset by owner request.
[08:42 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: (Owner: Prokofy Neva) [Obj. Name: Oh Snap! -- Picture Cork Board (Wall Edition)]: Board has been cleared and reset by owner request.
[08:42 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Aha.. Okay. (^_^)
[08:42 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: You should be able to right click it and select "wear". (^_^)
[08:42 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Konnichiwa (^_^)
[08:43 PM] Desmond Shang is Online
[08:43 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Murmini Writer (19m)
[08:43 PM] M C : yeah
[08:43 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: After that, you should be able to right click the old shirt and select "Take Off". (^_^)
[08:43 PM] M C : i seen something happen but i cant find the other shirt to take off
[08:44 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: There is a search bar on the top of your inventory window... If you enter "(Worn" in there, it'll find the items you have on. (^_^)
[08:44 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: It acts like a filter. (^_^)
[08:44 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: The parenthesis is important, though. (^_^)
[08:44 PM] M C : yeah i just tried that and it only showsas one shirt on
[08:44 PM] M C : shows*
[08:45 PM] M C : i remove it and it still is on
[08:45 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Right.. That's the one you're wearing... Odds are, you haven't worn the other shirt yet. (^_^)
[08:45 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Hmmmm. Lag? (O.o)
[08:45 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Maybe lag.... if you've done it already... Second Life™ can be wonky sometimes. (>_<)
[08:46 PM] M C : did you get my friend request?
[08:47 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Adventures in Inventory... They sure didn't make it easy, did they? (T_T)
[08:47 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Hmmm.. I didn't... Odd... Lemmee. (^_^)
[08:47 PM] M C : no they didnt
[08:47 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Did that get through? (^_^)
[08:47 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Aha! Xd
[08:47 PM] M C : yeap
[08:47 PM] M C : so can i ask ur age?
[08:47 PM] M C : im 24
[08:48 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Yet another thing I don't tell. =^-^=
[08:48 PM] M C : thought so
[08:48 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: I'm silly that way. (^_^)
[08:48 PM] M C : thats respectable
[08:48 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Heh.. Probably. (^_^)
[08:48 PM] Prokofy Neva: Imnotgoing Sideways is playing a creepy child avatar. She's actually been banned from this entire area but it's not possible to ban from this public place so I'll just try an abuse report for the child get up with the BDSM collar.
[08:49 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Naw... This is my adult avatar. (^_^)
[08:49 PM] Prokofy Neva: Likely the Lindens will say this is politically correct, but it's worth publicizing as ugly and annoying anyway.
[08:49 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Annjella Allen (15m)
[08:49 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Robot, actually. (^_^)
[08:49 PM] Prokofy Neva: yeah, one would hate to see the child avatars she's got if she thinks this is her adult avatar
[08:49 PM] Prokofy Neva: read her creepy profile, ugh
[08:49 PM] M C : you got banned?
[08:49 PM] Mercyblu Moorsider is Online
[08:49 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Naw... Never been banned. (^_^)
[08:49 PM] Prokofy Neva: Banned from these surrounding parcels, yes BANNED because she disrupts events with a griefing group
[08:50 PM] Prokofy Neva: this is a known quantity that is always pretending to be what it is not
[08:50 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Well.. Yeah... I can't get into the mall parcels. (=_=)
[08:50 PM] Prokofy Neva: so you keep trying to publicize it, eventually she gets tripped up
[08:50 PM] M C : hostility?
[08:50 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: brinda Allen (15m)
[08:50 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: That's the thing... I really don't do that stuff. But, no need arguing it here. (=_=)
[08:51 PM] M C : im lost anyway
[08:51 PM] brinda Allen: hi Prok
[08:51 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: That's another facet of SL... Drama... People feed off of it in anonymous virtual envrironments. (=_=)
[08:52 PM] brinda Allen: No notes on the board
[08:52 PM] Prokofy Neva: it's not about drama, it's about declaring creepy little ageplay kids as creepy and annoying and asking them to leave and go on their own considerable number of sims rather than deliberately coming here to harass and annoy
[08:52 PM] Prokofy Neva: we all see what IMG is up to, it's an old story
[08:52 PM] Prokofy Neva: pretend innocence, fly around in creepy child avatars, say "But the Lindens let me" blah blah blah, creep creepy stuff
[08:52 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: M Z (15m)
[08:52 PM] brinda Allen: ah...Ok i think ill go
[08:52 PM] Prokofy Neva: well the Woodbury goons leave up annoying notices brinda so I take them doine, it's suppoesd to be open to the public not their personal playground to be annoying
[08:53 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: I'll be quiet for now. MulThai... Remember what I said about search and landmarks. I do hope you work out inventory. (^_^)y
[08:54 PM] M C : i am on your side sideways....i dont know the other dude
[08:54 PM] M C : you seem helpful to me
[08:54 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: No no... No taking sides. (>_<)
[08:54 PM] Prokofy Neva: yes MulThai well, you have to read the back story and then you won't have that superficial impression
[08:54 PM] Prokofy Neva: but start by simply reading the profile
[08:54 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: This is personal drama... Nothing more. (^_^)
[08:54 PM] M C : i meant that i dont care what convos happen
[08:54 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Aha.. Good deal. =^-^=
[08:54 PM] Prokofy Neva: No, it's perfectly legitimate civic protest against somebody who is connivingly disruptive
[08:54 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Ali Tiraxibar (15m)
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: with their little faux innocent =^-^==^-^==^-^==^-^==^-^==^-^==^-^==^-^= crap lol
[08:55 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Disruptive... Heh. (=_=)
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: what a shtick, anyone can see through it
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: look at the profile
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: Just listen for the bell and look for the little nakie one. I respond to "Immy". =^-^=
[08:55 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: I like makeing smilies.. They're fun.. It's a bit of a reflex. (^_^)
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: er, nakie one? huh?
[08:55 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: XD
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: Currenttly a persocom programmed by matron Rune Ixchel. Any questions, complaints, or comments should be adressed to her. (^_^)y
[08:55 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Though.. I'm in a dress today. (>_<)
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: a naked child and a BDSM sub?
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: hello?
[08:55 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Naw.. Not a child... Just a little lady. (^_^)
[08:55 PM] Prokofy Neva: that's um...not even appropriate for the Zindra continent?
[08:56 PM] Redux Densmith is Offline
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: or this: What little things crawl underground? Little creepy things, are what. Odd happenings occur when this thing comes above ground. (^_^)
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: or this I'm just asking for too much attention from too few people.

I assume I'm unwanted by default.
[08:56 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Yeah.. That's my little avatar. (^_^)
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: you just read it, and you can see what you are ealing with
[08:56 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Kaesa Whybrow (15m)
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: *dealing with
[08:56 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: It's an old character. (^_^)
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: sickness
[08:56 PM] Prokofy Neva: and a cry for attention with wheedling manipulation
[08:56 PM] Marianne McCann is Online
[08:56 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Chobiimmy is the character I'm taking on now.. I like Chobits. (^_^)
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: so MulThai, if hanging out with "little ladies" who are BDSM children is your thing, well, um, ok I'll leave you to it
[08:57 PM] M C : bdsm?
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: sado masochism
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: the collar etc
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: she is the sub or slave or a domme
[08:57 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: That's one someone popular facet of SL... People like to explore things. (^_^)
[08:57 PM] M C : ?????
[08:57 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: somewhat*
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: oh well you'll figture it out
[08:57 PM] Floor: Your home point is set to this land region or sim.
[08:57 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: (Owner: Unknown / b967ea90-4356-45eb-b867-842a4116584e) [Obj. Name: Floor]: Your home point is set to this land region or sim.
[08:57 PM] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: (Owner: Jessica Ornitz)+ [Obj. Name: Floor]: Your home point is set to this land region or sim.
[08:57 PM] Prokofy Neva: this is PG, I'm not required to explain
[08:58 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Don't worry about him. (^_^)
[08:58 PM] M C : okay?
[08:58 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: The fun part is... I'm gonna show up on a blog again. =^-^=
[08:58 PM] M C : great first appearance......
[08:58 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: No kidding. (=_=)
[08:58 PM] M C : what did you do?
[08:58 PM] M C : you must be popular
[08:59 PM] Imnotgoing Sideways: Mostly? I help and teach. (^_^

Who was disrupting who? I'll say no more. (^_^)y

Kink isn't sex(?) Kids can kink(?)

