I have my own frigg'n site now! =^-^=

Come on over and check it out.  I found out how much a hosting plan + registering a URL cost and wondered why I haven't done it sooner. DX

Cuz, like, now I'm not really subject to a content TOS over there.  So, a lot of the stuff I had over in Avatars United will be moved in.  I'll set up a gallery soon. (^_^)

For now, the blog is up and running! =^-^=

http://www.darkly-cute.com/

You WILL accept display names! DX

So, what really is in a name in SL?  Mine?  It's a sentence.  Some people have real sounding or culturally specific names.  Others have AOLish atrocities.  Then there's the people who try to get a 'message' across with their account name... Like... xxx69lickyoudry Felicity. (O.o)

Of course, now we're going to be getting DISPLAY names.  Our account name will be locked to whatever we signed up with, but, with a 7 day minimum we can have any bloody name at all... Well... Unless it's a curse word, on the ban list, or "Linden". (=_=)

But, why Linden?  Eventually that gets dug up at the end of the meeting. (=_=)

[2010/10/07 11:57]  Jack Linden: Drongle, Linden is a real world company with real world brand and protections of that brand. So yes, we will protect that inworld

But, what does that mean? (O.o)

Here's how the crowd understood it. (^_^)

[2010/10/07 11:58]  Ciaran Laval: Linden is also a real name Jack
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Master Kane: Oh and we qare just pissants jack?
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Zoha Boa: ZoHA Islands is a RL company paying +400 K US$ in tier to LL. Why can't you protect us ?
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Cummere Mayo: jack, many of the designers here are real world companies with bradings too
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Cummere Mayo: *brandings
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Imnotgoing Sideways: So, what about Linden St. San Francisco? (^_^)
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Marianne McCann: Hmn. I suspect Voyager might be a company's name out there, maybe others...
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Drongle McMahon: SA are hundreds of other names.
[2010/10/07 11:58]  Aargle Zymurgy: and I'm legally incorporated as well.
[2010/10/07 11:59]  Rigrunner Rang: so again i repeat a person can take no action until they see someone using their TM? There's no protective measures in place for anyone except Linden?

So, yeah, something is inconsistent... I mean...

[2010/10/07 12:00]  Imnotgoing Sideways: But, we get to use our RL names, right... What about when a Frank Linden signs up to SL... It's now everyone but him. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 12:00]  Imnotgoing Sideways: If there's nothing to be afraid of.... There's nothing to be afraid of. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 12:00]  Lamorna Proctor: yeah, you can have any name you like, as long as it's not Linden. What's sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander

So far, the way I'm reading this is that anyone can have anyone else's name at any time, we can use our real life names, we can make up character names, but our display name can NOT contain "Linden". (=_=)

Stepping back in time...

[2010/10/07 11:38]  Imnotgoing Sideways: Linden Lab was only called Linden Lab because the initial office was on Linden St. in San Francisco. Surely, the name has a history that predates SL. (^_^)
[2010/10/07 11:38]  Lamorna Proctor: Unter den Linde was a street in Berlin years before :)
[2010/10/07 11:38]  Lamorna Proctor: *Linden

So, Linden Research Inc. (Remember when they made that change?) feels the need to protect the "Linden" name.  Why?  It wasn't theirs to begin with.  There are people, places, and streets that use Linden as a name.  Surely, there may theoretically be a genuine reason for someone to name their avatar "Linden" at some point in time.  But, that's blocked? (=_=)

To say they're protecting a trademark means... what? (O.o)

[2010/10/07 11:52]  Cummere Mayo: i asked what procedure you have for takedown notices of trademakred or copyrighted names?
[2010/10/07 11:53]  Cummere Mayo: saying talk to us isnt a procedure

Oh, true that.  Residents have trademarked their names due to business interests and such.  But, its not just that.  We'll be stepping into this with zero knowledge of the grief that will come from mistaken identity, fraud, misdirected Abuse Reports, among many other potential issues.  But, the Lindens aren't choosing to protect their resi... CUSTOMERS!  Paying customers, at that. (=_=)

Personally, I can say that I don't completely mind display names, but, I despise the current method being used to implement it.  Add to that, Linden Lab keeps telling us that there won't be a need for protections over our names.  But... They protect their own?  So, if there's no need, why do THEY need it?  That's the whole sticky point for me. (=_=)

I think I have a solution... Opt out. =^-^=

[2010/10/07 11:17]  Imnotgoing Sideways: I'd still love to have an option in my profile that says "Add my account name to the display name blacklist". It can be a tickbox right next to "Hide me In search". (^_^)

People like the idea.  But, will it be implemented.  Heck, it's not even getting acknowledged. (=_=)

I dunno.  I'm seeing a lot of frustrated people who are currently putting a lot of money into SL.  Linden Lab seems to strictly target who they can get far more than who they can keep.  It just smells.  (>_<)

The question is...

[2010/10/07 11:20]  Molly Montale: If being fooled is not a real concern then why will the sur name Linden not be available?

Anyone got an answer?  Anyone?  Bueller?  =^-^=

For a limited time @ Darkly Cute - Freebie shoes! =^-^=

So, I got a pumpkin dress today and figured I wanted my shoes to match.  So, I looked for a decent orange shade and went for it. =^-^=

So... For the month of October, I'll be offering them for free at my usual locations:

Darkly Cute :: Ferguson
Darkly Cute :: Morbidette

HAPPY HALOLIWEEN!!! =^-^=



(^_^)y

New @ Darkly Cute - Wedgies! =^-^=

I did it again. This time they're wedges. I made them in three colors and they're same as before, Copy+Mod+NoTransfer with V1 and V2 compatible versions. (^_^)y

Nab a pair at the Morbidette Market http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morbidette/54/113/22 or in my cookie jar http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/238/94

=^-^=



I got'em all up on the walls. (^_^)

Jira sillies... (O.o)

I use the Jira, I really do. I don't mind the interface, and I've had issues directly addressed. (^_^)

But, here's an odd one... (o.o)

In March I started VWR-18470 after noticing that my offlines took a couple relogs before they came inworld... Which was heavily inconvenient since I have a full time job in addition to inworld responsibilities that lead to me getting IMs 24 hours a day. I've never seen another client exhibit this behaviour. (>_<) In May SVC-3503 was started, pretty much addressing the same issue and determining that it's a server-side issue. I'm not so prepared to believe that it's server side, since it only exhibits while using V2 clients. So...

imnotgoing sideways added a comment - 26/Mar/10 4:07 AM
If someone can move/copy my duplication captures from http://jira.secondlife.com/browse/VWR-18470 Please do so.