2009-11-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

This interesting little snippet came from a rather heated thread about a kid AV that asked if skin defects can be made by wearing a prim collar. (^_^)

=================================

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:27:18 -0500
To:
"**************************************
We have solved your issue
Solution:
Hello H*** H***,
As we posted in our blog about Age Play, every report will be handled on a case-by-case basis. However, if there is
nothing sexual at all about the actions being taken, then I do not see any reason that you could not partake in the
actions you mention. I would make sure that if you do choose to partake in this that you are extremely careful and
not venture into the sensual/sexual side of bondage with child avatars.
Regards,
Arch Linden

Ticket Information:
Ticket #: 4051-6977848
Date Created: 11/4/2009 2:39 PM PDT
Details: There is no official policy statement on whether a child av is permitted to participate in the
activity described below.
NONSEXUAL bondage rp using cuffs, collars, cages, cells, leashes, blindfolds and gags to control, isolate, and
restrain the child av. Genital regions are fully covered before, during, after rp. No depiction of, reference to, or
description of sexual penetration, orgasm, sexual arousal, genitalia or fluid exchange before, during, or after rp.

=================================

Apparently, Arch Linden's response is a "Yeah, cool, gag and chain up all you want. Just, don't turn it sexual." Heh... An eyebrow raiser to be sure. =^-^=

To a certain extent, I must agree. There are parts of BDSM and D/s that have NOTHING to do with sexual arousal. While that's the common thought, many BDSM implements came from items the served a medical purpose. So, the idea of putting a ballgag in someone's mouth realy isn't intrinsically sexual. Humiliating, restricting, uncomfortable... Yes. But, surely, it would seriously have to be that person's "thing" to just outright spoo from wearing a ballgag alone. (^_^)

Still. Is this an indicator or reduced sensitivity to kid avatar issues from Linden Lab? Or, it it just common sense kicking in? I wonder, how does this weigh in with the lab's decision to allow kid AVs in Zindra as long as they continue to obey the clarified (sexual)ageplay rules? (^_^)

Welcome back, Tat! =^-^=

2009-11-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

Got a little good news / bad news from the NCI front. (^_^)

Bad news: Gramma Fiddlesticks has stepped down from her position in NCI. These past couple months have surely been stressful for her. I can imagine; combining the turmoil of recent events, managing the people that make the group run, and dealing with the people who have a thing or two to say about how NCI 'should' be run. (>_<)

She's been great. Having taken on a position she didn't want in order to try and maintain the stability that makes NCI so great. And really sacrificing a large chunk of her life to serve the new resident of Second Life. In addition, she often offered me a shoulder to cry on for my own troubled times when I was being bombarded with slander and hate mail to the point where I was willing to blame myself for situations I had completely no control over. (T_T)

Frankly, that made her the best person for the job, in my eyes. Kind, caring, and willing to serve. She was the right person, in the right place, at the right time to keep the NCI community afloat since the events of August. She is still a friend, and a great one. Her role in NCI will be missed. (T_T)

Good news: Her replacement is Tateru Nino. Having come out of "retirement"... or "sabbatical"... which ever word you chose... She's now taking the executive reins. I've chatted with her a couple times and have been a frequent reader of her blogs. She has been in NCI from all the way back when Brace Coral was running the show. From what I have seen, she is just as trustworthy and hard working as anyone we've had. I fully support her return and hope to become a friend of her's as time goes by. =^-^=

At the same time, a few coordinating roles have been revised and filled with new people in order to give Gramma a break. It's not so much a re-organization as it's simply filling roles to keep things in motion. All in all, NCI is still strong and continues to be the best new resident support organization SL has ever had. (^_^)

For more, read up on Tateru's blog pose here: Everything old is new again. (^_^)y

Emerald hasn't polished the turd yet... =^-^=

2009-10-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

I came and left from the latest Emerald. The FPS has vastly improved since I last ran it and the client side AO is a great idea... But...

I don't care about the paranoia plugins. All that mess with Show Look At, the radar, de-friend notification, and such just gives me more information than I want to know. And, I weep for the person who feels the "need" to gather all that information about their surroundings. (=_=)

The AO is a great idea... If it worked. Yes, I know how to set the animations and the notecard and I got it to walk, pose, run, and fly just fine. But, I don't run a sit pose. I like chairs to have their own. But, I've found that if I sit on a poseless chair (the kind I use 90% of the time) animations get seriously borked. (=_=)

BLING! Yes, I'm saying it... Those stupid looking customized select particle trails are just bling. Friends don't let friends bling. In fact, I like the ~other~ feature... The ability to turn ALL selection trails off. Happy clean screen for me at the time. (^_^)

RLVa... What the heck is RLVa? What does the "a" stand for and why do most compatible RLV attachments break when running in RLVa? Guh... FAIL! (>_<)

Client tag ID. Yet another "Cool Kids" option, like select train bling. I didn't like all the distracting and oversized green nametags with (Emerald) as if it's a secret sorority handshake. I get the feeling people get a little 'beam' or pride when they see that they're in the "in" crowd with their green tags on that the l4m3rz don't have. =^-^=

Plus.. Since Boy Land did a new compile of Cool Viewer with full Adult additions, even less lag, and RLV 1.22... I went back to that client. (^_^)y

I agree with Prok. =^-^=

2009-10-18T12:23:00.001-07:00

"I think publicizing and exposing false claims and naming and shaming griefers and stalkers are all good things that are needed in the struggle against online bullying. It's a tactic that works with RL governments although it may work less well with violent social movements. Even so, it's a means of drawing the line so that those movements are discredited and that new recruits are forced to have a conscience, even if they don't start out with one, by having ownership for the violence that occurs with their chosen group -- forcing them to explain themselves, or leave. Some do leave."

Yes, I like exposing false claims too. Particularly ones involving me being included in any griefing raids, being in any crowd of avatars, or even harassing people. (^_^)

See? I don't do those things. And, since Prok hasn't provided any screenshots or chatlogs that include me, I'll continue to call BS on every word (s)he says. (^_^)

(S)he can speculate as much as she d**n well please. Actually, I can't say I'm bothered by being described as "Creepy" and "Little"... Consider, my store name IS "Darkly Cute" after all. Creepy and little is my thing. (^_^)y

Is Emerald FINALLY a gem? (^_^)

2009-10-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Up until lately, I've been hesitant to adopt Emerald since I've had mostly poor experiences with crashing and horrible FPS performance. But, with all the publicity it's getting, it just can't be ignored. (>_<)

So, latest update... What comes of it? Client side AO and bouncy boobs. Funny thing, while I'd LOVE to claim I got it for the boobs... I didn't actually know about that feature until AFTER announcing I was running it in a group chat. (._.)

So... I'm running it now, FPS is nicer than before. I turned off all the blingy annoying particle things and I think it's to the point where I'll keep it. I'm loving the client side AO (After I actually got it to work... Notecard in the same folder as the animations, people) and it still behaves in RLV. (^_^)

So, happy Immy is happy. I'll be in Emerald from now on until something better comes out. (^_^)y

I’m turning Persocom, I really think so! (^_^)

2009-10-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, bad song reference. (>_<)

But, it’s true. As a method of coping with my recent bouts of depression my friends have taken me in to a dollification sim and have turned me into a Persocom. Surely, this is something I can’t be against because I can use all the help and attention I can get and I bloody LOVE Chobits. (^_^)

To explain what a Persocom is, is pretty simple. A Persocom, in the Chobits Anime/Manga, is a personal computer built in the form of a humanoid being. Full size models can be completely adult in scale and height and laptop models can fit nicely in a backpack or purse. For more, read here: Chobits - Wikipedia (^_^)

The most commonly known Persocom is Chii; One of the two first-built models and the main character of the story. Her ears are very popular for cosplay characters and a lot of people in SL have made duplicates so that inworld Persocom avatars can be easily made. (^_^)

Now... It’s my turn. I have the ears, eyes, a USB “tail”, and I’m being programmed to match. I’m still being a bloody nightmare to my friends and don’t yet know how to stop that. But, I know they care. I know they want what’s best for me. Regardless of my horrible reception of their care. (>_<)

Still... I have teh cutenezz. =^-^=

Come on by and visit The Doll Works grotto to see me in action... I have pretty good Google-Fu skillz. =^-^=

<(^_^)>

Don't take candy from strangers ~AND~ AR or it didn't happen (^_^)y

2009-10-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the Kuula sim had a griefing. It was the epic bluebox of doom attack whereas a script, be it rezzed or attached to an avatar, would send huge quantities of blue box dialogues to any and all avatars nearby. As you well know, blue boxes tell you the owner. Enough blue boxes will lag any client into a crash... Which is exactly what happened to a number of people in the vicinity. (>_<) So, we knew what avatar it was, we knew it was spamming people, and it wasn’t the first time for this kind of attack. I, myself, crashed and filed my first abuse report with an alt. After relogging myself, I remembered there’s a limited range and went back to Kuula to fly about 100 meters away to file my detailed AR. Both times on the avatar named as the owner of the script sending the blue boxes. (^_^) Within a minute... This big bloody canon falls on my head! (>_<)