Alexa Linden added a comment - 03/May/10 12:00 PM
Duplicate of VWR-18470

Okay... That settles things. Seems my observations were correct, after all. (^_^)

But...

Esbee Linden added a comment - 24/Sep/10 3:02 PM
Dupe. This is a server issue (already linked to this ticket).

Eh? Can we say infinite loop, boys and girls? (O.o)

So, I looked at the linked tickets to mine and I see that SVC-3503 remains closed. I can't re-open it. The best I can do is sit, comment, and watch. (=_=)

I'm still not convinced that it's a server side issue. But, hey... They know what they're doing, right? (O.o)

New @ Darkly Cute - SHOES! =^-^=

I FINALLY made some shoes. I been wanting to do this in forever. After many hours of arm-wrestling with Blender I finally pumped out a pair of... Well... Pumps! =^-^=



I've placed them both at my mainland store and at the Morbidette Marketplace. (^_^)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/238/94

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morbidette/54/113/22

Be Darkly Cute! (^_^)y

When social phobias attack... (._.)

To start... This is a typical scene for me. (._.)



What you see here is me standing exactly 19 meters away from the furthest person in the conversation, as my Mystitool reads. I'm not "hiding". I'm not "spying". I just can't bring myself to get any closer. At least... Not without a direct invitation. And, if I do happen to get an invitation, what's going to stop me from having an anxiety attack which drives me to leave? (T_T)

I'm telling myself, "It's okay here". (._.)

I'm telling myself, "They're happy to be unaware of me." (._.)

I'm telling myself, "If I get any closer, I'll just cause trouble." (._.)

I'm afraid. (T_T)

What I'm afraid of most is that my friends have gotten used to this. They think this is where I'm happy too. Over time, they've stopped noticing me. Or, they've grown to glaze over me since nothing is ever going to get better. (._.)

I'm still in therapy. One more week. I still can't value myself enough to simply walk up to my own friends. I've been like this since I was a kid. I came to SL to escape from it. I did for a while. But, after a year and a half, my old phobias crept back in and followed me to my virtual life. (T_T)

How do I take control of this? (T_T)

How can I bring myself to just walk up to them? (T_T)

If I can't, what am I supposed to do with myself. (T_T)

This stinks all mighty and I want out. The hard part is that it's my own head. How do I get out of my own head? (T_T)

Helping a world of unstoppable diversity. (._.)

... Or, a virtual world, that is. (>_<)

So... Emeraldgate seems to be over. The client has mostly been blacklisted, the "bad" devs banned, and everyone is looking for the next big shiny. Most people don't want to use the V2 client because, to them, it's too great a departure from the interface they've been used to for 2, 3, 4, 7 years. So, what's the former 'Emerald' flock to do? (O.o)

Mind you... That's a pretty big darned flock. (=_=)

At this moment Linden Lab's Third Party Viewer Directory list has 13 clients of varying types. The most visible and shiny being Phoenix, Emergence, Kirsten's, Ascent, and Imprudence. All of which have VERY different user interfaces! DX

From the approach of 'sticking to V1-4life!!' to 'making V2 my way'... From client to client; buttons, menus, and options are all over the place! In addition, most of these clients are still open beta or hobby projects. So they're not totally stable, not all features work 100%, some features are flat-out missing, and worst of all... providing help in Second Life is mired in the new complexity this diversity introduces. (>_<)

As someone who likes to be knowledge and helpful, I'd often have the top 2 or 3 clients installed on my computer and keep up with the updates as they came out... Usually spending a day on each then going back to my personal favorite until someone has a major update. (^_^)

That was easy back in the days of Cool Viewer, Emerald, Imprudence, and LL's offering. The UIs were generally equal, knowing each client meant knowing the LL base functions plus whatever the TPV devs added. Problems would filter down and I'd just have to take note of what I hear from frustrated users to come up with solutions for each client. (^_^)

But now... DX

LL's V2 UI is a giant departure from what people have experienced for the past 7 years. Mind you, it's a departure I appreciate. It's more of a "computer" UI to me, which I can absorb and adopt easily as opposed to the "video game" UI that I struggled in with the V1 clients. Still... It's a departure and not all TPV devs have utilized it. For the ones who have, it often gets heavily modified. (._.)

And, that's where the problem comes in with the TPV clients. They're modding like crazy. So, when it comes time to provide help...

[2010/09/05 14:01] ** **: where is "Disable Camera Constrains" in Imprudence viewer?

[2010/09/11 18:41] ** **: I am using snowglobe. how do I manage these chat screens.. there annoying

[2010/09/11 18:42] ** **: imprudence has a different font

[2010/09/11 18:42] ** **: Yeah, it needs some tweaks, which is why I was on Kirstens, but that kept crashing on me.

[2010/09/11 18:52] ** **: someone told me there is a spell checker in Imprudence viewer..how the eff do u turn it on

[2010/09/11 20:45] ** **: Blech. By default, Imprudence still tries to save inventory scripts as LSO. Whyyyyyy. ._.

[2010/09/11 20:45] Imnotgoing Sideways: Mono makes teleporting evil. (._.)

[2010/09/11 20:59] ** **: I was just talking to my mom and wondering why phoenix debug menu wont stop my typin


.... And I have NO BLOODY CLUE how to respond to these things. I like to help, people come to me for assistance, but I just can't seem to keep up with the influx of different clients in SL. (._.)

As a result, much of last night's Q&A event was more a round-table of us trying to find who learned what on which client and if it addresses the issues that another person has. No two people were in the same version of the same TPV and all we could do was simply try our darndest to provide as complete a solution as possible. (._.)

Even for my building classes... Stupid silly things like "Select Texture" being renamed "Select Face" is enough to suck precious minutes from the lesson so that the diverse mix&match user base can proceed. (._.)

What's a helper and educator to do? Add disclaimers to events for which clients are supported for each lesson? Hope to bloody'ek that LL works with the TPV devs in collaboration and come up with a reasonable compromise in UI standardization? (O.o)

It's work. SL is supposed to be fun. Meh... I'm going inworld to build myself a micro avatar. I'll be using V2 due to it being my personal favorite UI. Don't mind me. (._.)

Meet the... WTF!?! (O.o)

I met E-famous people tonight. =^-^=

We were just kinda hanging out in our sim and Frac dropped in to say "hi". We poked at him for a while to make sure he was still squishy and had a chat. Eventually he went AFK in forever and someone dunked him in the water. (._.)



So, he comes back for a moment and gets back out of the drink. But, not long later a buncha people start landing on his head. Lots of familiar names too. I guess they had a lot to say to Frac, but, I don't run with voice on, so, meh... (=_=)



Then... Uhm... Arabella shows up. Dang! She's taller than I expected! She's nice, though. Had a good chat with her and offered well wishes over the situation down in that area, considering the earth quake and all. (._.)



It was kinda fun... Given our only plans for the night pretty much involved standing around and maybe critiquing each other's clothing. (^_^)

It was like a flash mob of Emerald drama just kinda blew through the sim! =^-^=

Doing something.

I just went home early from work for the first time in probably four years.

Called the hospital.

Arranged to see a therapist in one hour from now.

Scared out if my wits.

I have actually muted someone. (._.)

No "Hi"... No "Good evening" or what ever applies to the time zone... Just this. (T_T)

[2010/09/02 17:31] Exa Ella: what is your name btw
[2010/09/02 17:31] Imnotgoing Sideways: ...
[2010/09/02 17:32] Imnotgoing Sideways: Imnotgoing Sideways. Though, I prefer to go by "Immy". (._.)
[2010/09/02 17:32] Exa Ella: rl
[2010/09/02 17:32] Exa Ella: my name is rich
[2010/09/02 17:33] Imnotgoing Sideways: I have consistently stated that I will not share RL information. Is that so hard to understand? (T_T)
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: yes
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: because it is odd unless you have something to hide
[2010/09/02 17:33] Exa Ella: you will lose me as a friend unless you stop being so secretive
[2010/09/02 17:34] Imnotgoing Sideways: Okay. Muted. (>_<)
[2010/09/02 17:34] Exa Ella: even someone who works for the FBI wouldn't act like that

Really? FREAKING REALLY? (T_T)

Catch-22?

I'm trying to make an appointment for a psychological evaluation. (._.)

I forgot my HMO account password. (._.)

The web site won't Email me a update link. (._.)

It's telling me I have to call in by phone and request a new password to be sent by mail. (._.)

I currently can't use a telephone without having some sort of anxiety attack. (._.)

Why do they think I'm trying to make an appointment for a psychological evaluation? (T_T)

How often do you say "My avatar"? (O.o)

It just kind of sprung on me right now. I left a post earlier today where I said "I don't have any eyes". The fact of the matter is that 'my avatar' doesn't have any eyes. But, unthinkingly, I speak as though it's myself. (O.o)

Now, I've made it pretty clear that I totally identify as "Immy" with my often repeated statement: Immy is my me that's more "me" than I can ever be. But, I'm just having a major "woah!" moment in referring to my virtual "me" as "I". (o.O)

So, a question: Have you ever had that "woah!" moment? When referring to your avatar, is it "I, me, my"? Or, is it "my avatar"? (^_^)

Or, should I lay off the glue for a while? (^_^)y

To distract myself... (._.) ... A little story. (^_^)

Email has a "Reply To All" button. It's good because there are times when an Email discussion needs to continue to involve all parties, it's a single click away. (^_^)

But, when a company-wide announcement comes out, Reply To All is the Satan's spawn of Email servers world wide. (>_<)

Of course, now people know to include in company-wide announcements, "Please don't reply to all" in order to spare everyone the spamming of little "congratulations" when the CEO's nephew gets promoted to Senior Director of Scratching His Butt In A Cushy Office. (^_^)

But, of course, not everyone reads and follows such requests. Thusly, the company continues to be spammed. "Congratulations!!!" =^-^=

Then there's the hero... The one who replies asking that people stop using Reply To All... Of course, in a Reply To All message. (=_=)

But, we're not finished yet. There's still that last person to reply to our glorious Reply To All saviour by sending a message saying "THANK YOU!!!!".... In a Reply To All message. (O,o)

Will we ever survive the Martian onslaught? (^_^)y

Now I see...

This has nothing to do with money.

I just bought an organ that cost as much as a car.

I can afford it, so, nothing changed.

But, now, I'm being begged to go to church.

Now I know what to do with myself.

This has nothing to do with money.

Where I am

I have been married for nearly 12 years. I have been an introvert for far longer.

Within the first two years of my marriage, I had to quit the band I was playing bass in, quit my job with the guitar shop, give up any frequent visits with the two people I still considered friends since leaving high school, convert to Catholicism and get baptized, and generally relegate my life to things that allow me to be 'in touch' at all times.

My only escape was work.

My only retreat was business trips.

I went on a trip to China last week. But, something different happened this time. I made a friend. A very smart, attractive, and nice friend. A friend who wound up deeply disappointed to discover that I was married. A friend, none the less. We're still chatting on Skype... Time zones allowing.

With that, I think I've discovered the difference between being alone and being lonely.

I'm not free yet. But, I am making changes. Eventually, the life I'm living must come to an end somehow. I want to escape. I need to escape. I not only have my own wall to break down, but, there's an additional barrier put up by my spouse which is the real nightmare.

I still don't know exactly what to do. I've had many friends and co-workers tell me "just get out". But, it's easier said than done. Though, last week's events have helped my confidence. I think I have the energy to free myself. I just need to know what to do and how to do it.

I've been in the cage so long. Even if someone were to open the door for me, I'm afraid I've lost awareness enough to actually step out. What is the move to make? What are the words to use?

I'm working on it.

Doing a touch of comment cleanup. (^_^)

I deleted many of the spam comments from the blog as they weren't much more than periods hyperlinked to asian porn sites... And, they weren't even good sites. (._.)

I'm going to leave comments open to Google registered posters without moderation for now. It's a small blog. No harm done. (^_^)y

Doggies in kidland =^-^=

Currently there's this one bloody thread in the SL Blogorum. It OP'd with a lady expressing her hatred for kid avatars. Though, her "hatred" wasn't really much more than annoyance over annoying people. Heck... Even kid avatars hate the kid avatars she describes. (^_^)

Of course, there's the typical run of chime-ins by people who want to spout about their false pretenses over pedophilia and such... And the people who still think there's some sort of political agenda in keeping kid AVs on the grid. Oh, and let's not forget the kid avatars who really do portray themselves as outspoken and positive contributing residents to SL (Waving at ya' Mari!) (^_^)

But, now we have teh trollzorz! Xd

Namely one Dogboat Taurog. Now, name alone tells me not to take this bugger seriously... Much like myself and that bloody "Sideways" name. =^-^=