Porter Linden! Xd

Since the avatar was on the street, he shut off scripts all around. We were able to have a chat with the avatar that was spamming us. Turns out, this person had received a folder called “1000 FREE LINDENS” and decided to wear it. In that folder was the scripted attachment that was spamming and crashing everyone. This person was completely unaware of the damage being done, agreed to delete the items, and was very apologetic for the whole situation. (^_^)

Lessons learned:

“Don’t take candy from strangers” – Be mindful of the items you receive. Particularly if they’re objects you wear or rez. And, “1000 FREE LINDENS” sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? Well... Now we see why. (^_^)

“AR or it didn’t happen” – I say this a lot on the forums. We can complain about abuses all we want, but, until we report them to Linden Lab... they won’t and frankly can’t respond. (>_<)

That said... Don’t be afraid to AR a violation. As you can see, sending an abuse report does not make you judge, jury, and executioner. Linden Lab has a fully staffed support team who respond to TOS/CS violations in real time via triage. Invalid ARs are more often than not ignored and valid ARs are addressed quite promptly... Even with rather surprising results, sometimes *rubs cannon shaped bruise on her head*. =^-^=

In conclusion, the person wearing this item was not a griefer and didn’t operate on purpose. As a result, this person was not banned, and rightly so. It was an accident, it was treated as an accident, and in the end we had hugs all around (and a well needed sim reboot). (^_^)y

In response to... (Redux)

2009-09-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I'll get deleted... So...

http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/09/i-am-not-a-liar.html

Sorry, but, the claims you made about ME were and are lies. I see no evidence of the events as you tell them.

1) I was exploring the mall around an NCI site ALONE! I greeted you and complimented the place.

2) Your topic about anonymity interested me. I read the chatlog on your blog the next day. I really wish the rest of the crowd stayed on topic, as you yourself admitted, they didn't.

3) I was on NCI land and I had no idea you controlled it, no idea that you were going to have a discussion, and was helping some people I only chat casually with navigate the freebie wall.

Your own spin doesn't change those stories. Please; provide chat logs, screenshots, Mystitool radar updates, ANYTHING that supports your spin on the story.

Until then, to me, you're a liar.

And, if I'm still posting responses, it's not because I'm "getting around bans". I don't know how. You just haven't banned me correctly yet. So, don't perpetuate THAT lie eithjer. (=_=)y

All good things...

2009-09-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

I came to SL to develop the social life I never had. What actually happened was more of a revelation. It may well be that I don't have a social life for a very fathomable reason.

As indicated this past week, I have been very rough on one friend in particular. As a result, I've ruined things. Yesterday, in my usual stream of needless drama, I was faced with this:

"I ment all I said about friends and people seeing your good side... but you are indeed scaring me now... I cant take much more. sorry to say this but I wish to cut ties."

I have successfully ruined what I used to describe as my best friendship. It is a success I did not desire. A success that I can not celebrate.

All I can do is blame myself for failing to be a friend for a friend.

Self inflicted exile

2009-09-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

Out of all this drama over the whole NCI, Caledon, Prokofy, Liasblue... Thing... I've become quite ruined. I've expended more emotional energy than I had available to respond to all the lies about me. I've dealt with hate, slander, personal attacks, and attempts at character assassination. I refuted and rebutted the lies against me. I stood up for what I believe in. Now, I fall.

NCI survived the drama. The community has gone on, unchanging, with only some minor hiccups in operations and a separation from Caledon, as announced in a few outlets by both parties.

I, on the other hand, have become a monster.

Rinoa Rives is my friend... My best friend... And, my vocal supporter on the forums.

I was her friend. But, I have become a monster. I have exiled myself inworld and have made myself very unapproachable. I hide, in my basement build, only responding to IMs and group chats. What time I've spent outside has been usually hiding one sim away from Rin with my camera on her, raging upon myself for not being worth enough to give her company.

As a result, I dropped her from my friends list... Again. This isn't the first time I've done it. It may as well be the last. I've fallen so far, I don't even think I'm worth the effort to try and bounce back again. I'm out of control. The lies have gotten to me. The accusations have gotten to me. I'm in a pit.

And, what's my reaction? I get the one person who gave me the most vocal support and burn her. I get the one person on the whole grid who I care for the most, and I toss her out like trash. She dealt with a barrage of opposition in trying to support me. What reward does she get in the end? A barrage of abuse from me, who she was trying to support.

What's left of me? I have my place. I've been put in my place. I keep my place. I've put a chair there now as a reminder of where I deserve to be. I'll still address people in IMs and support and work for NCI. But, me? I'm already dead. I'm just not meant to be around people.

I ask for too much attention from too few people. As a result, my friends list is extremely short. Once you get to know me, you learn to hate me. I think it's the people that hate me are the ones that know me best.

So, I keep my place. It's safe here. As long as I don't move, nobody gets hurt.

This is a good thing.

Do I have a stalker?

2009-09-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

I see this Lias/Ladyblue character... She tends to have this little habit. When ever something ever so slightly negative happens to me or around me, there she is. She tends to take the side of whatever is against me. As if I'm worthy of her persistent antagonism for some amazingly random reason.

I started a thread on multiple forums with two purposes. One: To reveal the truth behind the lies posted about me in other places. Two: Because I had a meeting with NCI and Caledon high-ups in regards to group affiliation that discomforted them. We all agreed that the questions to be answered were larger than any of us. I let them know I'd ask the community at large, and I did.

I wasn't sure what outlet to use. SL forums: I'd get a broad audience but wording would have to be carefully chosen as to not violate the TOS/CS. SLU forums: I'd pretty much be able to say what I want, but, I'd have to accept that the responses would come from a clique/crowd biased against my accuser. My blog: Up until now, who read my blog? No audience = no response. I wanted response, input, and advice.

Needless to say... The people that had the most stake in the argument were well aware of what my actions were going to be.

But, who comes into the picture? LiasBlue, Lias, Ladyblue, Blady... Whatever... Too many names to deal with. She's done this before. Tagging along on another un-controversy on the SL forums over kid avatars' presence on non-sexual parcels of Zindra (Adult) land. Attacking the child avatar targeted and pretty much behaving like a bully's chrony.

When I decided to contribute the dangers of false accusation, she found a way to spin my story into some sordid tale of exposing children to pornography. Using the most pretzel logic possible, she tried to "expose" me for being some sort of horrible person.

My story, based on fact:

I go to my favorite book store to buy books.
Kids are in the way because they're loitering.
One mother accuses me of looking at the kids and requests security remove me.
Mall security and store staff recognize me as a regular, know I'm just there for the books, in turn they remove the mother and her loitering kids.

The LiasBlue version:

I go to the mall to expose kids to hentai porn.
Mothers rally against me to protect their kids.

This is pretty persistent and becomes pages and pages of me saying she's twisted the details into some accusatory functional turn of phrase. I know I'm probably an idiot to respond to her. But, I simply can't stand to be lied about.

Now, here we are again. I started the thread, I got my responses, I asked for a thread lock knowing that no productive conversation could follow from that point on. The SL forums awarded me my lock, SLU did not. So, what results? Exactly what I expected. Counter productive commentary and a continuing stream of false accusations from LiasBlue.

In a peak of irony, LiasBlue agreed to a post including a Google seminar video about poisonous people in discussion groups.

http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/general-sl-discussion/33422-we-human-we-griefer-11.html#post774473

What comes up about at about 11:30 in the video is the topic of one dissenter and how that poster responds to nearly every single post in the thread. "It's a technique of making it look like there's more dissension than there is." as quoted from the video. Looking at LiasBlue's patterns, she's shotgunned the thread with what appears on some pages as a checkerboard of her post, someone else, her post, someone else, her post, someone else... Ad-nauseum.

She seems to be out to reinvent the wheel here. Out to be the advocate of the devil's advocate. I'm not sure what pleasure she derives of this. I'm not sure what she has to gain. But, her favorite game seems to be finding someone who has something to lose, beating the dead horse over this person, and eventually patting herself on the back for "winning" whatever happened.

The fatal flaw is that nothing ever really happens. She's being laughed at, not laughed with. So why persist? I persist because I'm being lied about. I persist because I think this mis-information affects me and how I spend my time inworld. If I don't post corrections, what do I do?

Off in the background, I've been accused of "Not letting this stop". But, I ask, who is not letting it stop? I'm responding to lies. Personally, I'm going to leave it up to the liar to stop. I will not sit by idly and let the lies continue to spread. Using words like "propaganda" and "the pandering mob" doesn't make a lie more true.

So, do I have a stalker here? Should I put up with these lies? Is it my responsibility to "let this stop"? I need to know. At the moment, I can't think up the solution for myself.

What's it like to be buried in a mountain of lies?

2009-09-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know all sides of the story anymore. I only know my own. I'm glad to see that I haven't lost any friends at all from this insanity. I'm elated to see that I've actually gained friends in the process. None the less, this whole mess is a heavy load.

I did one thing: I stood my ground.

I didn't let outsiders tell me that the group I'm in is what they say it is.

I didn't allow people who simply don't know me lie about my intent and activities.

I responded. I stood my ground.

I'm here on my feet; facing a tank built upon bias, hate, and lies. I'm telling that tank I will not move. Now, I ask, how will I survive this?

To this day, I continue to volunteer.

To this day, I continue to teach.

To this day, I continue to Mentor.

To this day, I continue to find that my friends support me in my efforts.

Is that enough?

Shall I simply allow the lies and slander to float about around me on forums and blogs?

I fear that a lie, when told often enough, may become the truth to many. And that scares the hell out of me.

I did nothing more than stand up for what I believe to be right. I saw an injustice and fought against it. I can't describe the fight as "won" or "lost" because I don't believe I've genuinely seen the outcome yet. What I have seen is mixed results. I'm running out of ideas. I don't know what to do with the situation I'm in at the moment.

If anything... How do I stop this mess from getting to me?

NCI's policy on volunteer and staff group associations

2009-09-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

NCI's current standing policy. Not in my own words:

http://nci-sl.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7

It has been decided that NCI will continue its tradition of being inclusive and of dealing with individuals on a case-by-case basis. NCI is not the SL police department, nor do we have authority over the internet or real life. We have authority only on our land.

Membership in NCI's "official" ranks will be handled in the same way that we handle everything in what we do: case by case. Person by person. Groups are comprised of individuals. We will not carry a prejudice toward groups as a whole, we will deal person by person. This is how we help: person by person. One at a time evaluating their needs, and acting accordingly. This is how we hire: Person by person. One at a time, evaluating their strengths, weaknesses, character and behaviour. This is the way of NCI.

NCI hires from *within* the ranks. That means that you have to have been helping freely for some time before you are ever invited to become a helper by someone who has long experience in dealing with newbies and the many character types that come though our very public space. We watch, observe, listen, and learn. We assess their temperament, skills, communication style and overall attitudes and behaviour. If an individual is proposed as a potential helper by a current Land Officer, we consult, deliberate then finally make a decision en group.

One cannot apply to NCI for a position; people are invited, based on long experience and first hand observation of the individual. People who grief, simply don't make it to the ranks. Griefing is counter to NCI culture. An individual who has been observed, recorded or strongly evidenced to be a griefer will simply not be invited, regardless of what group zie may or may not belong to. This has the added advantage of weeding out bad apples regardless of the group they belong to.

It's long been NCI's policy and culture to deal with the individual, rather than by group. It's my understanding that the policy was stated as if an individual belong to a known griefer group they may not simultaneously occupy an official position at NCI. You may play and hang out with us, but not be a helper, LO or BoD. They either leave NCI or the other group. Some felt that was in conflict with dealing with people one by one, case by case, as well as being a less effective strategy for keeping our lands peaceful and our membership secure. Some of our officers/helpers/regulars also associate with some Woodbury members. This brought it from a theoretical issue, to a practical one.

(^_^)y

"Fun" Show&Tell event last night...

2009-08-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've been substituting for the Sunday night Show&Tell events for a few weeks now. For the host, it's a very active event. While you're seeing an avatar just standing there, what's going on in the background is someone working in Excel, Photoshop, SL IMs, group chats, and trying to time manage each presenter to prevent the event itself from becoming an endless wait for the next question. (>_<)

Then, you get what I got last night. A one, McLickingAlot Ying, decided it would be fun to particle, sound, and chat spam the event. He was orbiting guests and presenters and pretty much simply causing a ruckus. In any other NCI location, he could have been easily dealt with via Banlink or a classroom security orb. But, none of those resources were available. I was basically left requesting an estate ban on the guy in the Land Holdings group. I pretty much got it about half way through the event. (^_^)

None the less, the event went on all the way to the end and we saw some impressive items. =^-^=

Still, I can see that I've developed no fan club due to recent events. One person in particular (maybe two) decided that the event should be turned into a Q&A session over why the event was like the "Good old, more innocent times" and how the event and crowd were 'influenced' by Woodbury. Even taking a snipe at my promotion of the NCI mall by asking how many items for sale were from "Real people and not WU goons". (=_=)

Well... The event was hosted entirely by me, and each presenter was selected simply on the basis that they IMed me and were more than 90 days inworld. In addition, the mall has been managed entirely by me and each seller was selected simply on the basis that tney IMed me and were under 120 days inworld. Spewing such conspiracy theories otherwise turns out to be a grand way to erode your perceived integrity. (=_=)

So, in spite of spammings, orbitings, detractors, and the general madness of what it is to be griefed in SL... It was a pretty darned good show. (^_^)y

From the ashes(?)

2009-08-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

As many people have well heard, Carl has left NCI. But, not before a mass exodus of officers, directors, helpers, and such.

As a result, the directors and officers of NCI have gathered to try to rescue the group. From what I see, the community is showing its strength. To quote a friend:

[07:02 PM] ** **: Everyone who is here came because they are interested, or they care, or both.

NCI is in the process of being rebuilt. I hope to see it become the wonderful place I landed in when I first arrived in SL.

What is the goal in this?

2009-08-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

[2009/08/27 19:44] Carl Metropolitan: I sent it to NCI, NCI Land Holdings, Caledon Oxbridge, and Caledon Oxbridge University group
[2009/08/27 19:45] ** **: never got to my account..
[2009/08/27 19:45] Carl Metropolitan: I wanted to maximize the number of people who could resign in disgust.

Is this someone considering the benefit of the community? Is this how you help Second Life's New Citizen?

I'm spent. I can't take this anymore.

2009-08-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

To NCI: Goodbye.

Words fail me...

2009-08-28T05:23:00.000-07:00

NCI Policy: Griefer Groups & NCI Officers
08-27-2009

Effective Tuesday September 1st 2009, no one may hold a position of responsibility at NCI (Land Officer, Helper, Board Member, Manager) while being a member of a hate group or a griefer group. Anyone who is a member of any such group needs to leave that group or leave NCI. If someone holding a position of responsibility at NCI joins such a group, when that affiliation is discovered by NCI management, they will be given a warning and asked to leave either that group or NCI. If they choose to stay in the griefer or hate group, they will be removed from their position of responsibility at NCI.

For the purposes of this policy, the following groups are considered to be hate and/or griefer groups:

Woodbury University (and associated groups)
Patriotic Nigras (and associated groups)

Additional groups may be added to this list when appropriate. Groups may be removed from this list when there is clear and compelling evidence that the group has stopped encouraging or tolerating hate and griefing activities.

Evidence for affiliation with a griefer or hate group shall consist of one or more of the following: 1) the presence of such a group in the Groups list of a person's Profile window, 2) public admission of membership in such a group, or 3) public and well-documented participation in griefing or hate activities alongside members of such groups. The Evidence section of this policy shall not be applied retroactively events or actions prior to 09-01-2009.

---

Now for some explanation:

For the past two weeks I've been more stressed about this than anything I've dealt with in the four years I've been running NCI. People on the BoD have very different beliefs about what should be done (if anything). I understand and sympathize with both sides of this issue. As I told Gramma last night, there is no good solution. The policy I am implementing is a bad solution. It's just what I believe to be the best bad solution.

I had been leaning towards the "ignore it and hope it will go away" solution. To be brutally honest, that usually works. However, over the past few days several things have occurred to push me to this decision.

First, I've learned that the Lindens who run the Community Gateway program are very strict on the issue of griefer groups. The appearance of tacit support by NCI for such groups could endanger Caledon Oxbridge. And since NCI Caledon is seen as an extension of Caledon Oxbridge, a policy of "Griefer group members okay on this side of this line, but not okay on the other side of this line" would likely (and reasonably) be seen as disingenuous equivocation.

Secondly, I've read the comments on Prokofy Neva's recent blog entries on the subject of Woodbury and other griefer groups. Over the last two days, multiple commenters associated with Woodbury have suggested he commit suicide. I'm sorry; I'm not going to tolerate that kind of evil shit anywhere near NCI. I don't care what anyone thinks of Prokofy, that's just beyond the pale.

Three, I've been amazingly stressed and depressed in RL and SL. I've been tearing myself up (among other things) by avoiding making a difficult decision. Avoiding doing what I knew was right, but would piss off people I cared for and respected. That's a bad reason not to do something. And it is a failure of leadership on my part. If I can't make the tough decisions, what does NCI need me for?

I know the policy above is going to upset some people. It goes against the well-considered advice of some of NCI's most active and vital officers. If you strongly disagree, I ask that you please give me the benefit of the doubt and accept this new policy. If you find you can not in good conscience do so, I will understand. This is a contentious issue that people of good will can disagree on.

However, this is a final decision. I'm acting in Executive Director mode. This is not an opening position for debate.

I'm sorry. I wish I had something better.

Carl

All I've been getting are copied letters of resignation and IMs saying "It's not your fault". At the moment, I'm too far spent to be able to comment.