But, here's the fun part: He's "CAMPAIGNING" for an all out ban on child avatars. Yes, the total "LOL WUT?" session, all the way. Apparently, he subscribes to the worst form of Association Fallacy known to man. The one that believes that he's heard remotely of one kind of person being bad so it's time to paint the whole community with a broad brush and somehow put them in their place. (^_^)

See... For one, he doesn't seem to care about any form of actual child abuse. Being that he hasn't mentioned any concern of that level at all. In addition, he won't even focus on sexual ageplayers. Lacking focus is a surefire way to fail at a goal. No. His target? The ENTIRE child avatar community. Oh, and for a moment, me along with it... You know, he directly threatened to AR me based on some speculative statement by someone parroting Prokkie's rantings of your's truly. =^-^=

So, now what? What's the hubbub? Why bother? (^_^)

Well... He's bloody entertaining. It's like prodding the village drunk and watching him stumble down the street. And, since LL's moderators seem to be asleep behind the wheel, the thread's able to trudge on without any resistance. (^_^)

It's times like this when I love delusional people. They make such entertaining toys. (^_^)y

http://blogs.secondlife.com/thread/27560?start=0&tstart=0

(Be sure to read the thread in "Flat" mode... "Threaded" mode will practically crash your browser.) =^-^=

Happy birthday to who? (O.o)

I spent a bit of Monday touring the SL7B sims. I checked out Unexpected Childhoods, the RHN display, and of course NCI. (^_^)

I did notice a bit of a reduction in lag for the places that didn't have as many avatars. People are getting used to the idea that not every texture has to be alpha-glow-shiny-of-death. (^_^)

The overall continent is as expected. Everyone's there showing their community or their artwork. Almost like an annual tradition, nipples are causing controversy again. So, it's yet another SL birthday. (^_^)

There's one island that got to me, though. SL7B Bear Island. (>_<) Yes, I know it's fun to collect Linden Bears and such... I have quite a few myself. But, there were some things there that really hit me as tactless flubs, considering recent events. (._.)

To start... Blue. (._.)



It felt very strange to see a roughly down-scaled version of Blue Linden's avatar being presented there. Especially considering the avatar, himself, is no longer in existence due to a downsizing of LL's staff. (._.)

Then camming around the other bears...



Really? (T_T)

I know the feeling of being laid off of work and the idea that my own effort or image would be presented along with such a gag would hit hard. (>_<) Really, it was almost enough to ruin the whole tour of the place. I almost lost interest in visiting any more 7B related builds. Seeing so many bears representative of the good people of Linden Lab who were off'd by staff reductions was just such a downer. Especially the ones who used their inworld AVs so often and engaged the community to improve, explore, and expand SL to what it is today. (>_<)

Visiting the place just left me cold. (._.)

I'd like to think I can still have close friends... (._.)

... But, it seems like all the disasters start once I become close to someone. (._.)

I've had friendships in SL for over two years now. Each of them being someone totally different from the others. Some come and go. Others are IM-only affairs. While others I've grown to depend on for direct companionship. The problem is, I'm afraid I depend on them too much. I'm asking for too much attention from too few people. (._.)

I may seem open, but, I'm deathly afraid to approach people. I can talk to strangers, but, only after they approach me. I have to drive myself very hard to be able to approach another. There are very very few people who have ever seen a friend request from me because I'm simply too afraid to be so bold as to offer the invite. (._.)

If all things... Frigg'n Immy is shy. (T_T)

At the same time, I'm quite lonely. I depend on group chats and crowded events for my company. I cling tightly to anyone I can connect with in fear that I won't see them return if we ever part ways. Every day is my last. If I miss the opportunity to be with the people I like now, what other opportunity will I get? (T_T)

Of course... I obsess. I expect too much. Someone TPs me over and asks me to keep them company and all I find is idleness. I can't handle idleness. There's one problem... (T_T)

[2010/06/13 21:37] Imnotgoing Sideways: I'll go to bed.
[2010/06/13 21:37] ** **: Hmm already?
[2010/06/13 21:38] Imnotgoing Sideways: What else could I do?
[2010/06/13 21:39] ** ** : Keep -- occupied while I poke my head in and out
[2010/06/13 21:39] Second Life: ** ** has offered to teleport you to their location:

... only to confront this...

Its not that you have problem generating [fun], its that you seem to need a constant stream of activity.

When most others are content being idle.

So, upon accepting a teleport in order to "occupy" someone, I'm told that I'm trying to be too active. To me, that comes as a "sit down, shut up, be seen, and not heard"... It hits hard.

I've been told this far too often. While being told to not worry, that I fit in, and that everyone is 'okay' with me... I also get descriptions of the the how and why I don't fit in. To me, it's a matter of actions speaking louder than words. And, it grates on me. It drives me to the point of meltdowns where I do a ton of stupid things. (._.)

So, here I am... In the middle of another meltdown. Alone, scared, cold, and bored. Wasting my Saturday by walking around in circles and infrequently peeking at the agent count in my sim to see if there is anybody I can send my camera to just in case there's something to watch. (T_T)

In wanting to be active, I've become idle. In wanting to be social, I've discovered a pattern of self isolation. I don't know the way out.

I want friends.

I want to know what it means to have friends.

I don't want to be like this.

I don't know what to expect or not to expect. I don't know if I can handle the mixed messages I get. I want friends, but, I don't know how to be a friend. I can chat with people I don't know at all just fine. But once they get to know me, something goes haywire. Is it simply because they finally see the kind of person I am? Have I crossed any lines or reached any points of no return? I wish I knew. I wish I could know. (T_T)

I'm not smart enough to understand what the heck is going on. And, at this point, all I ever get are confusing half-speeches that I'm left to decipher or "not twist" into something I can't possibly understand. At this point, I'm alone. RL and SL. In both places, I'm in a dark room. In both places, I'm afraid to venture out. In both places, I'm in utter fear that I'll have another meltdown again.

There's nothing I can do.

I'm losing everything.

There isn't much left.

I don't know what I've done.

I don't know what to do.

llSetFriggnImmy();

I'm getting very sick of what I've turned into lately. I'm pulling my hair out. My friends are pulling their hair out. Heck, even people who don't like me are trying to figure out what's going on.

I know what I want to do with myself. But, I lack the strength. I need something. A trigger? A catalyst? I don't know what.

I spent a lot of today on my drums (in RL) beating the crud out of them. My ears are shot for the rest of the day. I finally downloaded Cage The Elephant from Amazon and I've been listening to In One Ear over and over.

I'm trying to get the message.

I know my friends want me back. I want me back too.

How do I come back?

What direction do I go?

I need Need NEED to get out of this funk.