Who is the real liar? (=_=)

2009-08-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

In regards to:

http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/08/refuting-intlibber-brautigans-big-lies.html

I won’t comment there, my stuff gets deleted. Frankly, any factual dissention pretty much gets deleted. (=_=)

I can pretty much second the quoted statements Intlibber made as quoted by Prok. I have quite a few documented events of harassment by W-hat goons. I was targeted by the group for a number of weeks as can be seen on their web site picture collection, up to the point where I got suspended by a false AR for (Sexual) ageplay. (>_<)

I remember being in an NCI Blitz Build event that was flooded by the group’s goons as a ‘cheerleading’ crowd for Orty. Much of the event was littered with huge amounts of lag due to their attachments and was persistently interrupted by their animations and gestures. Many of the statements were targeted at me, usually along the lines of “4chan GET OUT!” and such. (=_=)

WU, like 4chan, is a very open group... The only reason the group itself isn’t free to join is because of what we see here in the past week. There are people that want the group to not only appear bad, but even criminal. It is true, currently any member of WU can send a group invitation. With over 400 members, that’s 400 opportunities for just about anyone to join. And that’s still conservative by *chan standards. (^_^)

The *chan boards are completely wide open. You don’t have a user name. You don’t have a password. If you choose not to identify yourself, your name automatically becomes Anonymous. As a result, Anonymous is everybody. At the same time, Anonymous is nobody. Anonymous has been posting for years and Anonymous just posted this morning for the first time ever. Anonymous doesn’t have to take the blame for what Anonymous does, yet Anonymous is the only one capable of taking the blame. Such is the beast. (^_^)

... Which is why W-hat has a problem. W-hat is a group made of SomethingAwful forum members. Their membership rules require that someone be on the SA forums and that they didn’t join the SA forums simply for the sake of being in W-hat. It’s a controlled environment of relatively like-minded people. As I see them, it’s also a collection of elitists who not only follow the mantra “The internet makes you stupid” but also consider themselves to be above the petty meme dropping adolescent humor that shows up in the *chan boards. (=_=)

So, when Intlibber says Woodbury University faces hostility from W-hat, I believe it. I believe it because I see it. It exists in SL and on the respective web sites. (=_=)

Now, I have never actually met Intlibber. I’ve been in the same sim as him. But, he seemed to be having too much fun cussing at Tizzers for me to even consider approaching him. That and I continue to be an overanxious recluse, even online. (>_<)

Prokofy... You’re telling lies again. I know because I’ve seen you apply them to me. (>_<)

Okay... Who's the frigg'n griefer here? (=_=)

2009-08-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, we can be all la-dee-da that me and the group I'm in are all harassing and griefing and such. You know; I show up, say "hi", get parcel banned. All in a day's grief. I mean, who knows what I could have done. Something nefarious like saying "This place looks nice." =^-^=

But, when someone uses an alt to abuse someone in group chat with inflammatory remarks up to the point of receiving a suspension on their account... Naw, that's not the griefer. That's the victim we need to protect from all the naughty people. (=_=)

Bleagh. (=_=)

http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/08/rodney-linden-fan-club-gets-dear-leader-suspended.html

Have a nice day and enjoy your suspension. (^_^)y

Closure

2009-08-23T08:07:00.001-07:00

A liberal is a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.

A conservative is a liberal that hasn't been arrested yet.

I think everyone for their replies, on the forums, in SLU, and in person through IMs and forum PMs.

I have dealt with the subject on my own terms and have taken many things into consideration. As such, I wall make a statement.

ALL of the groups I'm in are griefer groups: Because in each group, I have observed someone giving another person grief. Emotional, technical, or psychological; it is still grief.

ALL of the groups I'm in are hate groups: Because in each group, I have observed someone expressing hate and intolerance.

ALL of the groups I'm in detract from the betterment of the SL experience: Because in each group, I have observed people spawning drama to the point where someone decides to leave SL and/or create an alt.

ALL of the groups I'm in reflect badly on me as a person: Because in regards to each group, someone has found something wrong with me due to my association in that group.

I have received suggestions that I simply hide the group. In regards to that, it would leave the remainder of my group list to pat them selves on the back for being the “better” 20 or so groups on my list.

As a result, in concluding this mess for myself, I will not leave any group I'm in.

What I will do is hide all my groups from being on display in my profile. If no one group can be on display because of the way it happens to “define” me; no groups can.

I am myself.

Does this sound irrational?

Does this sound illogical?

Am I making a rash decision because I'm making a big decision based on statements made by a person I should be best left ignoring?

Yes.

But, I am only doing so because behind all this I am getting messages of people making the same irrational, illogical, and unreasonable decisions. As a result, I refuse to be defined by group affiliation at all, regardless of the group.

In saying this, I wish to conclude this discussion and request that the forum threads get locked. They have served their purpose.

Thank you all very much.

Are we human? Or, are we griefer?

2009-08-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

I warn you a head of time. TL-DR...

To start: I am Immy. I am my own person, embodied in an avatar. I am the maker and keeper of all of my own decisions. That said, I have a big decision to make. In addition, I fear that this decision is a lose-lose situation.

I am a member of NCI. To expand, I am a Helper in the New Citizen's Inc. group, I am an Instructor and Land Officer in the NCI Land Holdings group, and I am a Mall Manager in the New Citizen's Mall group. I teach one class a night, every Thursday night at 6pm. I co-host a Question and Answer event every Saturday night at 6pm. I am currently substituting for the host of the Show and Tell event every Sunday night.

I am also the creator of the NCI Spam Central *NO ADVERTISEMENTS* conversation group that allows more idle group chat so that the main group can remain an effective support portal for new and old residents alike.

In addition, I spend my time in the Kuula sandbox mingling with the crowd, my friends, and new residents. I have over a year long history of helping people, befriending people, building, scripting, and I won't deny my fair share of drama. I don't pretend to be a good person. I don't believe I am one. But, if someone says I'm worth while, I'll take them at their word. Numerous people have said so. So, I don't believe I'm in a position do deny it.

I am a member of Second Life Mentors. In addition to my time spent in NCI; I frequent infohubs, welcome areas, and help the random strangers I meet. I find fun in gesturebating my way through the mob and if someone asks for help I'll gladly face them and offer what resources I can for their benefit. Honestly, this is my idea of fun.

*** I think I've done plenty in attempt to duct-tape a halo over my head...

I am a member of Woodbury University. For those of you who don't know, WU is a group that contains people with common connections to the *chan culture, SA forums, and I think even Ebaums World. Many of these communities are older than SL. A less than liberal mind would consider them to be the gutter of the internet. In some cases, proudly so.

I personally was an anonymous poster to 7chan for quite a few years. The spark to convince me to join SL was a screenshot of the Windlight First Look client posted on 7chan. I had made attempts to join SL since beta, but, never had the computer to do it. That screenshot combined with some disposable income at the time was enough to finally pull me inworld for a second time and finally make the account you see here today. I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but, up until SL5B I used to maintain the group tag over my head reading /cake/.

I'm in the group because it's an inworld contact to people that share my commonly twisted sense of humor. Group notices contain new gestures. Group chat is funny, random, insane and a good diversion from the 'normalcy' usually found in SL. I'll visit the group sandboxes once in a while and play with some gadgets that I normally can't play with anywhere else on the grid.

It's a diverse group. I know the reputation the group has due to the treatment of a certain mad blogger. I have been told details and history of some horrible events. So, I'm more than prepared to believe that there is a large number of A-holes and psychopaths in the group. My thing is, in my point of view, they don't make up the entire group.

For argument's sake, the Roman Catholic church knowingly has priests and volunteers that molest children. As a result, I believe in Association Fallacy and personally can't libel an entire group because of the activities of one portion of it's members, even if the group as a whole doesn't vilify these members for their behavior.

*** Now... Why bring all this up?

I have been blogged about in regards to my membership in both groups. In this blog, I have been both described as a sort of supergriefer/hacker who joins 'grief posses' in order to disrupt discussions. I'm apparently 'evading bans' using my 'hacker nature'. This blogger has stated that I repeatedly have been seen in 'posses' and made multiple attempts to disrupt events. This blogger has connected me to gangs of bobbing and weaving avatars dropping particles and self-replicating cubes.

Because of all this, the blogger considers me to be a liability to NCI. I am referred to as some sort of griefer/recruiter that puts a legitimizing face on an evil group that doesn't deserve daylight in many peoples' points of view.

The details can be found on this person's blog and my own. I have made attempts to comment on the blog with as much fact as I have available and nearly each response has been deleted. So, I'm having to resort to other outlets to keep the story straight. Nobody has to believe me, I don't ask for that.

To make my own statement here, and reiterate what I've already said in my blog and in responses to that person's blog:

I don't grief.

I didn't go to that person to disrupt. Two of the three times, that person came to me. One of the times, I was genuinely helping two other people navigate the Freebie Wall inside an NCI infonode. Honestly, the other bannings didn't bother me a bit. But, to ban me for helping others under the pretense that I'm in some griefing mob just doesn't fly with me.

*** On to my question:

I'm in Catch-22 now. I see three choices.

Choice 1: Leave Woodbury University.

Pros: It would sever my association with what people strongly believe to be a griefer group. It may lift some peoples' opinions of me in regard to my personality. It would “prove the blogger wrong” to a certain degree.

Cons: I don't think it will solve a thing. What's done is done. I have been vilified and the publicity of both groups will not change. I am who I am if I am in the group or not and with or without people may continue to assume that I am influenced by WU. In addition, people may believe I am influencing NCI in order to turn it into a griefer haven. Me leaving the group will not change this. At the same time, WU is diverse. I and many other people are examples that there are facets of *chan culture that are often overlooked. If I leave, I'll be letting the people that blatantly ignore this “win”.

Choice 2: Leave NCI.

Pros: It would sever the most visible 'legitimizing link' between WU and NCI. It will shift the opinions of detractors of both groups. It will allow the “good guys” to claim their “win”.

Cons: NCI will lose a volunteer, or two, or three, or more... In my wake. I have friends in all circles of NCI and they respect and support me. As a reaction to my exit, they may decide that the group has lost its sense of direction and also leave. If I am genuinely an asset to the group, my one exit alone will leave a dent. My exit may also bolster my falsely derived reputation of me being a griefer. The people who have decided to make up false stories about me would be able to pat themselves on the back in their own reward for 'separating the chaff'.

Choice 3: Ignore all of this and don't change a thing.

Pros: Things can be as they were two weeks ago. I can have my laugh in the WU group chat, help new residents in the NCI nodes and sandboxes, play with gadgets in the WU sandboxes, and teach lessons and host events that help new users get oriented into enjoying SL far better than any effort Linden Lab has ever paid someone to do.

Cons: NCI may still be a target of 'anti griefer' ramblings on blogs. People may decide to no longer direct new residents to the group for help. Advertisers and supporters may pull their funding into the group.

***So, what am I to do?

In the end, this mad blogger will still be a willing target of some of the most horrible harassment I've ever heard of in person. With or without the WU group. There will always be someone 'out to get this person' as long as this person is so very public and stubborn about controversial opinions. At the same time, this person exaggerates to a huge degree what people are actually doing. My own case, as an example. And, in my point of view, it detracts from this person's credibility to a very large degree. You can only cry wolf for so long.

I asked a question in a small meeting last night. “Who is the most important person to NCI?”

I was frankly quite shocked at the responses I got. The names given in reply were not all that surprising. But, in my point of view, that question is NOT supposed to be answered with any one person's name.

My answer to the question is in the name of the group itself: The New Citizen.

Do new citizens, residents, users, players (use any name you like) know anything about me? Do they know the groups I'm in? Should it matter at all?

I have suggested that the NCI group should be focused on the community that makes up the sandbox. That community is made up of new residents, older regulars, helpers new and old, and the supporting staff they need to stay productive. The most important part of the New User Experience is the new user. NCI is genuinely part of the NUE and I believe it to be a disservice to hold the group and anyone within the group (including myself) responsible for anything in regards to grid oldbie politics at large.

Thank you for reading, if you did.

I will not defend myself against any genuine claims of bad behaviour. But, I will not allow myself to be lied about.

I will not stake claim upon being a good person. But, I will not sit idly by while I'm slandered.

I want to see NCI and organizations like NCI succeed in helping the new resident. And, I do not want to see oldbie politics be the cause of any group's downfall.

Immy. (^_^)y

In response to...

2009-08-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

Duplicate post to my response in: http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/08/ban-woodbury/comments/page/2/#comments

In saying "In griefing group" are you saying my avatar was a member of a crowd of avatars causing trouble? That never happened. Each time I received a ban, I arrived on my own. What "group" I may have been in is simply a name on my groups list. In fact, you have provided proof that I was alone. In the chat log of your July 11th post about Anonymous avatars, there is a single avatar eject:

[18:37] Avatar ejected.

http://secondthoughts.typepad.com/second_thoughts/2009/07/anonymous-avatars-and-the-art-of-second-life.html

This coincides perfectly with my own personal chat log:

[2009/07/10 18:37] Prokofy Neva ejected and banned you from this land.

So, whatever "posse" you're describing simply doesn't exist.

At the same time, I'm not actually aware of any technical means of getting around or evading bans. Are you referring to Linden Lab account suspension and/or termination? I don't evade those, I simply don't violate the TOS/CS. That's all.

Also, what grief build and where is Ravenglass? I don't really pay attention to sim names so I don't know if I've ever been there.

You give me too much credit. My attentions are typically elsewhere and normally all I ever want to do is say "hi" and have a conversation... Even if it is a twisted meme-off with a /b/tard. But, everything has its place for me. In NCI, I help. In events, I participate (or even host). In meetings, I contribute. That's who I am. That's what I do.

I am in the groups I'm in because they have something that benefits me. Frankly, I think my association with SL Mentors is more detrimental to my experience than WU. But, that's just my opinion.

I don't want to trouble you. I see that you reserve the privilege to ban me based on any opinion you have about me or what group I socialize in. But, I won't allow you to make up stories and lie about me.

The link that Desmond is referring to is here:

http://imnotgoingsideways.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-3-bans.html

And, I will duplicate this post in my own blog:

http://imnotgoingsideways.blogspot.com/

My 3 bans

2009-08-20T05:45:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to respond at first. But, in seeing the claims made, I'm seeing an invented reality that I just can't let go. Bear with me. I'll be brief. (=_=)

Banning event #1:
I get word that one of the NCI infonodes got a cosmetic update and went to check it out. My Mystitool spotted someone off in the distance and I flew over to say "hi"...
[2009/05/15 21:37] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Prokofy Neva (19m)
[2009/05/15 21:38] Imnotgoing Sideways: Konnichiwa (^_^)
[2009/05/15 21:38] Imnotgoing Sideways: Carl just told me about the update. (^_^)
[2009/05/15 21:38] Prokofy Neva ejected and banned you from this land.

Banning event #2:
I read on the forums that there would be a discussion on Avatars and Anonymity online. It was a fascinating topic to me, considering even my best friends don't even really know who I am in SL. I show up, chat, make a couple friends...
[2009/07/10 18:37] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Prokofy Neva (18m)
[2009/07/10 18:37] Prokofy Neva: hi
[2009/07/10 18:37] brinda Allen: oooops
[2009/07/10 18:37] Seasprite Destiny: Ah, and htis focus on the one on one experiecne..don't get me started.
[2009/07/10 18:37] Imnotgoing Sideways: I just passed 6 months inworld just a month before the openings were shut. (>_<)
[2009/07/10 18:37] brinda Allen: Hi Prok
[2009/07/10 18:37] Prokofy Neva ejected and banned you from this land.

Banning event #3:
I was TP'd by some people I know from the forums who had just discovered the NCI freebie wall. I was helping them navigate it and pointing out the new additions in avatars and textures. One person was getting a bit nostalgic about the dancing cow attachment...
[2009/08/11 19:17] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Prokofy Neva (17m)
[2009/08/11 19:17] Imnotgoing Sideways: Konnichiwa (^_^)
[2009/08/11 19:17] Prokofy Neva ejected and banned you from this land.

Here's the thing. At no time was I ever with a group of people. Each time I arrived alone. The second and third time, I had already had an open dialogue with the people there, and even made some friends in the process. (^_^)

I don't have replicating cubes. I don't have particle emitters. I don't even really know how to find or make them. I can't really say I care. They're not fun to me. So, to say I arrived with a group of avatars or a 'posse' or have ever been seen with a 'posse'... Well... That's just a lie. (=_=)

Yes, I am in the Woodbury University group.

Yes, I am in the NCI group.

In addition, I'm in Second Life Mentors, The Forum Cartel, Jumpman's Slut Magazine, and Second Life Children. ( I'm going to beat myself up for saying "slut"... I don't cuss... (T_T) )

Those are facets of me. I am not a facet of them. And, I can live with that. The only thing that troubles me at the moment is that lies are used in order to justify my bannings. (=_=)

Prokofy, if you simply said that you banned me because you dislike the group I'm associated with, I would have felt no need to respond. In fact, up until now, you may have noticed that I have kept the fuss to a minimum. Mostly, because until now, I didn't care. (^_^)

But, now that I'm being lied about, I care. (>_<)

Gotta love helpful people. =^-^=

2009-08-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

[05:25 AM] O*S*: Requesting help on HI 205
[05:25 AM] O*S*: we have alot of people here
[05:29 AM] O*S*: Sorry!. too many peeps now at Help Island XD
[05:29 AM] K*T*: mentor party!