I'm frigg'n Immy!!!

I can be the biggest little crud on the grid if I just get my head together.

But, what's going to be the catalyst? How am I going to get my confidence back? Where did I go so wrong and how can I put that behind me?

Working on this.

Hating myself for killing the Emoticons. Finding delays when I backspace them out of chat.

Going to go say "Hi" to someone on my friends list now and see what comes of it. I'm rarely that bold.

I've run out of smiles.

My Google Alert results on my AV name returned me a link to a Greasemonkey source site where someone submitted a script designed to remove my emoticons from my forum posts.

This, combined with drama being stirred in my inworld friendships and what seems to be a general consensus drives me to one conclusion.

The emoticons started as a chat board gag when people were bugging me about my punctuation and capitalization. I'm a skilled typist. I don't chat in 1337 or txtish. I make complete sentences and punctuate them properly. People reacted as if I was slowing down chat or making it hard to keep up. As a result, I responded to them by embellishing my chat with emotes. A sort of showing off my own typing speed even when proper grammar and spelling were used.

In time, the emotes defined my chat. I was able to reflexively utilize a roster of different appearances to indicate my current mood and intent for each line I wrote. Anyone who has chatted with me inworld in SL, in Gtalk, or remembers me from prior AIM and YIM accounts, in addition to co-workers reading my lighter Emails can attest that they've never slowed me down.

But, of all places, SL and SL related forums; I've received a lot of flak for using them. I came to SL to create the social life I never had. In effect, it seems I was never meant to have a social life, as what I've developed here is almost as bad as my experience in high school.

So, to me, it's "Your world. Your imagination. Just not you."

Part of me is shutting down.

I hope someone receives pleasure from this.

@Prokofy - You're jumping at shadows. (=_=)

RE: Put Mute and Block in Avatars United

It's becoming far more obvious that I'm banned from commenting on Second Thoughts because Prok wants to hide the truth. (=_=)

I have never offered you a friend request. I don't want to be your friend. And, I have never done anything "repeatedly" upon you. You call, I respond. You lie, I clarify. You scream "conspiracy", I say "shut up!". (=_=)

So... I wake up to this in my offlines:

[23:17] Cristalle Karami: I don't know what you did to Prok, but he has mistaken me for your alt.
[23:21] Cristalle Karami: thinks I'm harassing him and stalking him, and he muted me when i had a legitimate business question.

All apologies to Cristalle for the use of her name. (._.)

I will reply to her directly once I get inworld and let her know the kind of paranoid and dishonest freak you are. (=_=)

Prok; you want me muted so your lies go unchallenged. I will continue to challenge your lies. Plugging your ears and going "commie-commie-commie-commie-commie" will get you nowhere. (=_=)

A Reply From Scout.

I'm placing this here just in case the reply is deleted.

Reference: Second Thoughts

"As for service and soldiering if he is playing that card he needs to post his name, rank, unit, home base, commander, xo, and first sergeant for verification purposes."

Who would you be to make any verification? Is this situation really that important that I need to disclose my chain of command so that you can discuss my alleged online video game crimes with my "boss"?

If you can name actual events where I have been cited in violation of the TOS, while employed by the military, then sure by all means, go ahead, email me and I'll give you their names. There is none. What I do with my personal time is up to me as long as it does not bring discredit on the Military. Building a refrigerator, which is in accordance with the TOS, like all of my actions, is in no way bringing discredit upon anyone.

My command would look at this and comment like those of "AnnOtoole" with confusion and probably ignore it. Woodbury has as much to do with real communism as playing counterstrike as the Soviet side does. People play as the OPFOR in video games all the time, with far more defamation, use of foul language, and inhumane comments than you'll ever find in typical Woodbury conversation. There is no agenda, manifesto or guidelines for building and playing a game the way Woodbury does. There is no real world conspiracy here.

People know what I am like in real life, and you only know how I was when I had time to play Second Life, which was ages ago and lately in no capacity (logging on 30 seconds at a time on a 14k connection is no way to "play"). People will ultimately choose to judge the person they know in the real world, and measure me by my merits and values.

I said my piece, and I also asked Prokofy to remove my website and real name from the letter so as not to invade on the privacy of myself and my Wife. A test of Prokofy's values. Is it worth slandering my real character for your article, or can you leave that out of it.

Scout.

"There is no real world conspiracy here." (>_<)

Woodbury University Gone. Does anyone care? (._.)

RE: http://blogs.secondlife.com/message/185656

I do. (._.)

I was first introduced to the group by Scout back when NCI was getting raided by W-hats. We were dealing with a particularly abusive mob when Aley/Arcadia came back as an alt to see how things were going. That day I joined the group and was introduced to some of the most intelligent, creative, and fun-loving people I've ever met... Who are unafraid to have a good stupid laugh. (^_^)

I stood my ground for the good people of the group when I faced being shunned for association in a situation that nearly dismantled NCI. (>_<)

I called bloggers on their lies in regards to the activities of my friends and myself in relation to the group. (>_<)

I'd visit the sandbox once in a while and I enjoyed the gifts of scripts, outfits, pictures, textures, and other creative offerings that were given out in group notices. The place was beautiful. From highly detailed and imposing military weaponry, to well crafted vehiciles, to sim-scale construction projects that were marvels of quality, effeciency, and ingenuity. (^_^)

But. That's gone now. Anyone who could have gone to Concierge support about it has been summarily terminated. The sims are shut down. The mainland parcels have been force-abandoned. And the group, itself, has been technically deleted. It's currently in the limbo-ish state that the SL Mentors group was in when that group was purged. (._.)

So, who cares? People like me who saw beyond the facade of fearmongering and old-world politics. I will find other ways to contact my friends. Still... A chill has hit the grid. Second Life has become a little less fun this week. (T_T)

SL RP - The making of a persocom. <(^_^)>

So... What's this funny stuff on my head? What's all this talk about recharging, CPU, and interfaces? What is a persocom? (^_^)

The simple answer is that a Persocom is a "Personal Computer" in Japanese-ish. Okay, end of story. Bye now. =^-^=



But... That didn't look like a desktop of any kind. (O.o)

It's Chii, of the story Chobits. A Japanese lolicon Manga turned Anime published and broadcast around 2001 and 2002. The story revolves around a parallel of today's modern times with one caveat, computers are now constructed in humanoid form... And, they're bloody expensive! DX

Having computers in humanoid form, the story was able to weave a tale of criticism about people's addiction and "love" for technology without making the story too heavy. At the same time, the key players in the story were able to be presented in a love tale that parallels taboo relationships and learning to accept people for who they are. (^_^)

You can read more about Chobits by following the Manga or checking out the Wikipedia site. (^_^)

Uhm... Where does Second Life come in? (O.o)

In Second Life, it's become quite obvious that we can make our avatars into anything. As I've been exploring, I've turned from kid AV, to adult AV, to mermaid, and I've recently settled on Persocom. I spend a lot of my time on a dollification sim named The Doll Works and many of my friends have taken on some sort of doll, gynoid, or Persocom form. (^_^)

So, in SL, when you hear "Human" you expect to see a regular flesh&bones being. When you hear "Furry" you expect some sort of fuzzy anthro. What should you expect to see when you hear "Persocom"? ... (O.o)

That gets difficult. (^_^)

See... In the story of Chobits, Persocoms were shown to take on many forms. From a perfectly natural 16 year old girl, to an 8 year old boy, to a lingerie clad housemaid, to a palm-sized genie. What, what can a Persocom be? Anything! (^o^)

And, that's the best part. While some people think they have to limit themselves to a certain type or ear-pod or eye pattern, the truth is Persocoms have taken on designs of any form an type. Even the ear pods can be dynamic. There were a few Persocoms in the Chobits story that didn't appear to have pods at all. So, it's not all about what you bulk up on your head. =^-^=

At the same time, there is an attractive "Cyber" aspect to Persocoms. The idea of having USB cables flailing around, needing charging cycles to remain mobile, or even including blatantly obvious sensory systems are all possibilities. (^_^)

In addition, being a Persocom pretty much makes for no-limits roleplay. In the story, plenty of hints were laid out to indicate that Persocoms in general were constructed to be anatomically correct. So, stripping your Persocom of its clothing would reveal... *ahem!*... hardware (software?). =^-^=

So, hey! That's what I've been doing for a while. I haven't taken on the "Chii" image Persocom much as I've tended to prefer a more retro appearance using some customized items I got from LPP. So... Look for the ear pods to be on top of my head, coolant pipes to litter my back, and hollowed out eyes revealing a roster of vacuum tubes and a pair of web-cams to fill out my optical needs. (^_^)

Most of the time, I often describe myself as a "cyberdoll" simply because it's a more broadly grasped term. But, none the less, I'm reenacting one of my favorite characterizations to ever fill my Manga shelf. (^_^)y

LULZing at teh edumacatered ones. =^-^=

I just finished a project to prove that the R&D team screwed up on the backlight inverter design. I was assisted partially by a nearby engineer just to be sure I was getting things right. The experiment lasted about a week and was a matter of me tuning an alternative inverter so that it would stably deliver the peak current allowed to maintain the 50kH lifetime the bulb specifies. (^_^)

This engineer has been consistently confrontational and spent a lot of time discouraging each stage of the process by pointing out that he believes I lack the experience to properly manage the tasks to come. (=_=)

I just sent out images of the final waveforms comparing my modded circuit to an off-the-shelf unmodded board. (^_^)

He sends me an Email. "This is why we need someone from R&D present. Some of these waveforms are completely unacceptable." DX

I respond. "I know. Those 'unacceptable' wave forms are from the default unmodified circuit." XD

BCC to his boss. =^-^=

Anyway... Who could turn down freebies like this? ...

... That are THIS FREAKING CUTE!!! XD



Now... Where mah BDSM at?! =^-^=

Mincing words over words. (^_^)

In reply to a comment here:

A cuff is an extra layer of fabric at the lower edge of the sleeve of a garment covering the arms. In US usage the word may also refer to the end of the leg of a pair of trousers. The functional purpose of turned cuffs is to protect the material from fraying and, when frayed, to allow the cuffs to be repaired or replaced without major changes to the garment.

Cuffs may be made by turning back the material, or a separate band of material may be sewn on or worn separately attached by buttons or studs. A cuff may show an ornamental border, or have an addition of lace or other trimming.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuff

If Prokkie would just un-ban me from his blargh... Oh well. He likes being wrong and silencing voices of dissent. (^_^)y

The makings of PG BDSM? (^_^)

In response to this blog post... (^_^)

Linden Lab has given us a glimpse of the new New User Experience via DiscoveryIslandPublic. In this island is little mentions of what SL is about. In it, there's a freebie store of some items made by some very reputable content creators in my point of view. (^_^)

One of them is Curious Kitties. They're a great maker of outfits for EGL, Elf, Furry, Goth, and Child AV outfits. Most clothing has a dark and simple theme. The avatars and skins are surely Asian influenced. And, overall, it's a fun store/sim to visit. (^_^)

So, Linden Lab sees this popularity and decides to offer some of the store's items to the new resident public for free. Nothing wrong with that, no? I know I nabbed ALL the outfits. =^-^=



So... What's the harm in that? Well... Teh mad blogger decided arm bands and a puffy neck shirt is BDSM gear. ORLY? (O.o)

So, gothy fashion clothing that's available on a PG sim in a PG store and now made available for free on a PG new resident region is BDSM gear? Meh. Someone's gotta change their meds. (^_^)y

Alec smells. =^-^=

... Just saying. (^_^)y

Chronology of a "Reduced Price" (^_^)

This was too LULZy to let slide. I had a good laugh. =^-^=

I sent my senior tech out to buy us some network cards and he did so (good boy!). I couldn't help but laugh at what he came back with. Sure, it was nothing more special than a box of PCI network cards, but it was the price tags that made me scratch my head. (O.o)



Okay... So, it was $14.99 and they reduced the price to $14.24. But, wait... The "Reduced Price" label was placed UNDER the shrink wrap. So... The price was reduced BEFORE the actual price tag was applied? (o.O)

Hang on... I see more than one sticker. The box looks like it has a stack... I must investigate... (=_=)



DOOOD! DX

The reduced price prior to the current reduced price was $13.99. So, the current reduced price isn't a reduced price at all. It's a jacked up price! DX

Add to that, all this is happening BELOW the shrink wrap. If anything, that $14.99 price tag is the most recent label to be put on the thing. How long ago was it $13.99? (=_=)

Hang on... There's just one more sticker to go... (o.o)



Okay! So the first time the price was "reduced" it was $14.24... Just like it is now. =^-^=

But... How long ago was this? And, why is this whole mess under the shrink wrap? (O.o)

Something smells and it's not the tunafish sandwich I wear under each arm... (=_=)

Land ownership, fairness, and you. (^_^)y

I'm just reflecting on what I've been reading and responding to on the SL Blogorum lately. (^_^)y