They were right too... Can't TP in at all. (^_^)y

Darkly Cute has new stuff! Xd

2009-07-15T19:50:00.001-07:00

I made two new keys this time around. One turned out to be really low prim and the other super scary. =^-^=

Does Anon Deliver?

2009-07-15T08:33:00.001-07:00

As a result of an event I was ejected from (in under 30 seconds... can you say ‘guilt by association’ boys and girls?) I wasn’t able to be part of a discussion over anonymous avatars. (=_=)

Well, Bleagh! I guess I can say what I want here. Instead of offering and accepting feedback, I'll just get on my soapbox and lecture on the subject. Sound fun? Here I go! XD

To start... About 5 people know “me” in SL. Meaning, they’ve seen my real life picture and/or have heard me on voice or have even seen the Youtube video I tossed a link to. One of them knows my first name. Beyond that, I’m rather anonymous. I like it that way. When faced with questions, I have a few easy answers I like to give. =^-^=

· How old are you? – I’m “old enough”. =^-^=

· Where are you from? – I live under a giant cookie jar in a park filled with teddy bears and strawberries. (^_^)

Even my non-RP avatar has a story. As I get closer to people I do give out more details, but, only after I believe they care. Sometimes I say things too soon and it freaks people out. But, meh, I can deal with that. (^_^)

What’s so good about being anonymous? Honestly, I don’t know. I guess, because people know me for who I am in real life, I have something to lose here. Any facet of my personality that deviates from ‘common decency’, ‘social norms’, or ‘the will of the mob’ is potential cause for the destruction of my life and liberty. And, everything crosses someone’s line. This is where anonymity comes in. (^_^)

I’ve said many times that my avatar is my me that’s more “me” than I can be, myself. Well, it’s true. In real life I’m 6-feet tall, 220-pounds, and considerably unattractive. Surely, not the kind of person you’d want to be walking on the same side of the street with. That would be fine, if my personality were a hulking thug. But it’s not. (=_=)

Instead, deep inside, I’m a bubbly, giggly, hyper, and considerably childish brat. I’m the kind of person that could run up to a stranger, bite them in the kneecap or torment them with a raspberry or a “nyaa~nyaa~” and run off just as randomly. I have a wisecrack comment for just about everything and my brain is usually working overtime trying to find ways to screw up a perfectly civil conversation without angering anyone. (^_^)

But... Well... I just can’t get away with stuff like that in the frame I was forced into by fate. (T_T)

If I were to behave that way in real life, I’d probably be subject to harassment, people getting really freaked out, being ostracized, and maybe even arrested. Mostly I’m at risk because such behavior is very unusual for someone of my physical makeup. Heck... I see people who behave like that all the time and it’s rather depressing to know that I can’t be like them. I have too much to lose if I were to ever attempt it. (>_<)

But, in SL, I don’t have to be a giant. I can be the cute little scamp I visualize myself to be. And, nobody has to know me. The actions committed by my avatar are an extension of my real “me” and are unhindered by the concept of any real life repercussions that may come as a result of them. In a flight of fancy I can do, be, see, and make myself whatever I want to be. Most of the red tape has been cut. I’m able to be “me” among all without the real life depiction of myself getting in the way. (^_^)

Am I happier because of it? Sure. There’s a good reason why I set aside 3 to 4 hours a day with my fingers tap-tap-tapping away at my noisy Das Keyboard in my darkroom. Being anonymous has allowed me to be me in ways I could have never imagined possible. Allowing my personality to mesh with the virtual has allowed me the freedom from fear of retribution over my actions. I’m able to make and break myself with what are basically non-destructive characterizations of my self. Contrary to what my spell checker says, I did mean to put “my self” instead of “myself”. XD

In the non-anonymous real life world I exist in, my self is a removed entity from what my true nature is in order to address what I have to lose due to my place in society. In the anonymous virtual world I exist in, I see the real me. If that 4th wall were to ever break down, I’m afraid I may break with it. Being “me” is an experience I enjoy greatly and fear losing. All I can do is hope this lasts. (^_^)y

On kid avatars and Zindra

2009-07-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

To start, I'm a bit of a shape shifter. I don't like to admit to it, but, I have 3 primary shapes I use in SL. Only one of which I identify as a kid avatar yet not all the time. My shortest shape can be considered an imp or vampire depending on how I have it skinned and adorned. Regardless, there are times when I do say I am a kid avatar. =^-^=

As a kid avatar, I'm pretty wild. I spend time getting involved in as many inclusive groups and events as I can. I sling giant guns around. I wander around and visit Welcome Areas and Infohubs, sometimes offering a bit of Mentoring. And, sometimes, I simply scare the crud out of people by talking normally and getting along just fine in a crowd of giants. (^_^)

Kid avatars have had restrictions placed upon them after an event of bad press came up in a German tabloid program. The program in question staged an event where a reporter in a kid avatar got involved with a number of adult avatars who frequented a then-allowed (sexual)ageplay parcel. The reporter was making claims to these people about being an underage kid in real life and for the cusp of the expose' revealed that the adults depicted in the report were indeed pedophiles and seeking to victimize a child online. (T_T)

So... Linden Lab can't let something like that go astride, they had sent out a notecard to people involved in child avatars, concerned by child avatars, and directly involved in the (sexual)ageplay community. The note was created on 3/7/2007 by Chadrick Linden and stated that the content found on certain lands and businesses was " possibly not in
compliance with Second Life's Community Standards" and as a result "Advertisements, promotions, or descriptions of such activities must be removed to avoid account sanctions."...

Of course, the (sexual)ageplay community cried foul and got bold. Just like anyone told they can't do something anymore, they shouted about it on the hilltops and got far too much attention. (=_=)

So... Linden Lab followed up with this...
https://blogs.secondlife.com/community/features/blog/2007/06/01/keeping-second-life-safe-together

... And the witch hunt began. Everyone was suspect of being a TOS/CS violator. Kid avatars were being ARed for no reason. (Sexual)ageplayers made mad-dashes for private estate sims, closed in groups, or just plain left SL altogether. Among the madness was a lot of collateral damage. Innocent people were getting reported and banned. (>_<) So... Linden Lab followed up with this... https://blogs.secondlife.com/community/features/blog/2007/11/14/clarification-of-policy-disallowing-ageplay

... As if to say "Calm down, people!" And, things did calm down. It was right around the time I started my second account in SL, namely Imnotgoing Sideways, and went to see the goings on in the kid avatar community. It was actually pretty clean. Almost disgustingly so. And, what was left of the (sexual)ageplay community was pretty much mute, hidden, and paranoid.

Basically, (sexual)ageplay was, on the surface, gone. If you were going to publicly be a kid avatar, you'd be sure to disassociate yourself with the 'ageplay' crowd. If you were in the 'ageplay' crowd, you were pretty much a virtual shut-in.

Now, enough of that history lesson. I'm probably not getting all of it right, but, that's how I see it. Now, to the present.

Adult content has seemingly been both a blessing and a curse to the creators of Second Life. Linden Lab has accepted the terms of "Your world. Your imagination" to include that many peoples' imaginations become deeply ingrained in sex, violence, obscenity, and gore. The thing is, Linden Lab wants Second Life to grow beyond such narrow aspects. Sure, there is a lot of non adult content to be found, but, the lab is anticipating that one of the factors restricting growth is that people are refusing to get involved in SL because they're afraid of what they'll see the next time they teleport to a shopping mall, online office, virtual convention center, ... you name it. (^_^)

So, now it's time to have a "predictable experience" and offer up a Second Life that the boss over your shoulder wouldn't mind. Where you can walk, fly, and teleport around in without risking an 'accidental' landing in Primpecker Heaven. So, in comes Zindra, the continent of (Adult) mainland sims and the 1.23.xx Adult content settings. All driven by Account Verification (or Age verification, if you trust that method). Once you have your account verified, you have the option to open up access to the Adult world of SL from here on out. People providing Adult services, locations, and roleplay will have to comply with the updated Community Standards and relocate their land to (Adult) rated parcels so that search can properly filter them out. Not too bad. You can't be found by people who don't want to find you. People rallied (and still rally) against it. But, it just goes to show, you can't please everyone. (^_^)

But, what is adult content? Well... That's covered in the KB article:
https://support.secondlife.com/ics/support/default.asp?deptID=4417&task=knowledge&questionID=6010

Pretty much the same old same. Sex, violence, obscenity. Most of what you could do on (Mature) before and were restricted from on (PG) land. But, what's (Mature) land now? Well.. It's the same. You just can't advertise your content anymore. The moment you do, you have crossed the line into (Adult) content requirements. So, in spite of every one's paranoia, you can still have your sex bed in your own private house. You can still keep a dungeon under your castle. You just can't list the things in search. (^_^)

So, (PG) is PG, (Mature) is Mature - with search and apparent visibility limitations, and (Adult) is Mature - with no search or apparent visibility limitations. Now, I'm saying apparent because we were promised definitions on what was private and public content and never got it. The Community Standards say we need to check the Knowledge Base. The Knowledge Base says we need to check the FAQ. And, the FAQ says nothing on the subject. (=_=)

Now, where do kids come in? (O.o)

Simple: (^_^)
https://blogs.secondlife.com/community/land/blog/2009/06/26/zindra-an-update

*********

Item #9) Are child avatars allowed on Adult land?