All land in SL is privately owned. That is to say, the servers are property of Linden Research, Inc. and are occupied by land holders who have funded the establishment, use, and support of the resources the virtual land takes advantage of on the servers. None of which is public domain or a matter of funding beyond the 'owner', tier payer, or premium account holder. (^_^)

That said, it's simple; My place, my rules. =^-^=

I'm seeing post, upon post, upon post from people crying foul over being parcel, sim, and estate banned. More than half aren't even asking for a solution. They're just spouting off at the mouth about how "unfair" or "unjust" their ban is... To the point of sounding like they have some sort of "right" to be somewhere and as if they deserve the privilege by default. (=_=)

Well... Sorry to break it to y'all. But, you ain't entitled to go everywhere. Deal with it. (=_=)

Land owners spill a bunch of money, work, and effort into the land they own. So, they're the ones who deserve the break when it comes to the spending of the resource they've earned. Each and every sim you visit is just that... A place you're visiting. You're the guest. With or without a gracious host, you're subject to being a welcome guest or shown the virtual door. Anything you say, do, appear to do, be, or appear to be; can and will be used against you. (^_^)

There is no "justice". Just like there is no "justice" for someone poorer than me deciding to take up camp in my garden shed. The same rule is extended to our little digital parcels placed here before us. (^_^)

At the same time... Don't drag the Lindens into your little pissing matches. The TOS/CS states quite clearly that Lindens won't get involved in resident disputes. If you're at a loss over what that means, think of it this way; Did the OTHER person violate the TOS/CS? If not, you're on your own. =^-^=

There are thousands of regions to see in SL. If you cant get to a dozen or so, who bloody cares? There's always somewhere else. And, if there's nowhere else, buy your own land and ban the world back. (^_^)y

I'm blogging from a prim. =^-^=

Yes... A prim in Second Life is displaying the page that I'm typing into just as interactively as a generally good browser. It's updating in real time and the perspective angle is making me a bit dizzy. (O.o)

Just posting this 'cuz I can. =^-^=

A Response To: "Mainstream" Faculty and Virtual Worlds

In a Strange Land: Some Thoughts About "Mainstream" Faculty and Virtual Worlds

Reading this article... It makes me wonder about something... I'm double posting my comment here just because I find it interesting. =^-^=

The conclusion I'm seeing: Educators are choosing to avoid using the Second Life virtual world as a platform due to the complexity of the interface. You're citing examples such as the 'Advanced' menu and scripting.

This sparks a question to me. Why do you think you have to go at it on your own?

So you can't script. This is true for many computer users. Yet, we run applications all day, every day, which were written by other people. The same market can and does exist in SL. Surely, it's not as corporate and 'professional' as Microsoft. But, if you can't script a slide-show projector; there is probably one available or you can contract a scriptor to make one for you. Building falls under this category, as well.

Also... The Advanced menu? Is there anything in there that's genuinely necessary? For regular day-to-day usage, I see nothing in the Advanced menu that serves a purpose. I would not weigh that feature in with any of the aspects of the learning curve of SL.

So, yes, there is a steep learning curve. But, I see that it's there because people are diving in head-first, reading a sliver of documentation, and expecting it to naturally just work without any experienced consultation.

I would compare this to hosting my own Email server. I simply don't know how. I've never set up an SMTP/POP server before. I don't know how to register a domain name. I'm not sure if I can gather up the hardware to build a computer I'd be willing to leave on 24/7 with suitable enough stability to manage any impending Email traffic.

So... What do I do? I find someone who knows how. In my personal life, I found Google's Email service to be quite nice. Professionally, I have an IT department hired to build, manage, and maintain a whole slew of online services. All I have to do is pay them to get it right and come to them with I'm faced with a problem.

SL is a bit deceptive this way. It's an Information Technology like any other, but, our mindsets think it's something far more natural. As a result, we unconsciously don't expect the process to by anything like adopting a technology.

I see a job description coming from this... Someone who has adapted to 'life' in a virtual world, knows the ins&outs, and can be relied upon on a professional basis to support productive use of the space. Just like the garage nerds of the 1980s... A new generation of marginalized nerd. The world doesn't see them yet, but, they're here now. Eventually, they'll come out of the woodwork, people will regret not investing in them sooner, and technological/cultural history will repeat itself all over again. (^_^)y

"Face" redux...

I've had a conversation with my closest friend yesterday... In varying degrees. Both inworld and out. It sounds like the bulk ignore was her idea. She's a bit worried that I took the issue to the forums. She considers just about everything I do out here as some sort of self abuse. (>_<)

To me, the forums are the places I go to talk to people when there's nobody else to talk to. Given time zones and other peoples' busy lives, I turn here often. (._.)

She's very disappointed that I'm asking people to do the thinking for me... Moreso that I'm using people that don't all like me. She's worried that I'll focus on the negative messages and use them to further reinforce my "anti self" point of view. (>_<)

[2010/02/12 6:08] ** **: You need to learn not to over analyze your happiness
[2010/02/12 6:08] ** **: Otherwise you make things all crumbly

She has demanded that I request friendship from everyone again and gave me a few names to add on top of that. For the ones I've known to go online, I think they've all accepted. Still, I need to work out how to behave. (T_T)

It may be nice to have a collection of names on a friends list, but, how do I be a friend? I really don't know what part of spending time around me is a positive experience, so, the value of having me around is lost on me. It's this thinking that usually drives me to a panic. (>_<)

So, what I think I've done now is hit the 'reset' button on things. I'm afraid we'll enter another calm before another storm which will eventually lead to the same outcome all over again...

[2010/02/12 6:09] Imnotgoing Sideways: How does this stop?
[2010/02/12 6:10] Imnotgoing Sideways: How can i stop?
[2010/02/12 6:11] ** **: It's hard to say Immy
[2010/02/12 6:13] ** **: You need to believe in yourself a little more you know
[2010/02/12 6:13] Imnotgoing Sideways: That's extremely difficult.
[2010/02/12 6:14] ** **: Modesty is all due and well but you should recognize as ** put it somewhat, you're quite loved by the community
[2010/02/12 6:15] Imnotgoing Sideways: Why do I feel like it's unearned?
[2010/02/12 6:15] ** **: Because you're a bit like me
[2010/02/12 6:15] ** **: anything you do that others seem as "special" to you just feels "normal"

Anyway. Here I am. Loaded friends list again and working on re-working my profile again. I thank you all for the feedback. Please continue to say what's on your mind if you wish and forgive me for being so bold and obtuse about my stupid little drama. (T_T)

For me, right now, counseling is not an option. I'm sure the time, money, and insurance is there. I'm just not willing to take my life down the path of "professional intervention". Call me stupid for saying so. That's just where my mind is set. Excuse me for being hard headed. (>_<)

I'm still in a state of panic at this point. I don't know how to approach, act, behave, or present myself to people right now. I'm still over-analyzing my place in the scheme of things. I'm working this out. I'm trying. I want to be a friend to my friends. (._.)