Child avatars are allowed on adult land as long as they are account verified like any other Resident. Those choosing to represent themselves with a child avatar do not represent a minor as the account holder. Not all adult land is going to be hosting adult content either. There is plenty of protected land on Zindra that will technically be adult but safe in terms of content. This however does not change any prior policies regarding child avatars. Sexual ageplay is not allowed anywhere on the grid, regardless of rating.

*********

This took some people by surprise. In addition, the celebratory events of the opening of the continent was attended to by a few child avatars. Since nothing was developed yet on the continent, no TOS/CS guidelines were being violated. And, in addition, the events were run on Linden owned "Protected" land, which is deemed safe in terms of content by Linden Lab.

During the party, someone decided to jokingly don a full body penis costume. It was good for a laugh, hardly sexual, and was skirting the guidelines on the parcel. At best it was an unimportant event that gave some people a good chuckle. Regardless, a select few went ape-s**t.

As a result, a blogger that's pretty much tolerated for comedic value alone decided to raise a fuss. A fuss over a celebration that involved safe content until one person decided to violate the terms and location by potentially sexualizing the event. Really, the event still wasn't sexualized. It really was pretty much a gag item from the start. And, the laughable blogger flipped out over it. The excited few, looking for something to lash out against found this blog and leveraged off of it to incite a virtual riot that basically fizzled out. There is no HUGE community uproar. There aren't throngs of bloggers, forum posters, news reports, or anything else supporting this anti-cause. It fizzled. Faded away. Accomplished nothing because nothing was it's goal.

So where are we now? There are people bitter over the Zindra Adult content move. Uprooted people who feel as though they've been treated as second-class citizens. Add to that, the rules say that child avatars are allowed and have already shown their little faces in the crowd.

Well... With angry people ready to jump to any conclusion, that's exactly what happened. A small number of outraged people extended their outrage to the kid AV community and advocated harassment, started a couple forum threads, and put on heated discussions against the more level heads of SL's common forum community. Both sides had valid points, but, in the 'grudge match' of personal attacks, it was difficult to find. So, what is it?

I agree with the lab's terms on the subject. To add my own detail, here are the conditions I see applied to kid avatars considering a visit to Zindra:

Be sure the location you're visiting is safe ahead of time. Use the parcel description, landmark dialogue, owner history, items marked to be in search, and even the parcel picture as a guide to the content you're about to teleport into.
If instead of teleporting you're just walking, running, or flying; stay on Linden roads and parcels until you've determined that the content in the private parcel you intend on entering is safe.
Understand that protected land is protected land, but, it may be adjacent to a private parcel with exposed sexual content. While you are allowed on the protected land, bringing your avatar into visual proximity with the sexual content may put you at risk of an AR if it appears as though you're trying to sexualize your own avatar.
Don't be an A-hole. If someone decides to harass you over your proximity to sexual content, back off and be civil. That same person will decide to screenshot and AR you for whatever story they decide to make up. A bad attitude on your part will only hammer more nails into your virtual coffin.
When in doubt, don't. Just that. If you don't know where you're at and if you're among sexual content, leave. Linden Lab's rules are still firm about (sexual)ageplay and the depictions as they have placed in the Blog.

Conditions for dealing with kid avatars in Zindra:

Don't assume the worst. Kid avatars are still adult users, they're not looking at anything they're not supposed to. The real life kids would sooner disguise themselves as adults anyway.
Innocent until proven guilty. (Sexual)ageplayers are more likely to stay on closed in estate sims. They KNOW their activity is highly restricted by now and surely won't risk the banning by venturing out into mainland, regardless of the sim rating.
Adult is not sex. There will be aspects of kid avatar role play that will be forced on to Adult land like everyone else. While kid avatars are restricted from sex, they're not restricted from any other adult aspect of Second Life.
Protected land is protected land and deemed 'safe' by Linden Labs. If you bring sexual content on to protected land, you are at risk of an AR. Particularly if you're doing it on purpose in order to harass someone.
When in doubt, IM the kid. Ask them if they know where they are and suggest they leave if they're in a sexually themed private parcel. A smart kid will admit they made a mistake and vanish in a *poof* of spinny little particles. No harm. No foul.

Does that work? I'm sure it's sensible. I know the desire to lash out is strong and people are looking for a scapegoat to their woes. There's no use running around hating everyone. Remember, for each kink in SL that gets restricted, there's another one down the line that will offend someone else. The more sex plays into battles and infighting between residents, the more likely sexual content will be a thorn in the side of Second Life's creators, Linden Lab. Please, do your part to ease the tension. Mellow out on accusing "those people" of being the ruin of Second Life. Live and let live. And, enjoy yourself. Life is too short to do any less. (^_^)y

Cleaning out

2009-05-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

If you're reading my blog, you are quite aware that I used it for some seriously negative emotional rants about myself. I was in a very low state since the holidays and was ready to blame myself for everything short of the bombing on Nagasaki. (>_<) Well... Bully to that. It was an emotional low that isolated me from friends and it's over. I've been told that someone is primed and ready to use my words against me as some sort of rally cry over how bad a person I am, so, I figure it would be best to wipe things clean of that dark emotional past. I'm going to move on and see what I can do to make this blog worthwhile and readable. You know, something I can be proud to share. (^_^) So... Read me! Xd Comment a bit. Get on my case inworld for not updating it. Let me know how to post bloody pictures here... Hmmmmm.... Lesseeeeee.... (>.>)

Ooooh.. Check me out! Sex-ay! XD Still... Looks like there's a limit here so I gotta resort to my old ways of posting pics like on teh forumz. =^-^=

Okay?

Positive vibes!

Positive vibes!

Keep up with me a bit. Get on my case for not updating. I'm gonna try to have me an adventure. Use this good mood while it lasts! (^_^)

"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mohandas Gandhi. (^_^)y

Frigg'n ARed for ageplay! (T_T)

2008-09-30T12:34:00.000-07:00

Now I'm dressing up much less kid like. I've gone and made a big shape. And last week, I made myself digital. Like, totally a robot cyborg toy with a USB jack and all. So, no more kid Immy? Yeah, I guess, once in a while. (>_<)

So.... Last week... This week... I'm a USB Robot Toy... Okay.. Not a kid avatar. I'm hanging out my favorite sandbox, NCI Kuula. Heck, I'm an instructor there, it makes sense that I stick around. Then... My FAVORITE event the Blitz Build is starting... I get my grid-crash-protection box out, pack myself inside, and get to building. Then.... *Ding* You've been logged off of Second Life! (>_<)

I was frigg'n ARed and suspended for ageplay! (>_<)

How does a frigg'n robot become a kid and make bouncy-bouncy!?!?! (>_<)

GAH!!! (>_<)

Let me lernz you stuff! XD

2008-08-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

About a week or so ago my favorite group (NCI) had announced that there were some educator openings and I was like thinking... Okay, I'm a Helper.... Hmmmm, I'm a Mentor.... Hmmm, I've been wanting to teach. So I totally went for it! XD \(^o^)/

Now, check this out... I was accepted! And I start Thursday at 6pm. I'll be teaching two classes, one every other week. This week is Flexi&Light... Two really killer prim properties and wonderful sources of lag! (^_^)y Next week will be One Prim Wonders... It's a way to deal with crazy prim limits if you got only a little space on your land. I can totally feel for that since my only land is a 512 parcel and I gotta make the most of the 117 prims I'm allowed. (^_^)y

So, that's it... I had something to say today... I've been in the middle of my ups and downs lately, and this is definitely an up for me. I wish I could say the same about the rest.... I'm such an emotard. (T_T) Don't worry... I'm still as buggy as ever and nowz I'm a teacher! XD

Hooooooo! \(^o^)/

Wah! I'm a blogger now! \(^_^)/

2008-07-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Heh... The price I pay for Googleing my own name. (=_=)

Who knows what I got to say? I ain't got into blogging 'cause I'm overwhelmed as it is with my Second Life... But, hey, I've been having fun posting on the forum and just messing around. Maybe I can use this to vent on things that would probably get me kicked from the SL forums. (^_^)

Watch me... All my unpopular opinions will come out... I'll totally be here to butcher the place. (=_=)

Maybe I just spend my time responding to comments. Ask me some silly questions and find out the kind of crud I usually say without thinking. (^_^)y