'A face only a mother could love' syndrome

It’s an old saying. “He/she has a face only a mother could love.” That is to say, the person is ugly, plain and simple. But, what does this say about the mother? Being a mother, she loves unconditionally. The ugly child is her child and hers alone. So, mother will sacrifice everything in order to love her child. Even if it means raising a person that looks like undercooked pizza. (>_<)



What am I talking about? I think I’m making an example of my friendships. (T_T)



I have a group of friends. People I’ve known for about two years. While everyone else has come and gone, they’ve stuck around. Here’s the part I’ve never understood, though... Why? (>_<)



Anyone who has seen me inworld or on the forums sees that I have all the charm of a badger with a lit firecracker up its butt. I’ve never been exceptionally creative or smart in any way. I’m very self-centered, normally forgetting things like rez days and even names. I rarely if not never give anything away. I never give gifts. Holiday or not. (>_<)



At the same time, I tend to distance myself from them. Not that I want to, I just see that my place and role is more that of the unseen spectator. My presence usually impedes conversation and activity. At the same time, my distance is creepy and annoying. But, I can’t just go away. I like being around them. (T_T)



It’s like catch-22 for me. (._.)



So, over the past month I’ve distanced myself again. The reaction this time has been a full blackout. They’ve all placed me on ignore in Gtalk. A few aren’t logging on when they know I’ll be on. Since I scrubbed them from my friends list as part of the process I don’t know when they’re on and they can’t find me. (._.)



Why did it turn out this way? I think I have an odd trust issue. When I don’t know people and they’re not blindly complimenting me, I feel like I can trust them to no end. But, as time goes by, I see people that stick around and I start to question their reasoning. Have they grown attached enough that they’ve become blind to my failings? Have I made it impossible for them to seek out other friendships? I begin to liken my relationship with people to that of a parasite. I wind up demanding too much attention from too few people. The only solution I see is: remove the infection. (>_<)



So, now, one or two of them ask when I’m willing to change and come back. I fear their reaching out to me is some sort of masochistic urge to re-enter the same old cycle again. I feel as though it’s not my place to interfere with their time inworld. But, catch-22 again, if I stay where I’m at they’re disrupted by my absence... If I return to friendship again they’re disrupted by my presence. But, like a mother, none of them will admit that I’m any kind of problem… Or at least they’re not telling it to my face. (T_T)



So, here I am, giving a handful of SL residents hell and no easy way out. I don’t see a positive outcome from any option I think I have. Should I go back, be a friend again, and restart the cycle? Should I maintain my limited distance which probably disrupts them just as much as my presence? Should I disappear completely and find new friends? Should I do something to seal a negative opinion of me so that they’re not bothered by my absence? Are they bothered by my absence at all? (>_<)



These are all nice people. I can’t assume they don’t have more friends. It would be very arrogant of me to assume that they depend on me for anything. At the same time, I like them. I don’t want to be alone but I also don’t want to be trouble. I don’t really have anything in common with them. At the same time, I’m interested in the things they do. I’m just too afraid to engage myself and generated fear in the others who are afraid of how I’ll react to every word they say. I can’t imagine them actually choosing to live with that. (T_T)



I want friends. But, it seems to me that I’m simply not meant to be around people. Should I accept the place I’ve been put in? Have I worn out my welcome? Is the mass-ignore pretty much the message I need to go away? Should I accept that I’ve gone too far? (._.)

Okay... Now what? (._.)

I done did it. I got that Avatars United profile thing done. See? (^_^)

http://www.avatarsunited.com/avatars/imnotgoing-sideways

I have something like 130-or-so friends listed there... Some of them I actually know. (^_^)

I've shouted. (^_^)

I've joined groups. (^_^)

I've installed some gadgets. (^_^)

I've posted some pictures. (^_^)

I found out that search can only really find first names. (^_^)

... Now what? (O.o)

Interwebz behind a red curtain (._.)

So… Here I am, RL, in China. Immy’s keyboard stabber is travelling on business and spending a couple weeks in Dongguan. It’s been fun and a bit crazy. Gotta love moving around for work. Interwebs in different places have different things. I remember Japan and what seemed like one WAY overloaded web. Viet Nam was quite surprising… webs were wide open, fast, and cheap. Australia was an adventure in monopoly… Then… China. (>_<)

Interwebs here are fast and reliable, but, boy are they locked down! (>_<)

Twitter, Youtube, Metacafe, bits and pieces of Google… Heck, even my own Blogspot site… All blocked. Searches are peppered with broken links. Logging to SL works, but, after a while packet loss starts to skyrocket. Especially if I start clicking links to blocked sites. And, so far, people been wanting to guineapig me by sending every possible blocked link they could imagine. (._.)

Still… What works, works. I’m able to VPN to my work compie in California to post this. I’m totally having fun here and I took a few pikkies. The weather’s all hazy, though. It’s hard to get contrast and detail when everything grey. (>_<)

Anyways, here I am and there you are. I’ll be back in my favorite time zone by the end of the week. It’ll be nice to have my 90% uncensored interwebs access back again. =^-^=

Darkly Cute - Now at the new Unreal Mall! =^-^=

One of my neighbors in the Ferguson sim has put together a cute little mall on an estate sim. Kiki and the others already have shops and booths there and under the suggestion of a good friend, I decided to move in too. (^_^)

It's a really nice place with wonderful and simple textures. Rent is L$100 per week with a cap of 4 weeks rental at a time. I've already gotten some positive attention from the place, so, I'll be sticking around for a while. (^_^)

Check it out here http://slurl.com/secondlife/Unreal/80/21/23. (^_^)y

NEW @ Darkly Cute - Atchi - Unreal Avatar

I totally took advantage of my extended weekend this week. Armed with some free time and my Wacom, I went and painted me an Unreal avatar. =^-^=

Using Ichgigo's freebie head sculpt and a bit of boredom, here we go! Atchi! Xd

The avatar includes a shape, skin, Unreal head, and a pair of my upcoming Unreal eye series. (^_^)



You can find it inside my cookie jar here at Darkly Cute. (^_^)y